Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation Page #9

- # Have to keep revolvin' # | - # Can't be found #

- #Just goin' round and round # | - # Looks like I'm gonna have to keep revolvin' #

- # 'Cause I simply can't let go # | - #Just goin' round and round #

- # It's a terrible confession # | - # 'Cause I simply can't let go #

- # I'm like a Jonah and the whale # | - # It's a terrible condition #

- # Can't hold on # | - # I'm like a Jonah #

- # If you'll pardon the expression # | - #And the whale #

- # I've got a tiger # | - # Can't go on #

- # By the tail # | - # If you'll pardon the expression #

# I've got a tiger by the tail #

# Cream puff, shortcake #

# Sweet stuff, jelly roll #

# Gumdrop, milk shake #

# Curl up and be my baby doll ##

- Hi. | - Hi.

- Well, where-where's Brenda? | - She left again.

Oh, no, not again- | What-What was it this time?

Uh, I understand | she didn't like cooking.

Oh. You know, | when I'm reincarnated...

I wanna come back as a cook.

Because- Oh.

Not only is a cook overpaid | to begin with...

but a cook doesn't have to pay | for her home...

a cook doesn't have to pay | for her food...

a cook doesn't have to pay | for her light or heat or TV...

or any of her clothes, | except maybe her pants.

And, on top of that, she doesn't | have to know how to cook.

What happened?

I'll call Dr. Von Braun now.

Ah, ah, ah! | You don't have to tell me.

Pizza Heaven.

Say, you're really getting with it, Dad.

She had gallstones as big as golf balls.

- Oh, hello? | - Good day.

I'm Mr. Turner, | and this is my wife, Mrs. Turner.

Oh. Oh, oh, yes.! How do you do?

I'm Mrs. Hobbs. Come here, Katey. | This is my daughter Katey.

Nice to meet you. | I'm in a terrible hurry. Bye.!

Good-bye.

- The Turners are here. They're a little early. | - Oh. Fine.

- Well. | - Oh, uh, uh, this is my husband, Roger.

- How do you do? My name is Turner. | - How do you do, sir?

- And Mrs. Turner. | - Mrs. Turner. How do you do?

- How do you do? | - We didn't expect you so soon, but-

Well, we got a little ahead | of our schedule...

so we thought we might spend | a few days with you.

- Uh, a few days. Yes. | That's awfully nice of you to have us.

Yes, of course. | You have accommodations?

Oh, yes, yes, of course. | We have a very nice guest room upstairs.

Would you have your man | take our bags out of the car, please?

Yes, the two big ones for me | and the two smaller ones for Mrs. Turner.

- I see. | - Yes, we'd like to freshen up a little.

- Oh, yes, of course. Come with me. | - Thank you so much.

- Upstairs. | - We're delighted you could drop by.

Oh, man, what are you waitin' for? | Get their bags upstairs!

To his few remaining friends...

Mr. Hobbs had for some time | been known affectionately as "Red Cap. "

He was not aware at the time | that Mr. Turner was an eccentric...

who carried concrete in his suitcases.

- You had no trouble finding us, I hope? | - No.

But that, uh, piece of road | leading up to the house here...

could stand a bit of resurfacing, | don't you think?

Oh, you took the upper road- | the one that goes past the golf course.

Oh, yes. Yes, I- | Did you bring your sticks with ya?

No, I gave up golf | when we got married.

Didn't wanna spend | all that time away from Emily.

Oh, Martin and I both agree | it's perfectly dreadful...

the way so many young, married couples | are split up every weekend by golf.

- That's what Stan says. | - Fine young man- Stanley.

The way Stan puts it, if a husband | and his wife can't do it together, it's out.

Our feeling exactly.

How about some tennis | tomorrow morning?

- Mixed doubles. | - Same thing with tennis.

I used to play a little bit, but Martin | never cared for it. So I gave it up.

That's the way it is | with everything with us.

If Emily doesn't care for it, | I don't either, and vice versa.

Well, what I think we ought to do | is just stretch out down there on the beach...

and do absolutely nothing.

- Well, unfortunately- | - I'm afraid that's out of the question.

You see, | Emily has very sensitive skin.

If she's out in the sun more than a minute | or two, she breaks out in big blisters.

It's probably because | my body's so white.

Every square inch of it.

Well, how about you, Mr. Turner?

Oh, no. | I've got splotches all over.

Big, brown ones. | But I never take my clothes off.

Well-You know what I think?

I think you two folks | have this whole problem licked.

None of this nonsense about exercise | and fresh air and sunshine...

when you could be devoting yourselves | to something really important, like drinking.

Now- Now, what'll we start with?

Something nice, cold and tall?

Or shall I just fix ya | a real short blast here?

Martin and I don't drink.

Well, you mean, uh, just a sherry?

No, we don't touch it in any form, | either one of us.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't have yours | if you're in the habit of it.

Oh, yes, you go right ahead. | Lots of our friends are drinkers.

Oh. Well, uh, honey, | what would you like?

Oh, just the same old root beer, | I guess.

Root beer. All right. | That's- I'll have to get that. Susie?

Root beer's fine for me. | It's in the icebox, isn't it?

Yes. Yes, it's just, uh- Make it three.

Okay.

Well, uh, it's too bad you're | just staying till Saturday.

Yes, I'm afraid that's all. | We have a lot of territory to cover yet.

That's too bad. That's, uh-

That's-That's too bad.

Well, what do you say | to a little bridge?

Not for us, thanks.

Cards bore Martin to tears.

- Would anyone like some more coffee? | - No, thank you.

Uh, did you discover any interesting | little restaurants on the road?

What do you mean, "interesting"?

Oh, you know, out of the ordinary.

Oh, yes. No.

Martin and I don't go in | for that sort of thing very much.

We had a pretty good hamburger | at a diner outside North Eureka.

- Plenty of onions. | - South Eureka, wasn't it?

It was North Eureka.

I remember you saying, "They certainly know | how to cook a good hamburger in South Eureka. "

I never made any comment | about South Eureka.

- Well, um, shall we? | - Yes, yes.

I'll, uh, help clear the table.

- If you'll excuse us, please, we'll join you later. | - All right, dear.

I, uh- I've been dipping | into War and Peace again.

Tolstoy. War and Peace.

I don't get much chance to read anything | but technical stuff anymore.

Of course, | I like a good Sherlock Holmes.

Or Nero Wolfe. | That's the one you like, darling.

Sherlock Holmes, | if it's all the same to you.

Well, uh, what do you do?

I mean, for fun.

I know you work very hard, | but we all do that.

When you want to relax, | what do you do, you and Emily?

Well, the fact is | we lead a very simple life.

Nothing much in the wintertime. | Just chumming around together.

But when the good old | summertime comes around...

we like to get out in the open on our own | trotters and just see what we can see.

- Uh-huh. | - You like birds?

- Oh, very much. | - Do much spotting?

Eh-Well, not real spotting.

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