Munna Bhai M.B.B.S Page #5

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''Butkya, get a sack.

- Right away.''

''Yo, chilli chicken, wanna click

an ambulance. lt's a 5-star model.''

''Poor, hungry people -

They are inside the ambulance.''

''Bloody hakka noodle,

come in from abroad...''

''and only see naked, hungry people.

You don't see Taj Mahal,''

''Will this bag do, brother?''

Will l fold him and then fit him

in this? How tall are you?

''Get a 6-feet bag

You, come with me.''

You don't want to see Taj Mahal?

l'll show you hungry lndian.

''Very nice. Get in, son of a...''

''Brother, check it out,

we've got the body.''

Absolutely fresh.

Where did you find him?

He was standing

right outside the house.

lt's a ghost!

- You?

What was l to do?

''There are 50 students to a body,

you can't see diddly-squat!''

All l've seen in four days

is the fingers.

''l wanna be a complete doctor,

not a finger specialist...''

...who doesn't know what's up

with the knees.

''And he said, ''get your own body''.''

''He wants a body to himself,

so give it to him.''

He wishes to learn.

What's wrong with that?

''Now, please show me... heart,

kidneys, lungs, intestines.''

lt's not a dagger.

Hold it like a pen. Take your time.

''Admit him, and let him know

that l filled in his form.''

He's conscious.

''Brother, what happened to you?''

Nothing. l didn't eat last night...

woke up early for the dean's lecture...

and l forgot to have breakfast....

And there was water

on the marble floor...

''Nobody cleans up around here...

lt's very dangerous, Ms. Suman.''

lt happens. Rest.

''How are you now?

- l'm fine, ma'am. How's our hero?''

l don't know. This was his

second attempt at suicide.

And he won't talk to anyone.

''Dump the tension, ma'am.

Where is he?''

''Your mom is crying in front of you,

aren't you ashamed?''

Don't scold him.

- Why not!

''You wanna die?

Then do it right, finish it.''

Sleeping pills are a half measure.

Take a knife to your throat

and slit it.

''Till then, don't pity yourself.

- l don't pity myself!''

''Murli, lie down.

- Hang on, Ms. Suman.''

Kids today don't

have an ounce of courage.

''And you've spoilt him, ma'am,

hanging on every teardrop of his.''

He has to toughen up.

- Please be quiet.

You don't know what l've been through!

- What?

Failed your exams?

Got dumped by a girl?

Strapped for cash?

''A girl! Got dumped, right?''

''Hey, Circuit, who'd marry

such a cry baby?''

Was out to kill himself

over a six-month romance.

Your mom's loved you for years;

can't you stay alive for her?

What do you know about love?

- True.

''What does a goon like me

know about love,''

Loaf around to kill time

''Eat and drink, five to nine!

l'm fine!''

So why fall in love? Why?

''But then one day,

Sophia walked my way''

''My head was in a strange condition,

my heart revved without ignition''

''Dude, what a face!! ...

and whatchamacallit ...''

yeah - tresses! What tresses!

She moved like the wind...

''traffic stopped

if her eyes just blinked''

''l thought l'd found my home, said''

''Dude, l found my love,

my church in Rome!''

''All day l'd stand

underneath her window''

''No fights, no brawls''

''No squabbles with Aziz,

no scraps with Usman...''

l was numb!

She was the one...

you didn't whistle...

''at the one, our eyes met...''

you didn't wink at

''My buddies looked like

they'd been bombed''

''Said, Dude, please don't tell us

you've reformed!''

''Then one day Kallan

saw her and said''

''Woah! Look!

She's a perfect eleven!''

l lost my head...

and said...

''Come here punk,

l'll show you heaven''

''He got washed,

rinsed and dry cleaned that day''

''Still runs away like l'm

a bad omen, his doomsday!''

Then what happened to Sophia?

''Then one day,

she looked at me and smiled''

''l thought Dude, she smiled,

my case is filed''

Thought she like me too

''But she met someone else

and said ''l do'' ''

''She was married, it was undisputed''

''While l just stood there,

stricken and rooted''

That night l drank till 2 am

''Damn, l had but one dream,

one prayer''

''But l swear l didn't shed

a single tear''

Why cry? lt was a stupid high!

''Next day it was back to life

back to reality''

''Loaf around to kill time; eating,

smoking, drinking wine!''

''Clashed with Aziz again,

nearly killed him too''

''They said forget her,

but ''no can do''

''My dreams were shattered,

my heart was too''

''Yes it hurt..

but that's life, dude!''

Then ... then what happened?

''What could happen?

Next day...''

Pamela walked my way

''My head was in a strange condition,

my heart revved without ignition''

''Dude, what a face!!''

''And oh, what eyes!''

''Hey Munna, did the traffic

in your heart just sigh?!''

He has smiled after so many days.

l think he'll be fine.

lt was nothing. Don't mention it.

''Murli, why do you bug everyone?''

''lt seems you're here to

irritate people, and not to study.''

''Not everyone, just Asthana.''

He and his daughter.... Never mind.

Chinki is innocent.

She didn't even know.

You know Chinki?

- Of course! She's a good friend.

lt wasn't her fault.

The maid told her father.

What could she do.

No wonder! l kept thinking how a

childhood buddy could tell on me.

''Ms. Suman, tell me,

like... How does she look?''

Why?

As a kid she was a big fatso! Now...?

Absolutely not!

l've seen her old picture.

She wasn't that fat.

- You're kidding me!

She once climbed a tree.

The branch broke!

''How is she now?

l mean, how does she look?''

Not too bad.

As good as you?

Better than me.

- Woah!

''Ms. Suman, you have to make

her meet me.''

Dr.Asthana will kill her.

- That son of a...

''We'll meet secretly.

You're her friend, please help.''

Why?

Say what?

- Why should l?

Fine. But only if you promise not

to bug any of the professors.

Deal!

l'll think about it.

Now observe closely.

Such interesting cases are rare.

The subject has been in this

condition for 12 years.

''He can't speak, hear, understand,

or feel anything.''

His senses are all dead.

He's a vegetable.

Now see...

''if you observe closely,

when l shine a light into the eyes...''

''the pupils contract,

but the subject doesn't blink.''

''Yo, boss! Hello!

Turn off the torch!''

Why?

- That must cause him discomfort.

Out of the question!

The subject can't feel anything.

Say what - 'subject'?

Doesn't he have a name?

His name is Anand Banerjee.

''And he's many years your senior,

talk respectfully about him.''

Why are you getting emotional?

l told you he can't hear a thing.

''Relax! Sit down.

- Munna, sit down!''

''ln your medical careers, you'll face

this question many times.''

''Tell me, is it right to keep a

vegetable alive by using medicines...''

especially in a country where

there is a shortage of hospitals;

the subject has been occupying a

bed for the last 12 years.

Screw you!

You're concerned about the bed!

How do you know he won't wake up?

l'm a doctor.

- But not God.

Did you get inside his head?

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