Motivational Growth Page #7

Ian:
Shut up!

I want her to come inside,

I want her to come inside right now,

you can't be here.

The Mold:
But Jack, The Mold is everywhere.

Ian:
lf she finds you, you're done, we're done.

The Mold:
But if you want to get this bird

jacketed, Jack, you and The Mold are going

to have to work together!

Ian:
Shut up.Just shut up until she's gone.

That's all I need from you.

The Mold:
Fine, you'll get nothing but help

from The Mold, Jack.

Ian:
Stop!

The Mold:
It's the only reason that The Mold is here!

Ian:
Shut it!

F***ing dick, man.

(grumbling)

I'm sorry about that.

Leah:
No problem.

Ian:
Oh my god, do you see that girl?

Leah:
Yeah, you just fax in your order.

Welcome to the future.

Hey, can I come in?

Earth to Ian, can I come into your space ship now?

Ian:
Yes, please, I'm sorry.

Leah:
Nice digs.

Oh wow, look at that TV.

Ian:
His name's Kent.

Leah:
You named your television?

Ian:
I guess so, yeah.

Leah:
This couch is a bit old, we can fix that.

Do you mind?

Ian:
Oh no, I think it's broken though.

J Dogg:
One more in through the nose,

and out through the nose.

You feel me?

All that stress and sh*t, you just gotta let it go.

Sometimes you just gotta get

Commercial:
To gently place the two pieces

of meat together, like so.

Leah:
Are you watching this?

Ian:
I've never really had a girl on my couch.

Leah:
I've never really had a girl on your couch either

we should make membership cards,

apply for a tax ID.

Ian:
what?

Leah:
I'm not watching this,

I'm thinking about you.

Ian:
Me?

Leah:
Yes, you, Ian, the boy in the bubble

with his telescope trained on to look at wildlife.

You're a total enigma to me.

I usually have things figured out in a snap,

I usually know what's up before gravity.

But you're a mystery though.

I've never kissed a mystery before.

Ian, are you okay?

Ian!

(vomiting)

Ian:
Not you, not you!

Leah:
Ian calm down!

It's okay! It's okay!

What have you been eating?

Ian:
I don't know!

Leah:
I need to use your restroom.

Your place has the same layout as mine only flipped.

That puts the bathroom down there, right?

Ian:
I'm sorry!

(whimpering)

F***!

Leah:
Who is it?

Ian:
It's Ian, I cleaned the couch.

Leah:
Ian who?

Ian:
Ian Folliver?

This is my apartment, I live in it.

You're in my bathroom.

Leah:
I guess you can come in then.

Did you bring me a shirt?

Ian:
Yes I did, it's my favorite shirt.

It's washed too, which is good.

It was in the kitchen, not right now,

but when I was cleaning.

And then I washed it with laundry, so now its

Leah:
Give it here.

Ian:
It's clean now.

Hey.

Lea h:
Hey.

So what are all those holes in the wall?

Ian:
I was gonna hang pictures.

Leah:
Really?

Ian:
No, I go kind of crazy in here, alone.

I don't know what I made them for.

Leah:
Weirder and weirder.

What have we got to eat?

I'm sure you're hungry after that barf.

Ian:
I'm pretty sure I've got some Bu-Sha-Ka.

You know, the noodles.

No Scare-Berry though.

Leah:
Shame, I'll take an original,

if you don't mind going through all the trouble

of boiling some water.

Hey, how'd you know I like Scare-Berry?

Ian:
I didn't. I just like it, a lot.

My mom never let me have it as a kid.

Leah:
Get out!

Ian:
I'm sorry.

Leah:
Figure of speech, space man.

Ian:
Wait what?

Leah:
It was a figure of speech.

I don't actually want you to get out.

And even if I did, this is your place.

I definitely don't want you to leave.

Can I hang this?

Ian:
Have we met before?

Leah:
Is this that game where we

have to answer every question with a question?

Ian:
Have we met before?

Leah:
Yes, Ian, I came to your front door

after a few days of being gawked at.

Tried to blew your mind up.

Ian:
And that's it?

Leah:
That's it,Jack.

Ian:
What did you just say?

Leah:
I said that's it.That's the only time we've met.

Ian:
Why did you call me Jack?

Leah:
Are you gonna get that?

Box:
Well would you look at that. Folliver, I'm impressed!

Ian:
Box!

Box:
This place was the ass end of the building

going on a year, I get complaints you know,

people wanting Box to knuckle you out of here,

you're kind of a nut, you know?

Cleaned this place up good, though, real good.

Ian:
Thanks.

Box:
Don't thank me yet, Folliver.

It's been three days, I need that rent.

Ian:
Oh sh*t.

Box:
That's not what I want to hear from you, Ian.

Ian:
Box.

Box:
Shut up. Excuses are what people pay me

when they ain't got rent.

Ian:
I can have

Box:
Shut up!

You ever broke a chimp's arm before?

Ian:
F***.

Box:
They're real tough, they gut bones like they

were made of rock. It's like breaking

a slab of concrete trying to

break a chimpanzee's arm.

They won't just let you do it either.

They're fighters. They fight dirty.

When that arm snaps, there's this scream.

It's like when you set a church on fire

with a broom handle stuck in the door,

its not just one sound, it's a hundred sounds

all balled up into one terrifying song.

You ever heard that?

Ian:
No, Box

Box:
Shut up.

After breaking the chimp's arm,

it's not so hard anymore breaking a man's.

Leah:
la n, is everything okay?

Hey, Ian you're gonna miss the

Box:
Folliver is that a girl I hear?

Ian:
Yes, Box.

Box:
With tits?

Ian:
She has those, yes.

Box:
She in your bathroom?

Ian:
She is, yes. No shirt. You heard her.

Box:
You devil, you demon,

I had no idea you had that kind of metal

Folliver, really I didn't.

Ian:
I'm not sure that I do either.

Box:
This whole time I had you figured a fag.

I was giving you the grief so you didn't

try to sneak it in. I had no idea you went for skirts.

And there's one in your place right now, huh?

Ian:
Yes, a girl, in my place, with tits.

Box:
So this is why.

Okay, I'll be back tomorrow.

You give me that rent then,

minus whatever it takes to get this legger

over the barrel, you know what I mean?

Ian:
Thanks, Box.

Box:
You know what l mean though?

Ian:
I do. I know exactly what you mean.

Box:
I mean sex!

Ian:
Thanks, Box.

Leah:
I was wondering if you left.

Ian:
I haven't left in more than a year.

Leah:
Geez, and when did you

start door stalking me?

Ian:
A few days age, I think?

Things got really weird when

I tried to kill myself.

Leah:
Go on, Ian.

Ian:
I tried to gas myself there,

in the bathtub, but I have a vent.

Leah:
Were you cleaning?

Ian:
No, I mean I actually tried to kill myself.

Like with everything in my life, I failed.

Everything until now.

Now with you in my bathroom.

Leah:
Listen to me, I'm here because I want to be.

I want to know you. Learn about you.

Ian:
There's not much to learn Leah.

I'm a loser.

I'm a slot car without a track.

I lost my plans, my ambitions, my direction.

Leah:
Stand up.

Dc you know anything about bees?

Ian:
Not a single thing.

I mean yeah of course, I know about bees,

Leah:
You have a queen bee and a drone bee,

and a billion million worker bees.

Ian:
I think I knew that, yeah.

Leah:
The drone bee is an outcast.

The worker bees will try to kill him

if he gets too close to the hive.

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