Movie 43

(LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS)

Look, I don't want to be Mr. Rush here,

but I do have another meeting

over at Rothman's place,

in 40 minutes.

- So...

- Without further ado...

The day I came up with this idea,

I was in a cheese shop, in Paris,

with Isabella Rossellini.

Now, I know how pretentious

that sounds,

but let me just bring it

down to Earth for you, OK?

- Isabella, she's lactose intolerant.

- She is?

And I had to spend the entire

ride back to our apartment

sticking my head out the window,

just biting the air like a dog.

(LAUGHING)

Don't you tell her I told you that.

No, no, no.

All right. Let's get down to it.

This is a movie

that is about something,

but it could also be very commercial.

It's a smart movie with heart.

Sort of like The Help.

- I love that movie.

- Thank you.

Look, have you ever been

in a place in your life

where it can go either way,

it's like a crossroads?

I don't have to make movies.

I'm done, I'm set.

So, if I don't get to make this film

the way that I want to make it,

I'm gonna walk away

from the business forever.

Wow. OK. Let's... Go.

Let me hear it.

OK.

The movie opens

on a smart career woman,

think Kate Winslet,

and she's about to go out

on a blind date.

Hey. Ooh, you look good.

I hope you're almost ready.

He's gonna be here any second.

I don't know why I'm doing this, Pam.

I don't trust Julie.

- I mean, what if this guy's a loser?

- He's not a loser.

He made senior partner at his law firm

by the time he was, like, 28.

So all he cares about

is his career and money.

Hm, not according to Julie.

He's a volunteer

with the Special Olympics.

He's on the board

of the New York Philharmonic. Oh!

He's opening a new restaurant

with Derek Jeter!

But he's probably got one of those

awkward character faces

that sort of really

has to grow on you, right?

Hm.

Mr. Character Face is

on the cover of Gotham magazine.

- That's him?

- (WHISPERS) That's him.

- Yeah.

- (GASPS)

- (SIGHS)

- (DOOR BUZZES)

- And he's here. Go.

- (SQUEALS)

- Do I look OK?

- Gorgeous.

- Have fun.

- Bye.

(SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- Several of them.

- You've gotta be kidding.

I'm telling you. Don't knock

shopping on TV until you've tried it.

I think you're the first person I've

ever met who buys stuff off television.

- No, come on.

- It's true.

Where do you think I got this scarf?

And you know what?

I bet it's softer than yours.

OK. See, that's where I draw the line.

Do not start putting down the scarf.

Here, feel this.

One hundred percent pashmina. At least

that's what the guy on the street told me.

Come on, then.

Wow, that is soft. Well, you know I...

Hey, Mr. H. Table's ready, sir.

Great.

- I'll take those.

- Uh, thank you.

- Our table's ready.

- Thank you.

After you.

So, um, Carrie tells me

you design clothes for kids.

Yes, clothes for kids, I design...

...clothes for kids... kids' clothes.

- Awesome, awesome.

- Hm.

So, if I see some kids looking weird

this summer, it may be your fault, huh?

- Um, I...

- I'm just joking, I'm just joking.

- Ah!

- Your Russian standard vodka, sir.

- Am I that predictable, Abby?

- (ABBY CHUCKLES)

Um... Are you good with that

or would you prefer a glass of wine?

No, no, I could, um... use it.

Thank you.

So here's to a, um...

Here's to a wonderful evening.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Hm!

- Those Russians know something. Ha, ha!

This is a nice place.

Oh, it's great, this place.

You gotta check out the ceiling.

Those beams are taken out of this

old Quaker meeting house

out in rural Pennsylvania.

I mean, look. It's all oak.

Isn't that something?

It's gorgeous.

Oh, wow, Jake. What's this?

Well, Mr. H, this is a vichyssoise,

courtesy of Chef Billy.

Now, he heard that you guys were

coming in tonight, so he's put together

a special four-course meal for you.

Lobster OK tonight?

That's OK with me if it's OK with you.

Unless you want to check out the menu.

Beth? Unless you want to check out

the menu, or?

No, that sounds lovely.

- Terrific.

- Please thank the chef.

Thank you. Bon apptit.

- Mm!

- Oh, you've... got something on your...

Something on my neck?

Leave it to me to embarrass myself

on a first date. Oh.

- Here...

- There? There? I got it?

A bit more on the left...

ball, one...

...left side of... dribbly bit.

Thanks. I mean, no biggie.

Trust me, I've been through worse.

I mean, as a kid

I used to get made fun of all the time.

Was it... because of your?

My stutter.

I used to have a really bad stutter.

I actually took, probably, nine years

of speech therapy to get rid of it.

- Hm.

- Hm...

- Mm...

- (GAGS)

So was there anything else

they may have made fun of?

Hm...

- No, I don't know...

- Anything at all?

Oh, yes, some kids used to talk

a little smack about my neck.

Oh, thank God!

I thought I was going crazy.

What?

I mean...

Not a big deal... at all.

It's just, um...

What is the story there?

Oh. Uh...

When I was six, I fell off my bike

and I landed on the sprinkler head,

and they had to

stitch me up at the hospital.

See, it's just a scar.

Right? I mean, kids can be mean.

They used to call me Frankenstein.

(MOANING) He's alive. He's alive!

- (CHUCKLES)

- (FORCED CHUCKLE)

Well, I don't care.

Kid's make fun of everything, right?

Is it just me or did it suddenly

get a little chilly in here?

(SHUDDERS)

Ah, I think it may be that vent there.

- Here we are.

- Oh, man!

Look at the size of those things.

Jake, buddy, would you mind

turning up the heat just a tad?

- I think that vent's blowing right on me.

- Not a problem.

Thank you.

- And just let me go ahead...

- Sure.

...and get this out of your way.

- (GASPS)

Oh, God! Are you OK?

It's my stomach... It's...

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES)

Just get my breath back here.

Oh. OK.

- There he is, there's the stud.

- Hey! Angie!

- How the hell are you guys? You good?

- Apparently not as good as you.

Hi, I'm Angie,

and this is my husband, Ray.

- Hi.

- This is my new friend, Beth.

She's slowly restoring

my faith in blind dates.

RAY:
Kudos to you, Beth,

for getting this old workaholic

out of his office for once.

Nice work. You caught the big one.

Did I? Do you not notice...

Look how big little Evan's getting.

Come here. Can I?

- Come here.

- He's growing like crazy.

- Whoa!

- (CHUCKLING)

- No...

- He's a big boy.

- Yeah.

- Who's a big boy?

Who's a big boy, huh?

He's a monster. You've got yourself

a little linebacker here.

A little linebacker

that needs to go to bed.

- Get you off to bed.

- Up. Oh!

- Uh-oh. Don't move.

- Another pacifier down.

I got it.

RAY:
Thanks, buddy. Thanks, bud.

ANGIE:
You guys look so cute

I gotta take a picture.

Really? Oh.

- Angie, please...

- Let the man eat, honey.

Come on, Ray.

We have a picture of our first date,

they should have a picture of theirs.

Come on. Get your fanny

over there, behind her.

And don't be shy.

- OK, OK, OK. All right.

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