Munna Bhai M.B.B.S Page #4

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''Hey, what's wrong with him?

- Attempted suicide - he ate poison.''

Then why is he lying here -

take him inside!

His mom has still to fill the form.

Please hurry!

Doc... He's dying.

Do something.

Sorry. Take him to Casualty.

l'm off duty.

'Off duty'? He's dying in front

of you - what the hell is 'off duty'!

''For an 'attempted suicide' case,

a police form must be filled first.''

What if l 'attempted murder' you -

''will the hospital save you or

fill a form first, huh?!''

Careful.

Over here.

Please wait here.

ls he your boy?

- Yes.

Dump the tension. They'll get

all the junk out of him in no time.

''Who are you, dear boy?''

Murli Prasad Sharma. First year.

Entrance exam topper.

''l gotta run to class.

lf the doc bugs you, call me.''

Keep working on him Doc!

What?

Where is the first year classroom?

- Why?

What 'why'?

Why are you looking for the classroom?

Because l'm late.

- For what?

The class. Today is my first day.

- But what will you do in the classroom?

l'm a student.

Student?

Entrance exam topper....

Where's the class.

Where's the class.

- You're a student?

l'll tell you what...

what's your name?

Dr. Suman.

''Dump the tension,

l'll find the classroom myself.''

''Where's the first-year class?

- Straight, then left...''

Good Morning sir!

What's up?

l like to tell you...

The country's best doctors

have studied in this very hall.

They sat on these very benches.

Just like you are sitting.

''Circuit, you had to select

this college, didn't you!''

You should be proud that you are to be

a part of the 150-year-old institution.

''He's right here,

yapping about something.''

Which one of you wants to

be a good doctor?

Do you think you'll be

a good doctor?

''Why, what's special about you?''

l believe l can feel

the patients suffering.

''l want to treat them as friends,

not just as patients.''

ln my 25-year career l haven't

befriended a single patient.

''l have not felt their pain,

just cured it.''

See this hand...Rock steady.

''lt's done thousands of operations,

but it never shook.''

''But if l were to operate on

my daughter, it will shake for sure.''

Why? Because l love my daughter.

''Friendship, empathy, attachment-

these are weaknesses for a doctor.''

For the next five years...

''...you'll be taught that a patient

is just a sick body, nothing else.''

lf someone is dying outside the Casualty

Ward is it necessary to fill a form?

Your classes start tomorrow at 8:00 AM.

Thank you very much.

l don't get it!

How did he get so far?

''Dad, it's OK!

Why do you get so excited?''

l am not excited!

Do you know who he is?

A thug! The don of our area!

Hang on...

''he hasn't seen you here, has he?

- Yes, he did.''

Did he recognise you?

Of course not.

He's never seen me before.

He should never know that

you're my daughter. Understand?

Nobody should know that Suman

is my daughter!

''Brother, why do you want

to live in the hostel?''

''Excuse me bro, where is no. 12?

- Right here.''

What the...! This room

ends before it begins.

Do you know why God sent me

to this particular college?

God certainly didn't tell me.

''God said, ''Go, settle the score

with the man who made your father cry.''

''Right said, Brother.''

''You've discussed it with God,

then it's settled.''

''Fellas, move the stuff in.''

''Brother, l say we move this wall and

take over the next room -''

we'll get more space here.

Keep the TV on the table.

''Brother, lets break this wall too -

we'll move the neighbour and...''

''build you a nice, big bathroom,

jacuzzi...Here.''

Keep the bags down.

''Yo, buzzy-bee, move your bag.

The air conditioner goes there....''

''Refrigerator, here.''

''Brother, watch how

l jazz up this room.''

Excuse me.

Will you stay here as well?

''Yes, l'll sleep in the fridge.

Shut up!''

''Dump the tension, Circuit.''

''Yo, buzzy-bee, come here.''

What's your name?

- Nagarajan Swami

''Look Swami, relax! Grab a cold drink,

watch TV, and enjoy.''

What is mine is yours...

except for my underwear!

''Strip, then l'll tell you.

- Look, ragging is not allowed!''

Of course it's allowed.

Who said it isn't? Walk this way...

Shake it baby!

''Doctors, introduce yourselves!''

''l'm Dr. P.P. Ashok.

- Hey, black undy, come on!''

Dr. Mahesh Kriplani

''No, no, please! My pants!''

Hey! ls this ragging?

l'm Dr. Anil Davda

This is fun.

''Hey, l wanna do this too.''

l'm Dr. Murli Prasad Sharma.

What else?

- That's enough.

Ragging's over.

Hey 'dispensary'! Cut the crap.

''Brother said to rag him,

means you rag him.''

''Hey Swami, you rag'em.

l wanna watch.''

''Dump the tension, dude... l'm here.''

Have some chickpeas - they're

good for your bones. Lots of calcium.

Let me study. l came second

in the entrance exams.

How do you think

l got the first place...?

By eating chickpeas. Have some.

''l asked a question yesterday,

you haven't answered yet.''

C'mon dude!

How can a dying man be

expected to fill a form!

''And if he dies while filling it,

who's responsible?''

Say what!

Get out!

- Why 'get out'?

''l topped, and l paid the fees -

l ain't going nowhere!''

lf this man doesn't leave at once...

then there will be no more lectures

on Anatomy this year.

Munna! Go!

Go! Go!

Fine. Fine! l'll leave.

Why should anyone else lose out.

''Hey Swami...pay attention,

and teach me later.''

Gimme the chickpeas!

''Dump the tension, dude.

Have some chickpeas.''

''No? Cool, more for me.''

''Circuit, man, l really twisted

the dean's knickers today.''

He got pissed-off and

asked me to get out!

''l said, ''Why get out? l've paid

my fees.'' He was about to cry!''

Why are you making a racket?

- Why shouldn't l?

lt's my father-in-law's college;

l'll get it as dowry.

Why aren't you in class?

- My dear father-in-law...

''J dot Asthana, threw me out.''

''He's pissed-off, because l topped.''

You must have done something!

''l just asked a simple question,

he told me to beat it.''

''Both father and daughter are the same-

you speak politely, and...''

What did she do?

l made a small request:

that she keep quiet.

But she's like her father.

She busted me in front of my parents.

''Hang on, what's your name?''

Dr. Suman...dump the tension.

lt's a long story- some other time.

Gotta go now.

''Like l was saying,

the baldy was all flustered.''

This is the beginning.

You just wait and watch what l do.

''First, starting from the neck,

make an incision down the centre.''

Ew! lt stinks!

Out of the way! l can't see.

Why don't you get a body of your own.

Who dat?

- Your pop

Brother! How are you?

- l need a body.

''Whose body?

- Like, for dissection.''

''Brother, where do l find such a body?''

How would l know?

Just find one.

''Dump the tension, Brother.

You concentrate on your studies.''

l'll organize the body.

Brother! l found a body.

Will an imported one do?

- Yeah. Just get it quick.

''10 minutes, Brother.''

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