Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid

1

- Doctor.

- Now, just be easy, now.

Take your time.

Let's not worry too quickly.

- My husband...

- Yes?

- My husband's in love.

- Of course.

With a mermaid.

- I beg your pardon.

- Mermaid, M-e-r...

I can spell, thank you.

A mermaid, eh?

A blonde, I believe.

And when you say mermaid,

you mean, I take it, a sort of fish?

Only half, the other half,

I understand, is quite human.

Oh, yes, of course.

He caught her of the Island of St. Hilda's

in the British West Indies

shortly after we arrived there in November.

And since then... a whole woman

I could understand, I suppose, but...

Did you ever see this creature yourself?

- Only her tail.

- You saw her tail?

In the bathtub once.

- The mermaid was taking a bath?

- A bubble bath.

If you'll pardon me, Mrs. Peabody, which of

you is the subject of this consultation,

your husband or yourself?

Why, Mr. Peabody, of course!

Ah, yes, of course, I just wanted

to make sure, that's all.

- Which one is he?

- Directly opposite...

the tall, gloomy one.

What's the matter with him, Mommy,

is he crazy?

Sh, Darling!

How did he say he got

mixed up with this... thing?

He caught her in the bay.

Oh, really! Casting or trolling?

- Trolling, he says, with light tackle.

- How light?

- A twelve thread line.

- What did she weigh?

I'm sorry, I never weighed her.

Well, if she ran over a hundred pounds,

that sounds like very good fishing to me.

- May I?

- The one in the blue Cheviot.

- Did she give him much of a fight?

- Neither then nor since, apparently.

But, look at his eyes,

I bet he IS crazy.

Madam, unless that child is

a qualified psychiatrist

I'll thank him to keep

his opinions to himself.

Mr. Peabody.

Darling, this is Dr. Harvey.

- How do you do?

- How do you...

- Oh... how do you do?

- Well...

Well, what does he want to do? Operate?

Oh! He just wants to

talk to you, Dear, about Lee.

- Her name was Lenore.

- Lenore.

Lenore.

- Well, I'll wait outside.

- No, not out there, that's a human zoo.

Ya know, I think it'd be better if you

went back to the hotel and waited.

All right, goodbye, Doctor, and thank you.

Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Dear.

- Goodbye.

Will you sit down?

Thank you.

Well, now, let's get this

straight at once, Doctor,

I'm quite willing to tell you everything that

happened, because Mrs. Peabody wishes me to.

But I'm not a Looney, and I'm not interested

in any opinion you may form on that subject.

I understand.

If you want to hear the story

on that condition, very well, if not...

Is it right, you caught

her on a 12 thread line?

- You fish?

- Some.

Well, to tell the truth, I didn't actually

hook her, I snagged her in the tail.

Did it hurt her?

No thank heaven, I don't think she even

felt it, never gave any sign of it, anyway.

- And her name was Lenore?

- It was to me!

Would you care to tell me about it?

Well...

We're Bostonians,

as Mrs. Peabody probably told you.

Born, bred and married there.

Well, last fall I had rather a bad case of

flu, kept me in bed for nearly a month.

Even then I was still weak and shaky.

And that's why we decided, both of us,

to put in the whole winter as a holiday...

for me to convalesce.

So we turned our youngster, Priscilla, over to

her grandmother and we went to St. Hilda's.

That's a small British

Island in the Caribbean.

Very tropical, very beautiful,

and no tourists... yet.

The house we rented on the beach,

The Villa Marina,

was more than we could afford, really...

it was all so wonderful...

like heaven to both of us.

And if you can find a little piece

of heaven, who cares what it costs.

Well, that's where it all began,

the very first morning we were there.

Polly...

- It's the surf, isn't it?

- Wonderful.

You ever see anything

that reminds you less of Boston?

Look at that blue.

Aren't you cold?

Huh? Oh, no! I feel great.

Say, wouldn't Priscilla

have loved this though?

I'm sorry now we didn't bring her along.

- I'll get you a robe.

- No, no, no, I don't need it, really.

Good morning, Sir.

- Oh, good morning, Basil, is it?

- Yes, Sir.

- Do you have many mornings like this?

- Lots of them, Sir.

- Good morning, Madam.

- Morning, Basil.

The air is damp and you've been sick.

Hey, look! Is that a flamingo?

A man doesn't get his strength back

so quickly at your age, remember?

Watch him go.

My age?

At 50, I mean, it takes

a little longer to recover.

These are by P

which is Greek to me.

And who, if I may ask, is 50?

You, if I may answer.

It just happens that I'm 48, if you

really want to be accurate about it.

Or if you really want to be

accurate about it, you're 49.

Until next Thursday, anyway.

- No.

- Yes.

- You sure?

- Confident.

- Why, does it hurt, Darling?

- Huh? Oh! No, of course not.

Ah... just a little surprised,

that's all, that's...

I just wasn't expecting it...

this year.

- Sneaked-up on ya, huh?

- Hm?

Well, you're taking it very bravely, I see.

You bet!

A wife doesn't really begin to feel safe, you

know, until her husband turns that 50 corner.

Fifty...

- Feeding the fish?

- Yes, Sir.

- Basil, how old are you?

- Thirty-two, Sir.

How disgusting.

Fifty...

The old age of youth.

The youth of old age.

You all right, Sir?

No.

But I don't know that there's anything

that anybody but GOD can do about it.

No, Sir.

- Who is that?

- Who's what, Sir?

- That singing.

- I didn't hear it, Sir.

Well, it's somebody...

Listen, there it is again.

- You heard it then, didn't you?

- No, Sir!

Like a woman singing.

Hey, could it come from that

little island out there?

No, Sir, that's not an island,

not rightly, it's a key... Kiura.

Couldn't somebody swim out there?

No, Sir, that's black water out there,

full of sharks and barracudas.

But, by George, I see

somebody there now, look!

Couldn't be, Sir.

Seems to be gone now,

but... but I saw it all right.

And once more, it looked to ME like a girl.

The still, sweet fall of music far away.

Shut up!

At the Cabaa Club's

beach party that Saturday night

I looked about for someone who might be able

to shed a little light on this marine concert.

- Good evening, Sir.

- Good evening.

- I'll have a Rum Collins, please.

- Yes, Sir.

Will you join me, Sir?

I say, you join me in a drink, Sir?

- Are you American?

- Why, yes.

Then listen.

About a week ago

I had a very severe headache,

so my girlfriend makes me go

to this doctor, so, all right.

Well, this first thing he does, he...

he takes my blood pressure, it's too low.

Then he plugs me in on a

basal metabolism, it's too high.

Then he checks my heart, it's too weak.

When he x-rays me, I'm... I'm out of focus.

When I'm fluoroscoped, the

liver has disappeared.

So what do you think he says?

- What?

- Give up cigarettes.

- I'll have a beer.

- Yes, Sir.

- Well, what did he say was the matter with you?

- He don't know, he's baffled.

All he knows is:
Give up cigarettes.

- For how long?

- Just 'til I go crazy.

Is he a first rate man?

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