Mr. Nobody

They can't do sh*t, man!

The f***in' Ibanians

can suck your balls, man!

If they tell tales on races

to the cops,

everyone will spit on them, man.

They won't tell them about races,

they'll find different

things to tell them.

They'll burn your car down

for starters.

Come on, man!

It was an accident, it

could have been me in that car.

If it was you, we wouldn't

let them get away with it!

Only for a month, man. Go to your

sister, and then we'll see.

What are you talking about!

I am not going back

to Russia, never!

The f***in' Albanians

can suck your balls, man!

- Tell them man!

- Yeah man!

I'm staying! End of story!

NOBOD Y:

One year later

Quit hanging around,

Julia... keep working!

HOMER - OD YSSEY

Let's see...

Where did we stop?

Hey scholar! What took you

so long. People are waiting!

Papagiannis, Karaoli Dimitriou

and Afroditis str...

Sorry...

Did I scare you?

Yeah...

I got a little scared, I'm ok.

- Are you alright?

- Yeah.

- The pizzas?

- Ok.

I have to go now.

What about Tassos?

Thanks, but no way!

He is a bit...

he is such a jerk, Nelly!

The other day, we were

at school talking,

and he was looking behind me.

I turned around and find out he was

looking at his reflection on a glass!

Ok, listen now,

I'll see you tonight ok?

Bye, kisses.

Come to prepare the table...

Your father and brother

are waiting to eat.

(In Albanian) I'll go check

if the laundry is ready...

We haven't ordered pizzas, lad.

- Today is the date?

- Yeah, today...

Enough...

I haven't been f***ed in the

joint, and I won't get f***ed now.

- How are you?

- Fine, man. How about you?

Fine.

Reading to your father

again, huh?

Did he get it all?

- Have you bought a car?

- No

No?

- Girlfriend?

- What do you mean?

Speak up!

Do you have a girlfriend or not?

I do... I mean I did... I mean...

What kind of bullshit

question is this?

Same old...

Like I've never left.

You too.

As I see, they've brought you

to reason.

- Mom, where is my blouse?

- What blouse?

- You already know!

- I don't know.

The one I was trying on before,

tell me!

You should keep them

from loosing them.

(In Albanian)

What blouse is she talking about?

I'm sharing my cell with this guy.

I'm kind of chilling, so does he.

Then he starts scratching himself,

I mean scratching himself to death.

He scratches his nose... and scratches...

his nose falls off, he picks it up

and throws it out.

Why are you laughing, a**hole?

Listen to the rest of it.

We stay cool for a while,

and he starts scratching himself

again. Scratching his ear.

Scratching and scratching, bye-bye

ear, he throws it out of the cell too.

And the wanker didn't have enough.

He starts scratching his arm.

Scratching and scratching,

there goes the arm...

he throws it away as well.

I look at him and I'm like,

"Hey dude, I can see you're

leaving us one day at a time."

It's a joke and

I've heard it before.

You've asked about how

it was in the joint, huh?

It's a fact.

That's the way it was.

You meet a girl and then you

can't get your mind off her,

has this ever happened to you?

To meet her out of the blue, and

then think about her all the time.

Sure, man, happens every day,

especially in the last year!

Come on, prick,

I'm serious.

Me too! You know me.

I see a girl, I get crazy,

and after a while it ends.

I f*** her and run. You are

talking about being horny.

This is true love, pal!

I'm going!

Even if you litter all my clothes,

I'm going.

Do you want me to wake him up?

I don't care!

Don't you get it? You're

a grown woman.

You can't hang around

in balls almost naked.

I am seventeen years old.

Seventeen!

This is my school's ball.

At your age I used

to work all day.

It was exhausting.

No time for balls and loitering.

Nobody made you come here.

Nobody! It was your choice.

We've done it for your own good.

We wanted you to grow up

in a proper way.

So, not doing what my

friends do is the proper way?

- You are a Muslim girl!

- You are the Muslim! I am nothing!

Together again at last!

We'll f*** them all!

This motherf***er was in jail,

where have you been, you a**hole?

- On the wildside.

- Where, in the pizza place?

What's your problem

with the pizzas, man?

He wants to be the pizzaboy

of the month!

- Pizzaboy my ass.

- F*** you all!

- They make some fine pizzas, man.

- How do you know?

I've tried it, wanker.

I don't believe it, he had to order

pizza so that he could meet you.

He didn't bring the pizza,

man, a Pakistani did.

They make some fine spaghetti too.

Hey guys...

the ladies...

She has sucked his bone

marrow to the last drop, man.

Did you see her?

A wild beast. Came

straight from the jungle.

Listen to this!

There comes this dude,

totally rolling in it...

He owns an Astra, two hundred

and forty horses,

and there he comes and says,

it won't do.

What are you saying, man? Two

hundred and forty horses won't do?

- The guy was stuck, it won't do.

- What did your boss tell him?

Tell him what?

You are an a**hole?

And starts loading it. Turbo engine,

intercooler...

the car is over-f***ing-loaded...

three hundred horses! You can add

two wings and it takes-off, man!

If we pass later by the parking

lot, I'll tell him to set it up.

Why are you hitting me, a**hole?

- He got out just today!

- So what?

He's spent time for dope,

not for illegal car racing!

A**hole... you always slapping

just like that...

Can you lend me for some action?

I'm gonna tell her:

Jungle-girl, are you aware

of who I am?

I am Jacques Cousteau,

get prepared for some exploration!

Jacques Cousteau explored

the oceans, not the jungle, a**hole.

Who did the jungle?

How should I know?

- What about home?

- What about it?

Have you got anywhere to stay?

You can come to my place.

Me, you and the rest of the

country. I'll sleep next to granny?

Yeah, you're gonna

kiss her goodnight too.

Seriously, what do you say?

- He's staying at your place?

- Yes

Let's go to the bathroom.

Can I come too?

Did you get pissed off

with something?

You've got this look...

I'm ok.

I had a quarrel with

my mother at home.

And you got dressed like

a nun to punish her?

Where is that blouse

we bought together?

Wait...

Put this on.

Do as I tell you just

once and put it on.

And then we'll do the rest.

Come on hurry,

the guy is waiting.

Are you doing this on purpose?

Yeah. On purpose.

I'm sitting there with my friends.

See you later.

Have you pissed

on your pants, man?

- Where are the drinks?

- I'll go get new ones.

The other one has been released,

how come you buy the drinks?

- I received my bachelor degree.

- What?

I received my bachelor degree.

We'll talk about it later.

I'm going to the barwoman!

- So, a lawyer that is.

- So?

Nothing. Nice...

Life is full of surprises.

So you won't be talking

to us from now on?

Definitely I'll be talking to you.

I'll make you my best client.

I'll see you later.

Would you like to dance?

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote