Much Ado About Nothing Page #12

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God knows I loved my child,

and she is dead,

slandered to death by villains,

that dare as well answer a man indeed

as I dare take a serpent by the tongue:

Hold you content.

What, man! I know them, yea,

and what they weigh,

even to the utmost scruple...

Scambling, outfacing,

fashion-monging boy,

that lies and cogs, and flouts,

depraves and slanders.

And speaks off half a dozen

dangerous words,

how he might hurt his enemies,

if he dursts; and this is all.

Do not you meddle;

let me deal in this.

Sir, madam,

we will not wake your patience.

My heart is sorry

for your daughter's death,

but, on my honour, she was

charged with nothing but

what was true

and very full of proof.

- My lord, my lord...

- I will not hear you.

No?

Come, Innogen. Away.

I will be heard!

See, see; here comes

the man we went to seek.

- Now, signior, what news?

- Good day, my lord.

Welcome, signior: you are almost

come to part almost a fray.

In a false quarrel there is no true valour.

I came to seek you both.

We have been up and down

to seek thee;

for we are high-proof melancholy

and would fain have it beaten away.

- Wilt thou use thy wit?

- It is in my scabbard: shall I draw it?

- Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?

- As I am an honest man, he looks pale.

Art thou sick, or angry?

Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career,

and you charge it against me.

I pray you choose another subject.

By this light, he changes more and more:

I think he be angry indeed.

Shall I speak a word in your ear?

- God bless me from a challenge!

- You are a villain.

I jest not. I will make it

good how you dare,

with what you dare,

and when you dare.

Do me right, or I will protest

your cowardice.

You have killed a sweet lady,

and her death shall fall heavy on you.

Let me hear from you.

Well, I will meet you,

so I may have good cheer.

Sir, your wit ambles well;

it goes easily.

I'll tell thee how Beatrice

praised thy wit the other day.

I said, thou hadst a fine wit: "True,"

said she, "a fine little one."

"Nay," said I, "a good wit".

"Just," said she, "it hurts nobody."

"Nay," said I, "he hath the tongues:"

"That I believe," said she,

"for he swore a thing to me on Monday night,

which he forswore on Tuesday morning;

there's a double tongue;

there's two tongues."

Yet at last she concluded with a sigh,

thou wast the properest man

in Messina.

My lord, for your many courtesies,

I thank you.

I must discontinue your company.

Your brother the bastard

is fled from Messina.

You have among you killed

a sweet and innocent lady.

For my Lord Lackbeard there,

he and I shall meet.

Until we do

peace be with him.

He is in earnest.

In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant

you, for the love of Beatrice.

- And hath challenged thee.

- Most sincerely.

Soft you, did he not say,

my brother was fled?

Come you, sir:

you must be looked to.

Two of my brother's men bound!

Officers, what offense

have these men done?

Marry, sir; they have committed false report,

moreover, they have spoken untruths,

secondarily, they are slanders,

sixthly and lastly, they belied a lady,

thirdly, they have

verified unjust things,

and to conclude,

they are lying knaves.

Firstly, I ask thee

what they have done;

thirdly, I ask thee

what's their offence;

sixthly and lastly, why they are

committed; and, to conclude,

what you lay to their charge.

Masters, this learned constable is

too cunning to be understood.

What's your offence?

Sweet prince, do you hear me,

and let this count kill me.

I have deceived even your very eyes.

What your wisdoms could not discover,

these shallow fools

have brought to light,

who, in the night, overheard me

confessing to this man

how your brother, Don John

incensed me to slander the lady Hero,

and how you saw me

court Margaret in Hero's garments.

My villany they have upon record;

which I had rather seal with my death

than repeat over to my shame.

The lady is dead upon mine and my

master's false accusation;

and, briefly, I desire nothing

but the reward of a villain.

Runs not this speech like iron

through your blood?

- I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it.

- But did my brother set thee on to this?

Yea, and paid me richly

for the practise of it.

- And fled he is upon this villany.

- Sweet Hero!

Now thy image doth appear in the rare

semblance that I loved it first.

Come, bring away the plaintiffs.

By this time our sexton hath reformed

Signior Leonato of the matter.

And, masters, do not forget to specify,

when time and place shall serve,

that I am an ass.

Which is the villain?

Which of these is he?

If you would know your wronger,

look on me.

Art thou the slave that with thy breath

hast killed mine innocent child?

Yea, even I alone.

Nay, not so, villain.

Thou beliest thyself.

Here stand a pair of honorable men.

A third is fled that had a hand in it.

I thank you princes

for my daughter's death.

Record it with your high

and worthy deeds.

'Twas bravely done,

if you bethink you of it.

I know not how to pray your patience,

yet I must speak.

Choose your revenge yourself.

Impose me to what penance

your invention can lay upon my sin,

yet sinned I not but in mistaking.

By my soul, nor I.

And yet, to satisfy

this good old man,

I would bend under any heavy weight

that he'll enjoin me to.

I cannot bid you bid my daughter live.

That were impossible.

But I pray you both,

possess the people in Messina

here how innocent she died.

Do so tonight; tomorrow morning

come you to my house,

and since you could not be

my son-in-law,

be yet my nephew.

My wife hath a niece, almost the copy

of our child that's dead.

Give her the right

you should have given her cousin,

and so dies my revenge.

Oh, noble sir.

Your overkindness

doth wring tears from me.

Tomorrow then I will

expect your coming.

Tonight we take our leave.

This naughty man shall face to face

be brought to Margaret,

who I believe was packed

in all this wrong,

- hired to it by your brother.

- No, by my soul, she was not,

nor knew not what she did

when she spoke to me.

Moreover, sir, which indeed

is not under white and black,

this plaintiff here, the offender,

did call me ass.

I beseech you, let it be remembered

in his punishment.

Pray you, examine him upon that point.

I thank thee for

thy care and honest pains.

Your worship speaks like

a thankful and reverend youth,

and I praise God for you.

- There's for thy pains.

- God save the foundation!

Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoners,

and I thank thee.

I leave an arrant knave

with your worship,

which I beseech your worship to correct

yourself, for the example of others.

God keep your worship.

I wish your worship well,

God restore you to health,

I humbly give you leave to depart,

and if a merry meeting may be wished,

God prohibit it!

Come, neighbours!

Until tomorrow morning,

lords, farewell.

- We will not fail.

- Tonight I'll mourn with Hero.

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