Much Ado About Nothing

"Sigh no more, ladies

"sigh no more

"Men were deceivers ever

"One foot in sea

"and one on shore

"To one thing constant never

"Then sigh not so

"but let them go

"And be you blithe

"and bonny

"Converting all

"your sounds of woe

"Into Hey

"nonny, nonny!

"Sing no more ditties"

More, more, more!

"Sing no more

"Of dumps

"so dull and heavy

"The fraud of men

"was ever so

"Since summer first

"was leafy

"Then sigh not so

"but let them go

"And be you blithe

"and bonny

"Converting all

"your sounds of woe

"Into Hey

"nonny, nonny!"

My lord.

I learn in this letter...

...that Don Pedro of Aragon...

...comes this night to Messina!

He is very near by this.

He was not three leagues off when I left him.

How many gentlemen have you lost

in this action?

But few of any sort, and none of name.

I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed...

...much honor on a young Florentine

called Claudio.

He hath borne himself beyond

the promise of his age...

...doing, in the figure of a lamb,

the feats of a lion.

Is Signior Mountanto returned

from the wars or no?

I know none of that name, lady.

My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.

He's returned and as pleasant as ever he was.

I pray you, how many hath he killed

and eaten in these wars?

But how many hath he killed?

For indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.

He hath done good service

and a good soldier too, lady.

And a good soldier to a lady.

- But what is he to a lord?

- A lord to a lord.

A man to a man,

stuffed with all honorable virtues.

It is so, indeed.

He is no less than a stuffed man.

You must not, sir, mistake my niece.

There is a kind of merry war

betwixt Signior Benedick and her.

They never meet but there's

a skirmish of wit between them.

Who is his companion now?

He hath every month a new sworn brother.

He is most in the company

of the right noble Claudio.

O lord!

He will hang upon him like a disease.

He is sooner caught than the pestilence,

and the taker runs presently mad.

God help the noble Claudio!

If he have caught the Benedick...

...it will cost him a thousand pound

ere he be cured.

I will keep friends with you, lady.

- Do, good friend.

- You will never run mad, niece.

No, not till a hot January.

Don Pedro is approaching!

Good Signior Leonato,

are you come to meet your trouble.

The fashion of the world is to avoid cost,

and you encounter it.

Never came trouble to my house

in the likeness of your grace.

My lord.

I think this is your daughter.

Her mother hath many times told me so.

Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?

Signior Benedick, no!

If Signior Leonato be her father...

...she would not have his head on her shoulders

for all Messina.

I wonder that you will still be talking,

Signior Benedick. Nobody marks you.

What, my dear Lady Disdain!

Are you yet living?

Is it possible disdain should die...

...while she hath such meet food

to feed it as Signior Benedick?

Courtesy itself must convert to disdain

if you come in her presence.

Then is courtesy a turncoat.

But it is certain I am loved of all ladies,

only you excepted...

...and I would I could find in my heart

that I had not a hard heart, for I love none.

A dear happiness to women.

They would else be troubled

with a pernicious suitor.

I thank God and my cold blood,

I am of your humor for that.

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow

than a man swear he loves me.

God keep your ladyship still in that mind...

...so some gentleman or other shall 'scape

a predestinate scratched face.

Scratching could not make it worse,

an 'twere such a face as yours were.

Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

A bird of my tongue is better

than a beast of yours.

I would my horse had

the speed of your tongue! But...

...keep your way, in God's name I have done.

You always end with a jade's trick.

I know you of old.

Signior Claudio, Signior Benedick...

...my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all.

I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month.

Let me bid you welcome, my lord.

Being reconciled to the prince, your brother...

...I owe you all duty.

I thank you.

I am not of many words...

...but I thank you.

Please it your grace lead on?

Your hand, Leonato, we will go together.

Benedick.

Didst thou note

the daughter of Signior Leonato?

I noted her not, but I looked on her.

Is she not a modest young lady?

Do you question me

for my simple true judgment...

...or would you have me speak after my custom,

a professed tyrant to their sex?

No. I pray thee speak in sober judgment.

Why, i' faith me thinks

she's too low for a high praise...

...too brown for a fair praise,

and too little for a great praise.

This commendation I can afford her,

that were she other, she were unhandsome...

...and being no other but as she is,

I do not like her.

Thou thinkest I am in sport.

I pray thee tell me truly how thou likest her.

Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?

Can the world buy such a jewel?

Yea, and a case to put it into.

But speak you this with a sad brow?

In mine eyes,

she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on.

I can see yet without spectacles

and I see no such matter.

There's her cousin,

an' she were not possessed with a fury...

...exceeds her as much in beauty as

the first of May doth the last of December.

But I hope you have no intent to turn husband.

Have you?

I would scarce trust myself...

...though I had sworn the contrary...

...if Hero would be my wife.

Is't come to this?

Shall I never see

a bachelor of three-score again?

Gentlemen.

What secret hath held you here,

that you followed not to Leonato's?

He is in love.

With who? That is your grace's part.

With Hero...

...Leonato's short daughter!

Amen, if you love her,

for the lady is very well worthy.

- You speak this to fetch me in.

- By my troth, I speak my thought.

- And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.

- And, by my two faiths and troths, I spoke mine.

- That I love her, I feel.

- That she is worthy, I know.

That I neither feel how she should be loved

nor know how she is worthy...

...is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me.

I will die in it at the stake.

Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic

in the despite of beauty.

That a woman conceived me...

...I thank her.

That she brought me up,

I likewise give her most humble thanks.

But that I will hang my...

...bugle in an invisible baldric...

...all women shall pardon me.

I will live a bachelor.

I shall see thee 'ere I die, look pale with love.

With anger, with sickness,

or with hunger, my lord...

...not with love.

Well, as time shall try.

"In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke."

The savage bull may,

but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it...

...pluck off the bull's horns

and set them in my forehead.

And let me be vilely painted

and in such great letters as they write:

"Here is good horse to hire,"

let them signify under my sign:

"Here you may see Benedick, the married man."

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