Much Ado About Nothing Page #7

Away! You are an ass!

You are an ass!

Dost thou not suspect my place?

Dost thou not suspect my years?

O that he were here to write me down an ass!

But, masters, remember, I am an ass.

Though it be not written down,

forget not that I am an ass.

If you go on thus, you will kill yourself.

Bring me a father that so loved his child...

...whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,

and bid him speak of patience.

But there is no such man.

For, brother, men can counsel

and speak comfort to that grief...

...which they themselves not feel.

But, tasting it, their counsel turns to passion.

- But...

- I pray thee, peace.

I will be flesh and blood...

...for there was never yet philosopher

that could endure the toothache patiently.

Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself.

Make those that do offend you suffer, too.

There thou speakest reason. Nay, I will do so.

My soul doth tell me Hero is belied...

...and that shall Claudio know,

so shall the prince...

...and all of them that thus dishonor her.

- Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily.

- Good e'en.

- Good day to both of you.

Hear you, my lords...

- We have some haste.

- Some haste, my lord!

Well, fare you well, my lord.

Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.

Nay, do not quarrel with us, good man.

If he could right himself with quarrelling,

we would lie low.

Who wrongs him?

Marry, thou dost wrong me,

thou dissembler, thou.

Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword.

I fear thee not.

Marry, beshrew my hand,

if it should give your age such cause of fear.

In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.

Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me.

I speak not like a dotard nor a fool.

- I say thou has belied mine innocent child.

- You say not right, old man.

My lord, I'll prove it on his body, if he dare.

Away! I will not have to do with you!

Canst thou so daff me?

Thou hast killed my child!

If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.

He shall kill two of us, and men indeed.

But that's no matter, let him kill one first.

I'll whip you from your foining fence.

Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.

- Brother...

- Content yourself.

God knows I loved my niece.

And she is dead...

...slandered to death by villains...

...scrambling, outfacing,

fashion-monging boys...

...that lie, and cog...

...and flout, deprave and slander...

- Brother Antony.

'Tis no matter. Do not you meddle.

Let me deal in this.

Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.

My heart is sorry for your daughter's death...

...but, on my honor, she was charged

with nothing but what was true...

...and very full of proof.

My lord...

I will not hear you.

No?

Come, brother, away.

I will be heard.

And shall...

...or some of us will smart for it.

See, here comes the man we went to seek.

- Now, signior, what news?

- Good day, my lord.

Welcome, signior.

You are almost come to part almost a fray.

We had like to have had our two noses

snapped off with two old men.

Shall I speak a word in your ear?

You are a villain. I jest not.

I will make it good how you dare

and when you dare.

Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice.

You have killed a sweet lady,

and her death shall fall heavy on you.

Fare you well, boy.

You know my mind.

My lord...

...for your many courtesies I thank you.

I must discontinue your company.

Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina.

You have, among you,

killed a sweet and innocent lady.

For my Lord Lackbeard there...

...he and I shall meet.

Till then...

...peace be with him.

He is in earnest.

- In most profound earnest.

- And hath challenged thee.

Most sincerely.

Officers...

...what offence have these men done?

Marry, sir, they have committed false report.

Moreover, they spoke untruths.

Secondarily, they are slanders.

Sixth and lastly, they belied a lady.

Thirdly, they verified unjust things.

And, to conclude, they are lying knaves.

Who have you offended, masters,

that you are thus bound to your answer?

This learned constable is too cunning

to be understood.

I have deceived even your very eyes.

What your wisdoms could not discover...

...these shallow fools have brought to light...

...who in the night...

...overheard me confessing to this man...

...how Don John, your brother...

...incensed me to slander the Lady Hero.

How you saw me...

...court...

...Margaret.

How you disgraced Hero...

...when you should marry her.

The lady is dead...

...upon mine and my master's false accusation.

Sweet Hero!

Come, bring away the plaintiffs.

By this time, our sexton hath reformed

Signior Leonato of the matter.

And, masters...

...do not forget to specify,

when time and place shall serve...

...that I am an ass.

Here, here...

...comes master Signior Leonato,

and the sexton, too.

Which is the villain?

Let me see his eyes.

If you would know your wronger...

...look on me.

Art thou the slave that with thy tongue

hast killed mine innocent child?

Yea.

- Even I alone.

- No.

Not so, villain. Thou beliest thyself.

Here stand a pair of honorable men.

A third is fled, that had a hand in it.

I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death.

Record it with your high and worthy deeds.

'Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it.

I know not how to pray your patience.

Yet I must speak.

Choose your revenge yourself.

Impose me to what penance

your invention can lay upon my sin.

Yet sinned I not but in mistaking.

By my soul, nor I.

I cannot bid you bid my daughter live.

That were impossible. But I pray you both...

...possess the people in Messina here

how innocent she died.

And if your love can labor ought

in sad invention...

...hang her an epitaph upon her tomb...

...and sing it to her bones, sing it tonight.

Tomorrow morning come you to my house...

...and since you could not be my son-in-law...

...be yet my nephew.

My brother hath a daughter...

...almost the copy of my child that's dead...

...and she alone is heir to both of us.

Give her the right

you should have given her cousin...

...and so dies my revenge.

O noble sir...

...your overkindness doth wring tears from me.

I do...

...embrace your offer...

...and dispose for henceforth of poor Claudio.

Tomorrow, then, I will expect your coming.

Tonight I take my leave.

This naughty man shall, face to face,

be brought to Margaret...

...who I believe was packed in all this wrong.

No, by my soul, she was not...

...nor knew not what she did

when she spoke to me...

...but always hath been just and virtuous

in any thing that I do know by her.

Moreover, sir,

which indeed is not under white and black...

...this plaintiff here, the offender,

did call me "ass."

I beseech you,

let it be remembered in his punishment.

I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.

Your worship speaks like a most thankful

and reverend youth...

...and I praise God for you.

There's for thy pains.

God save the foundation.

Go.

I discharge thee of thy prisoner,

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