Mr. Right Page #7

Will you get this for me? I can't do it.

Yeah, we're f***ed. Big deal.

You started this ride, Von.

You're the one who pushed the

sh*t ball rolling down the hill.

Seriously?

Mmm.

Will you please

shut the f*** up?

Watch your mouth with me, man.

Or what?

Don't let this

become un-fun.

It's supposed to be fun, right?

Or I get a bad attitude.

Who the f***

do you think you are?

I'm f***ing Johnny moon.

What?

Okay. You wanna have some fun?

Yeah.

You wanna have some fun?

What's that, baby? I couldn't

hear you under there.

Okay.

This is you guys.

"Oh, no! He's gonna

come and kill us!"

"I'm Johnny moon!

I love you, Von!"

"I love you too. Wanna

go on a camping trip?"

"Oh, anywhere with you,

buddy."

I like this b*tch.

So,

why don't you tell me.

What's it like?

Having an IQ over 17?

Dating a serial killer.

Now, I gotta slow you down

right there for a second,

'cause to be honest, I...

I don't understand your plan.

Like, is it a "get killed" plan?

Is it, like, a plan

to get killed?

Like an elaborate

sort of suicide pact?

Stings, right?

Are you stupid?

You're so f***ed.

When he gets here, you better

hope you're long gone.

Because he's going to kill you.

And if he doesn't, I will.

You're gonna kill me?

You are?

Well, they tell me successful

people set achievable goals, so...

How does it feel now?

Huh, b*tch?

I feel...

I feel motivated.

Motherfuckers... "oh, do this, Steve.

Do that, Steve.

Come on, Steve, you can handle it.

Take the f***ed-up shotgun."

Hey, what's going on?

Uh-uh.

Ooh, that looks good.

How many guys inside?

Got f***ing Von, Johnny, Bruce, Richie.

So that's four.

Plus six other motherfuckers

with automatic weapons, man.

May I?

That oughta stir 'em up.

- What happened to your face? - F***ing

a**hole Richie beat me with a phone.

Get outta town.

I'm serious, man. Motherf***er

beat me with a phone. What a jerk.

Yeah. Can I have some

of these gummy bears?

I like the green ones.

Help yourself.

That's funny. I hate the f***ing

green ones. Really? Perfect.

You know what I mean?

Will I see you inside?

That's what they pay me for.

Good luck, buddy.

This f***ing guy is crazy.

Von, go to Richard's office

and take him down

in the basement.

You, upstairs.

- Don't worry, Richie.

- Everything's under control.

Motherf***er.

What's going on? Having

a hard time with that?

I'm used to a smaller

caliber gun than this

let me take a look at it.

It's a nice gun.

Thanks.

There you go.

You want your gun back?

Do you want it back?

Please?

- Psych.

Son of a b*tch, man!

- Where's Martha?

- My foot!

F*** you.

All right, I'll find her myself.

What?

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

- Aren't you gonna kill him?

- What?

- You know, do your thing with

the thing that you do? - What?

The hit man thing where they try

to hire you and then you kill them

out of some f***ing misguided moral f***ing

purpose you have... that crazy bullshit.

No, no. I promised my girlfriend.

I don't do that anymore.

- What? - Yeah. You ever met

a girl and it's just like...

You can't eat, you can't

stop thinking about her.

Dude, spare me the bullshit.

I brought you all the

way here to kill him!

And you tell me that you're not

killing anymore? What the f***?

I'm sorry, man. I don't

mean to let you down.

I have no desire to kill

you or your brother.

I'm just here to pick

up my girlfriend.

What the f***, Clevon?

Shut the f*** up, Richie!

You're letting me down

in a big way!

I think you two have some

issues to talk about.

I'm just gonna leave you to it.

Richie, get off!

Give me that... ow! Hey! What's

with you and the biting?

F***.

Hey, what's happening?

- Gorgeous.

Okay. What are you doing? What is

that, like TAE Kwon do or something?

It's karate. The thing is, I don't

do karate. So that's not fair.

You got a f***ing gun

in your hand.

All right, well,

I'll tell you what.

If I promise to put the gun

down, will you not use karate?

Okay.

All right, I'm gonna put the gun down.

We're all good.

Ow! F***!

That was karate!

That's definitely karate!

Wait a sec!

Wait a second!

Oh-ho-ho!

That's a grenade.

What's the plan here?

It's a small room.

Th-this is bad.

It's real bad.

Why do you have a grenade?

Never mind.

I don't wanna die.

Yeah.

Okay, hold on a second.

Just stay still. Okay.

Just breathe. Just breathe.

Now you're making me nervous.

Okay, you're shaking a little bit.

Shh. Be careful. Be careful.

We're gonna do this together.

Ready? One, two, three.

There we go.

Yeah.

We did that.

Why don't you sit down?

Go ahead, sit down.

Relax. Just breathe.

Out through the nose,

in through the mouth.

- Freeze!

- Hey! Whoa! Steve!

Look at you.

That's my man Steve.

What's happening?

Well, there's no way I could get my gun.

You got a little red dot on my heart.

I mean, I don't think I could.

Could I?

Hey.

Your bosses are in the other

room trying to kill each other.

Do you hate me? You wanna kill me?

Is that important to you?

It's not worth it to me. I'm just

here to pick up my girlfriend.

So you know what? Here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna put my gun down.

Okay?

What's the move, Steve?

You know what? I like you more than

those motherfuckers anyway, man.

I like you too, man.

Hey, you know Bruce? Bruce, Steve.

Yeah. We met at the office.

Bruce is having a hard day. Maybe you

could look after him for a while.

I gotta go.

I'll see you.

Hey!

- Hey, monster.

- Hi, honey.

Oww!

Sorry.

That was thoughtless.

Terribly sorry.

What? What are you waiting for?

Gosh, you're cute.

You just like me tied up.

You pervert.

It's true.

Yes, I see it now.

It's true. Okay. Get in here.

Come here.

Mine now.

Like that?

It's mine now.

Why are we going so slowly?

I'm a little afraid of that guy

with the tank top. Oh, Johnny moon?

Yeah.

Is that his name?

I know. It's so stupid.

Ridiculous.

You know, he spit on my face.

What?

That's not the worst of it.

He made fun of my nose.

- Oh, no. I like how the nose looks.

- You do?

Yeah, 'cause it's like... it feels

like everybody's having a good time.

Yeah, well, ideally they

are, you know, but...

Oh!

Baby. Oh, my god.

Are you okay?

Knock it off, Francis.

Get out!

Get outta here!

Get out! Run!

All right, wait a second.

Let's talk about this.

Come on.

He must really like you.

I sure hope so, 'cause otherwise coming

to save me and killing all these guys

is sending some

seriously mixed messages.

God, can you not

laugh right now?

I've got blood in my ass crack and my

face hurts from you guys hitting me.

You're being a real ass,

you know.

You know, it's funny, you being

down there and me up here.

It reminds me of when I was little.

There was this kid, Eric.

This is gonna be a great

story, I can tell. No, no.

Now, this kid, he would

pick on me every day, man.

He would scrunch up

my lunch bag every day.

And I thought, you know, that

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