Muppet Treasure Island

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I was Flint's first mate|that voyage...

three days east of Tortola|in the Caribie.

Flint knew an island.

That's where we buried|the treasure.

Gold and blood,|they were Flint's trademarks.

He'd leave both|behind him that day.

Shiver my timbers|Shiver my soul

Yo ho, heave ho

There are men whose hearts|are as black as coal

Yo ho, heave ho

And they sailed their ship|'cross the ocean blue

A bloodthirsty captain|and a cutthroat crew

It's as dark a tale|as was ever told

Of the lust for treasure|and the love of gold

Shiver my timbers|Shiver my sides

Yo ho, heave ho

There are hungers as strong|as the winds and tides

Yo ho, heave ho

And those buccaneers|drown their sins in rum

The devil himself would|have to call them scum

Every man aboard would have|killed his mate

For a bag of guineas|or a piece of eight

A piece of eight

- A piece of eight|- A five, six, seven, eight

Hulla wacka, ulla wacka|Something not right

Many wicked icky things|gonna happen tonight

Hulla wacka, moolah wacka|Sailor man beware

When de money in de ground|Dere's murder in de air

Murder in the air

One more time now.

Shiver my timbers|Shiver my bones

Yo ho, heave ho

There are secrets that sleep|with old Davy Jones

Yo ho, heave ho

When the mainsail's set|and the anchor's weighed

There's no turning back|from any course that's laid

And when greed and villainy|sail the sea

You can bet your boots|there'll be treachery

Shiver my timbers|Shiver my sails

Dead men tell no tales

Oh, aye. Fifteen men|went ashore that day...

and only Flint, his own self,|returned.

Oh, aye, and then old Flinty...

up and died afore they could get|back to that cursed island...

and dig up the treasure.

No one knows to this day|who has old Flint's map.

Now, isn't that a story|worth the hearing?

It was the first dozen|times we heard it.

I'll drink to that.

But who has|the map now, huh?

Some black-hearted,|squid-suckin' buccaneer?

Or maybe it's|our very own Jim Hawkins.

Eh,Jimmy?

If I had it, my friends and I wouldn't|be here serving you rum, Mr Bones.

That's right. We'd be out|searching for that treasure...

sailing the seven seas|on a five-year mission...

boldly going where no man|has gone before.

- Say, that's catchy.|- Huh. Not me.

If I had that treasure map,|I'd be tradin' it for a decent meal.

Hey, Gonzo, you think|he's gonna eat this?

Aye! Beware the one-legged man!|He's the one to fear!

Don't worry, Captain.|We'll watch for him.

Yeah, I'll watch for him,|if he's deliverin' a pizza.

Even old Flinty|feared him.

If he comes pokin' 'round here,|you run for me whippety-quick!

- If we see him, we'll tell you.|- Yeah. One leg, three heads...

couple of dozen noses...|if anything weird happens...

And it'll be nay|jokin' matter, hose nose.

The one-legged man|brings death.

Time, gentlemen!

It's closing time!

Ya pays your bills,|and then ya shove off.

Go on. Out ya go!

Oh, you're drunk again,|are ya?

Boys, look at the state|of this place!

How comes it gets to be|such a pigsty, huh?

Pigsty? Hey!

No offence meant, gentlemen, sirs.|No offence meant.

- Here's to you, boys!|- Time!

- I'm away to my room.|- Thank you, Mr Bones.

- Thank you, Bill.|- There you go!

Don't forget to come back tomorrow|for our lunchtime special:

- roast suckling...|- Huh?

- Potatoes, sir. Potatoes.|- All right.

No... No offence, madam.|No offence.

All right, boys.

When you're finished here,|you can go and clean up in the kitchen.

I left some table scraps|in there for your supper.

Oh, yes, and, boys...

last night you forgot|to put out the lantern!

If you forget that again,|there'll be no table scraps for a week!

You're standing on my ear.

Easy. Whoa, whoa, whoa!|Easy, Rizzo!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!|That's it. Steady.

- I hate my life.|- I hate your life too.

- If I had a life, I'd hate it.|- I should just run off to sea like my father did.

He was my age when he sailed to China as|a cabin boy and he wound up a first mate.

Run off to sea|and just leave everybody?

Who's everybody?|I'm an orphan. I've got no family.

- Hey, you got us!|- Yeah, we're family. Got it.

I mean, some family we are. Be serious,|Rizzo. We don't exactly look alike.

Okay, all right. So I'm a rat and you're|a human being and Gonzo's a, uh...

- Whatever.|- Yeah. We're still family.

- Yeah.|- But I wish my life were more like...

one of Captain Bones'|adventures...

sailing the high seas and|searching for buried treasure.

Yeah, discovering lost islands|and weird civilizations.

Navigating with my father's old compass|to wherever the wind may take us.

- Off to Zanzibar to meet the Zanzibarbarians.|- Here they go again.

To the southwest,|pirate galleons!

To the southeast, multi-armed|Zanzibanian shark women...

and their exploding wigs|of death!

To the northwest,|dirty dishes!

How does she do that?

- Might as well start. I'll wash.|- Oh, yeah. I'll dry.

I'll break.

I look around here|and I want to cry

Me too. Yeah.

I feel like the world|is passing me by

It is.

And I just can't|help but wonder

Am I doomed to wash and dry

And is it a curse I'm under|to do it till I die

- Oh, I hope not.|- Yeah.

- When I could be an explorer|- Sure ya could.

- Sailing off to distant lands|- Not so fast.

Instead of spending|every afternoon

Just getting dishpan hands

My future looks like nowhere|that I want to be

There's gotta be|something better

Something better

There's gotta be something|better than this for me

Well, now you're talkin'.

If it's weird and wild|let's go and find it

The crazier, the better|is what I say

Yeah, that's true.

To tell the truth|I really wouldn't mind it

Mind what?

If we found someplace|with ten square meals a day

Let danger call my name

If it does|I'm gonna hide

I'll put my courage|to the test

And I'll be|by your side

He'll be by your side

There's gotta be|something better than this

- Something more than this|- I know that there's so much out there

- To see|- To see

And I know|this life I'm living

Can't be my destiny

There's gotta be|something better

Something better

There's gotta be something|better than this for me

- And me!|- Wait a minute. What about me?

There's something better|than this for you and

Me

Enough of this singin'!

Rum! I need rum, lads!

I got the horrors!|Give me rum!

Rum till I float!

All right! All right!|Just one small one.

Don't be giving him|any more rum!

How does she blooming do that?

Shh! Shh!

Billy Bones!|It's me, Blind Pew.

I know you're here, Billy.

Ya snivelling coward!

It's some kind|of a blind fiend.

I believe they prefer|"visually challenged fiend. "

Ah, I heard that!|There's someone here!

Uh, no. Over here!

Hmm, over here.

Billy Bones! Ah,|I'd know that scurvy mug...

of yours anywhere.

Excuse me, sir,|but the bar is closed.

Aha. A pretty|little girl, is it?

Yes. Take me|to Billy Bones, my pet.

Y- You've come|to the wrong place.

Th-There's no Billy Bones here,|and I'm not a girl.

Oh, I may be visually challenged,|but I can see you're lying.

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