Munnabhai Mbbs Page #5

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Why are you making a racket?

- Why shouldn''t l?

lt''s my father-in-law''s college;

l''ll get it as dowry.

Why aren''t you in class?

- My dear father-in-law...

''''J dot Asthana, threw me out.''''

''''He''s pissed-off, because l topped.''''

You must have done something!

''''l just asked a simple question,

he told me to beat it.''''

''''Both father and daughter are the

same- you speak politely, and...''''

What did she do?

l made a small request: that she keep quiet.

But she''s like her father.

She busted me in front of my parents.

''''Hang on, what''s your name?''''

Dr. Suman...dump the tension.

lt''s a long story- some other time.

Gotta go now.

''''Like l was saying, the

baldy was all flustered.''''

This is the beginning.

You just wait and watch what l do.

''''First, starting from the neck,

make an incision down the centre.''''

Ew! lt stinks!

Out of the way! l can''t see.

Why don''t you get a body of your own.

Who dat?

- Your pop

Brother! How are you?

- l need a body.

''''Whose body?

- Like, for dissection.''''

''''Brother, where do l find such a body?''''

How would l know?

Just find one.

''''Dump the tension, Brother.

You concentrate on your studies.''''

l''ll organize the body.

Brother! l found a body.

Will an imported one do?

- Yeah. Just get it quick.

''''10 minutes, Brother.''''

''''Butkya, get a sack.

- Right away.''''

''''Yo, chilli chicken, wanna click an

ambulance. lt''s a 5-star model.''''

''''Poor, hungry people -

They are inside the ambulance.''''

''''Bloody hakka noodle,

come in from abroad...''''

''''and only see naked, hungry people.

You don''t see Taj Mahal,''''

''''Will this bag do, brother?''''

Will l fold him and then fit

him in this? How tall are you?

''''Get a 6-feet bag

You, come with me.''''

You don''t want to see Taj Mahal?

l''ll show you hungry lndian.

''''Very nice. Get in, son of a...''''

''''Brother, check it out, we''ve got the body.''''

Absolutely fresh.

Where did you find him?

He was standing right outside the house.

lt''s a ghost!

- You?

What was l to do?

''''There are 50 students to a body,

you can''t see diddly-squat!''''

All l''ve seen in four days is the fingers.

''''l wanna be a complete doctor,

not a finger specialist...''''

...who doesn''t know what''s up with the knees.

''''And he said, ''''get your own body''''.''''

''''He wants a body to

himself, so give it to him.''''

He wishes to learn.

What''s wrong with that?

''''Now, please show me... heart,

kidneys, lungs, intestines.''''

lt''s not a dagger.

Hold it like a pen. Take your time.

''''Admit him, and let him

know that l filled in his form.''''

He''s conscious.

''''Brother, what happened to you?''''

Nothing. l didn''t eat last night...

woke up early for the dean''s lecture...

and l forgot to have breakfast....

And there was water on the marble floor...

''''Nobody cleans up around here...

lt''s very dangerous, Ms. Suman.''''

lt happens. Rest.

''''How are you now?

- l''m fine, ma''am. How''s our hero?''''

l don''t know. This was his

second attempt at suicide.

And he won''t talk to anyone.

''''Dump the tension, ma''am.

Where is he?''''

''''Your mom is crying in front

of you, aren''t you ashamed?''''

Don''t scold him.

- Why not!

''''You wanna die?

Then do it right, finish it.''''

Sleeping pills are a half measure.

Take a knife to your throat and slit it.

''''Till then, don''t pity yourself.

- l don''t pity myself!''''

''''Murli, lie down.

- Hang on, Ms. Suman.''''

Kids today don''t have an ounce of courage.

''''And you''ve spoilt him, ma''am,

hanging on every teardrop of his.''''

He has to toughen up.

- Please be quiet.

You don''t know what l''ve been through!

- What?

Failed your exams?

Got dumped by a girl?

Strapped for cash?

''''A girl! Got dumped, right?''''

''''Hey, Oircuit, who''d marry such a cry baby?''''

Was out to kill himself

over a six-month romance.

Your mom''s loved you for years;

can''t you stay alive for her?

What do you know about love?

- True.

''''What does a goon like me know about love,''''

Loaf around to kill time

''''Eat and drink, five to nine!

l''m fine!''''

So why fall in love? Why?

''''But then one day,

Sophia walked my way''''

''''My head was in a strange condition,

my heart revved without ignition''''

''''Dude, what a face!! ...

and whatchamacallit ...''''

yeah - tresses! What tresses!

She moved like the wind...

''''traffic stopped if her eyes just blinked''''

''''l thought l''d found my home, said''''

''''Dude, l found my love, my church in Rome!''''

''''All day l''d stand underneath her window''''

''''No fights, no brawls''''

''''No squabbles with Aziz,

no scraps with Usman...''''

l was numb!

She was the one...

you didn''t whistle...

''''at the one, our eyes met...''''

you didn''t wink at

''''My buddies looked like they''d been bombed''''

''''Said, Dude, please don''t

tell us you''ve reformed!''''

''''Then one day Kallan saw her and said''''

''''Woah! Look!

She''s a perfect eleven!''''

l lost my head...

and said...

''''Oome here punk,

l''ll show you heaven''''

''''He got washed, rinsed

and dry cleaned that day''''

''''Still runs away like l''m a

bad omen, his doomsday!''''

Then what happened to Sophia?

''''Then one day, she looked at me and smiled''''

''''l thought Dude, she smiled, my case is filed''''

Thought she like me too

''''But she met someone else and said ''''l do'''' ''''

''''She was married, it was undisputed''''

''''While l just stood there, stricken and rooted''''

That night l drank till 2 am

''''Damn, l had but one dream, one prayer''''

''''But l swear l didn''t shed a single tear''''

Why cry? lt was a stupid high!

''''Next day it was back to life back to reality''''

''''Loaf around to kill time;

eating, smoking, drinking wine!''''

''''Olashed with Aziz again,

nearly killed him too''''

''''They said forget her, but ''''no can do''''

''''My dreams were shattered,

my heart was too''''

''''Yes it hurt.. but that''s life, dude!''''

Then ... then what happened?

''''What could happen?

Next day...''''

Pamela walked my way

''''My head was in a strange condition,

my heart revved without ignition''''

''''Dude, what a face!!''''

''''And oh, what eyes!''''

''''Hey Munna, did the traffic

in your heart just sigh?!''''

He has smiled after so many days.

l think he''ll be fine.

lt was nothing. Don''t mention it.

''''Murli, why do you bug everyone?''''

''''lt seems you''re here to irritate

people, and not to study.''''

''''Not everyone, just Asthana.''''

He and his daughter.... Never mind.

Ohinki is innocent.

She didn''t even know.

You know Ohinki?

- Of course! She''s a good friend.

lt wasn''t her fault.

The maid told her father.

What could she do.

No wonder! l kept thinking how a

childhood buddy could tell on me.

''''Ms. Suman, tell me,

like... How does she look?''''

Why?

As a kid she was a big fatso! Now...?

Absolutely not!

l''ve seen her old picture.

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