Mr. Deeds Page #5

It says, "It's hard to soar with the eagles

when you're surrounded by turkeys."

But what you said was better.

It's all good.

Rest in peace, Preston.

That concludes today's service.

I actually thought I would say something.

Deedsy was always

the best speaker in school.

Deedsy?

That's some job, by the way, Your Majesty.

I thought we were watching Scooby-Doo.

Hi, my name is Deeds.

I was Preston Blake's great-nephew.

I wrote a poem for him

on my way over here, in my head.

And I'm going to recite it for you.

I didn't realize I'd be following

the rhyme-master Reverend Sharpton.

But here we go anyways.

"You climbed mountains

and built skyscrapers

"You made TVshows

and put out newspapers

"You were wicked good at doing stocks

"You liked it

when Emilio would change your socks

"We never hung out and that makes me sad

"All the good times we could've had"

Nice rhyme.

"But when I die, Uncle Preston,

you better say, 'Cheers! '

"'Cause me and you are hanging

at the pearly gates

"I'll bring the beers, I'll bring the beers"

He's good.

Amen.

I know this is supposed to be

a closed casket, but where I come from...

... we feel it's good to see the body

for the grieving process, so...

Sorry about that!

I'll keep this sucker closed.

He's still pretty frozen.

Almost there.

I'll keep an eye on the company for you.

Love you.

Nice meeting you.

Thanks for the apartment.

That was freaky.

Everybody drive home safe.

Man, this guy is in way over his head.

- Take care.

- You'll see him tonight?

Yes, I'm calling around 4:00.

That's when I get off work.

Remember, I'm Pam Dawson,

virgin school nurse...

...from Winchestertonfieldville, lowa.

That's priceless.

You, a virgin.

- All right, thank you.

- Excuse me, sir.

- I told him he could have that.

- Thanks.

Right on. Nice seeing you.

You need to use our bathroom,

come back and use it, okay?

Will do, Deeds!

How do you think I did at the funeral today?

You spoke beautifully, sir.

I still feel bad.

I snapped my uncle's hand off

when I put him back in the casket.

Lucky for him, he was dead, sir.

Even though his face was frozen that way...

...it looked to me like he was a happy guy.

Am I right?

- He truly was.

- Come on, sit down, please.

And I got to hang out with him,

just like this...

...almost every day for 30 years.

What did you guys talk about?

We spoke of life, love, art, wine, business.

I learned much from him.

- I bet you miss him, too.

- I do.

He was like a parent to me.

You see, I never knew my father,

and Mama...

...she passed while giving the birth to me.

- You want some Cocoa Pebbles?

- No, thanks.

I have much work to do.

- Thanks. You don't have to do that.

- Enjoy your Pebbles.

One more thing.

Your great-uncle did not let me

change his socks for him, either.

I like feet.

I do not know why.

Hello.

Hi, Deeds? It's Pam. Pam Dawson.

I'm so happy you called.

I'm wicked sorry about last night.

I don't drink very often.

I thought you held your liquor very well.

Unfortunately, I couldn't hold it for too long.

That's okay.

I didn't really like that skirt anyway.

I'm getting a call on the other line.

Can you hang on for a second?

- Sure.

- Thank you.

Hello.

Mr. Deeds, this is Kevin Ward,

the quarterback you punched.

What's up, buddy?

I wanted to say that I was thinking it over

and I'd like to live up to my word.

And I'd like to win you a Super Bowl.

- That's terrific, pal.

- And my daddy wants to speak to you.

Deeds. Buddy Ward here, Kevin's daddy.

How you doing, Mr. Ward?

I just want to thank you

for teaching my boy a lesson.

He's a good kid. He just has to watch

his language in front of the ladies.

I'll remind Kevin where he comes from.

That sounds terrific.

You used foul language in front of a lady?

No, Daddy, no!

Pam.

Still here.

How's it going? You at work?

- Yep, here in the nurse's office.

- Any customers?

Customers? Oh, sick kids.

Well, little Billy Barty's here.

- You're not feeling too good, Billy?

- Miss Dawson, my tummy hurts.

Why don't you just lay back and relax?

That was nice. Good job.

I've got too much doo-doo

in my underpants.

Make the stinky go away.

Well, you sound like

you got your hands full, so...

...l'll just come out with it.

How would you like

to do something with me tonight?

I'd love to do something with you.

Great.

We can't go out drinking.

I got our company in trouble.

That's okay.

I was brought up never to drink alcohol.

Not even rum raisin ice cream.

I like that. I'll think of something good.

See you tonight.

Okay. 'Bye.

I got to try this.

Was that awesome?

Am I out or safe?

I'm with you.

What is this?

My great-uncle's personal journal.

- Should I read it?

- Family.

Family, safe, good.

All right, have a good night. My back hurts!

- Nice doing business with you.

- Thank you.

Thanks for the bikes.

What are you gonna do with your $20,000?

Buy a giraffe.

What are you gonna do with your $20,000?

Quit school.

Good idea, school is for fools. Look at me!

The park is beautiful.

These trees, they remind you

of Winchestertonfieldville at all?

Oh, yes. Very much so.

What was it like growing up there?

It was great.

I remember walking down

to the corner drugstore...

...and getting malted milkshakes.

What was your house like?

We had this big Victorian.

Right off Main Street.

- Blue shutters and a big red door.

- All right.

- And a tire swing in the front yard.

- I love it.

And I remember the time I fell out of

old Boo Radley's apple tree...

...and broke my arm.

And my father, before he passed away...

...from the disease of the lepers...

...he came and he scooped me up

and he ran me all the way to Dr. Pepper's.

Dr. Pepper.

Yeah.

I'm glad that guy was around.

- Want to sit down?

- Sure.

- Thank you.

- My pleasure.

I was reading my great-uncle's journal

on my way over to you.

And, when he was age 9...

...he wrote that he had the only family

on the block with a radio...

...and he was dreaming

of becoming a disc jockey someday.

A disc jockey?

You know, when I was a kid,

I wanted to be a news reporter.

I used to go around interviewing everyone...

...and writing notes

in my little Holly Hobby notebook.

People didn't like that. I got beat up a lot.

- Do you remember their names?

- No, it was a long time ago.

But my grandma said to me:

"One day you'll grow up

and work for 60 Minutes...

"...and make a difference in the world."

You do make a difference in the world,

every day. You're a school nurse.

Anyways, this is what happened

to my uncle.

Later on in his life, he'd go

to this radio station that he owned...

...at 3:
00 in the morning and DJ for an hour.

That's great.

So, don't give up hope.

You'll be a reporter someday.

If you really want to.

That would be nice.

- Jeesum Crow, a fire!

- A fire?

- We should help.

- We should?

- Let's get going.

- To the fire?

- Fifi, get over here right now.

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