Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid Page #2

He's a quack, a notorious quack, other

people wouldn't even send their dog to him.

Well, then, why do you go to him?

He's my girlfriend's brother.

Happy days.

But I must warn you, my Dearest,

Major Hadley is responsible for

MORE grey hairs among the married men

than ANY other bachelor in St. Hilda's.

- I'm so unscrupulous.

- An Englishman and NOT a gentleman?

- Oh! Good heavens, no!

- I must remember that.

Not that it'll do you any good,

he's completely taken now, body and soul.

- Aren't you, Dear?

- Well, just on approval.

- By who?

- By Cathy... Cathy Livingston.

Cathy Livingston, huh?

Yeah, she could swim out to that key,

she's a great swimmer.

- Why, you want to swim with her?

- Who me? Good heavens, no!

With a good, stiff tail wind I might do

20 or 30 feet, but not much more.

Is she here tonight, do you think?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, I think it'll be all right if we go out

here where the wind'll blow it away.

It's not necessary at all.

She's out there now, slapping

away at all that wet stuff.

- You've seen her?

- No, but that's what she's always doing

at these seaside sociables,

swimming or singing.

She sings, too?

Stoddard Omby, he's out of

musical comedy, you know.

You married?

- Yes, but...

- Then you wouldn't be interested in...

Oh, well, not right now, I'm afraid.

Look, would you be willing to

introduce me to this Miss Livingston?

- It just happens...

- You don't have to explain, that's my business,

good will and public relations.

See, I'm the press agent

for this jungle paradise.

Oh, well, I... I'd appreciate it very much.

- Just as soon as soon as she comes out.

- Uh-huh.

I've... uh... it happens I've had a...

an experience.

It's a rather... uh... curious thing...

as a matter of fact... uh...

- Been married some time I see, huh?

- Huh?

Oh, yes, nearly 15 years.

These are by P

which is Greek to me.

- Who is she, you know?

- Not from this angle.

Rather a neat little number, though.

Not that I pay a good deal of

attention to that sort of thing anymore.

Well, if we're going to start

lying to each other, why...

Here comes Miss Barracuda now.

C'mon.

- Hey! You know that girl?

- Yeah.

- That's not a girl, that's my wife.

- No kid!

Holy smokes, I never saw her in

a suit like that before in my life.

How are you, Fitz, Darling?

Miss Livingston, Mr. Peabody.

- How do you do, Miss Livingston.

- How are you?

Mr. Peabody's an American freak,

he's just been leering at his own wife.

How charming, you must

be a dream of a husband.

I am, but who's that with her?

- Who's got a cigarette?

- Oh, here you are.

Thanks! That's Major Robert Hadley.

- He's on the Governor General's staff.

- Well, shall we join him?

Do you wish to very much?

- My word! What a gruesome looking fellow.

- That's my husband.

Yes, I know.

But you DO sing, don't you?

Yes, but I can't sing

without accompaniment.

Listen, do you know that?

The Caribbees, the Caribbees

When nothing goes by

but clouds in the sky above.

The tiny key,

the roaring sea.

Their soft serenade just

seems to be made for love.

I dream how heavenly

the night would be

with you with me within your arms.

- How old is he really?

- Forty-six.

The rains disguise the full moon's rise

come under a net of

sleepy palmetto trees.

This dream come true, if only you

and the islands they

call the Caribbees.

The circumstances were

entirely different.

Polly had made a public

spectacle of herself.

And in that suit! Holy Moses!

I was simply making a few

serious inquiries into a matter.

It was gone.

I gave up.

As a matter of fact,

Polly was never wronger in her life.

I don't go for those all-around women like

Cathy Livingston, they make me nervous.

What I like is a woman who

can't do anything very much...

You take one of those

Esquire Magazine Englishmen

with that little moustache

and that accent,

it's murder what they do to married women.

Polly's got a darned

good head on her shoulders.

But along comes one of those

Old School Tie boys and...

Not that I haven't got

complete faith in Polly.

Oh, Brother!

Who'd've known about that...

hooked her tail.

Holy Jumping Moses

Polly!

Polly!

Polly!

Polly!

Oh! Darn it!

Take it easy, Miss, will you?

Where's Mrs. Peabody?

Madam's gone to town, Sir,

she'll be right back, though.

You don't generally take

fish upstairs, Sir.

Just... just take it easy, my Dear.

There we are... there.

Nobody's gonna hurt you, nobody's gon...

Oh!

Yes.

Up, up, all right, come on dear.

Now... here we go... there we go.

That's it, now you just trust your Uncle

Arthur and everything will be ALL right.

Just a moment.

Now...

Oh, yes.

Well, all right now, just...

just open your mouth.

C'mon now, it... it'll do you good.

Just... just open up...

like that.

Yeah, go on, that... that's a good girl.

That's what we call...

Mr. Peabody back yet?

Yes, Madam, he's waiting

for you in the living room.

Oh, well, I'm going to take

a bath first if he asks.

- What's the matter? Is something wrong?

- No, Madam, there's nothing wrong.

What ails you, you silly animal?

Who's that?

- Arthur!

- Polly.

Would you mind telling me

who that woman is in my bathroom?

- Woman? Oh, oh, oh, that's no woman.

- Well, it must be a pretty fancy fellow.

The place reeks of my

best Forbidden Madness.

- Oh, but that's impossible.

- Why is it?

Because, a... a piscatorial phenomenon simply

wouldn't use Forbidden Madness, that's why.

- Are you tight?

- Not at all.

I have had a rather odd experience.

You must be! Who is that up there?

My Dear, that happens to be

nothing less than a mermaid.

An authentic, flesh and blood mermaid.

Have you got that... that Livingston woman

up there taking a bath in my tub?

No, of course not, why should I give

Cathy Livingston a bath?

- You better come upstairs with me for a moment.

- Oh, but you better listen first.

Let's go up first, we may

have more to talk about then.

Polly.

Polly.

Polly.

Now, Polly, this is a

situation that calls for

a couple of words of

explanation, believe me.

Now, will you speak to

your friend or shall I?

- It's no use, she can't talk.

- No?

Hello!

- Will you come out, or should I come in?

- She can't walk, either.

- Drunk?

- No legs.

- I'm coming in.

- Tally-ho.

- You're not tight.

- I told you.

You're plastered!

Well, as a matter of fact, I'm NOT, but I'm

GOING to be, I can promise you that.

Just get that FISH out of my TUB

and get it out at once.

Son of a gun, how do you like that?

All right, Honey, party's over.

Now... here.

Upsy-daisy.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we won't be able

to make it for dinner tonight,

something just came up and I don't

think Arthur's going to feel like it.

- Lunch? When?

- What's the matter with tomorrow? Just you and I.

You mean alone?

Just a minute.

Arthur!

May I have your further

wishes in the matter?

Just get rid of it, that's all.

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