Muppet Treasure Island Page #2

Synopsis: The Muppets are back into action in another movie based on a novel written by Robert Louis Stevenson. Kermit the Frog and his colleagues go on a warfare against ruthless pirates. They also share their problem-solving journey on sea to rescue a treasure.
Director(s): Brian Henson, David Lane
Production: Buena Vista
  4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
70%
G
Year:
1996
99 min
2,395 Views


Huh?

Good evening, Bill.|I know it's you.

Yes. You thought you could|get away with it, didn't you?

Just take it all|for yourself...

and leave your shipmates|with nothing.

We're not pleased with that,|Bill. Not at all.

We want you to have this!

Watch where you're going,|you stupid cat!

The Black Spot!

But I don't understand.|What is the Black Spot?

The Black Spot's|a pirate's death sentence!

- Fabulous.|- They'll be comin' to kill me tonight!

- We'd better help.|- Yeah, yeah, let's get some stuff.

- It's my sea chest them lubbers want.|- Underwear.

But I'll trick them! I'll shake out|another reef and daddle 'em again!

You wanna run that by us again|in English, Mr Bones?

It's mine! I'm goin'|for that treasure myself!

And no one-legged|son of a bilge rat will...

Captain Bones!

He died? And this is supposed|to be a kids' movie.

Jimmy. Jim.|Jimmy,Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.

You always been a decent sort|to old Billy Bones.

But I'm not Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,|Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.

He's Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,|Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.

- Jim!|- Yes, Captain.

Jim,Jimmy,Jimmy,Jim,|Jim,Jim,Jim.

- Yes, Captain. What is it?|- Take the map!

- What map?|- The map to old Flint's treasure!

Don't ya understand|what I been tellin' ya?

I was Flinty's first mate!|We all were! Blind Pew and me!

Me own shipmates,|they'll gully me for sure!

And anybody else to get|their mitts on that map!

A- And gullying hurts, right?

Oh, aye! A lot!

- So quick.|- Go to my sea chest! Get the map!

Oh, yeah.

- Oh, there. There.|- Oh, I think I've... Oh, no.

- Hey, guys, look!|- Rizzo!

Oh, here!|How about this?

Let's see.

Hey, Rizzo, look.

- It is a treasure map.|- We're gonna be rich.

- We're gonna be dead.|- Beware, lads!

Beware!

- What? The one-legged man?|- Aye! But also...

beware runnin' with scissors|or any other pointy objects.

It's all good fun till|somebody loses an...

Captain?

We're standing in a room|with a dead guy!

Jim!

Oh, Billy Bones!|Trick or treat!

Don't try to hide, Billy!|You know what we want!

Where are ya, Billy Bones?|Where are ya, Billy?

Mrs Bluveridge!

There's no use in hiding!

Can't a woman get her|beauty sleep any more?

Jim, what you doing?

Aha! Aha!

Oh! Voila!

- Okay, okay. I found the gun.|- Oh, now we gotta load it.

- Okay.|- Oops.

Okay, where does Mrs Bluveridge|keep the bullets?

Billy's dead, and he hasn't|got the blooming map!

- Those little girls must have it.|- Yeah!

- Get them!|- Yeah!

- Gonzo! Gonzo!|- What? What?

I found the bullets. See?|Here they are. They...

Oops.

Open up in there!|We wants the map...

and we'll skewer anybody|who gets in the way!

Quick,Jim! The back stairs!

Come on.

Run! Run!

Get out of my inn,|you tattooed miseries!

Can't a woman|get a night's sleep alone?

You come here, you!

This gun is useless!

- You lost all the bullets!|- Well, you're losin' the powder.

The map!|Tell us where it is or die!

- Get them!|- Run! Run, run, run!

Hurry! Hurry!

Hurry!

Outta the way! Outta the way!|Get outta the way!

Stop!

Oh, Woof.

Geronimo!

Guys!

Wow! What an exit!

- Right through a brick wall!|- I am in such pain.

Come on!

I think I smell|something burning, no?

What are we gonna do?|What are we gonna do?

We can't go home, so...

Oh, no. Uh-uh. No way. You're not|taking me on some crazy treasure hunt.

- I am staying right here!|- Oh, good idea, Rizzo.

Then you can see what half-burned,|vicious pirates look like.

What are we waitin' for?|Gimme that map. Come on. Let's go.

Wait a minute.|What about Mrs Bluveridge?

I'll be fine, boys!|Run for it!

How does she do that?

Who's gonna clean|all this up?

Two for a penny, sir?

- I don't want a baked potato.|- Lovely hot baked potatoes.

- Oh, let's see.|- What a night.

- There it is!|- Huh? Oh. - Oh.

"Trelawny & Son|Master Ship Builders"

Whoa, whoa!|Reality check here, guys!

Do we actually believe some|bozo's gonna give us a ship...

just because we show him|Captain Bones' map?

- It's worth a try, Rizzo.|- I don't know.

May I help you?

Yes. Thank you. We wish to speak|with Squire Trelawney, the shipbuilder.

- We need a ship.|- Ah, I'm sorry.

The squire's in Long Neddry|for the grouse season.

He will return|on the feast of St Lulu.

- Thank you. - That's|that. - Oh, well.

Of course, his rich...

half-wit son|young Squire Trelawney's here.

We'll see him, then.

Well, gentlemen...

this is definitely a genuine,|bona fide treasure map.

Really!

Yes. Mr Bimbo told me so.

Oh, Mr Bimbo lives in my finger.|He's very smart. He's been to the moon.

Thank you. Twice.

- I smell a bozo.|- Mm-hmm.

Well done, Beakie.

Now we know that is definitely|too much gunpowder.

Beaker, stop fooling around.|We've got company.

Oh, hello, chappies. Everyone, this is|Dr Livesey and his assistant, Beaker.

They do research|and development for my papa.

Hello.

Actually, Squire, we were|hoping to meet your father.

- We need a ship for an ocean voyage.|- Ocean? Ocean.

- Ocean?|- You know, the ocean? The big, blue, wet thing?

Oh! Th-The big,|blue, wet thing! Yes!

Say, I know|what's happening here.

You chaps are planning|to sail to this island, aren't you?

- To dig up this treasure.|- Yes, but we must be quiet about it.

- There are pirates looking for this map.|- Yeah, and they wanna kill us for it.

Isn't that exciting?

Pirates, eh?|Well, that settles it.

We'll use one|of my daddy's boats...

and I will personally finance|the voyage for the treasure myself.

- You'll do that? Really?|- What are rich, half-wit sons for?

Well, here's the dock.|Jim, where's our boat?

We're on a dock?|No wonder I'm seasick.

- Ahoy!|- Ah, morning, Squire.

Welcome. Welcome.|Ah, there she is:

the Hispaniola.

Wow!

- Come on. Let's go!|- Yeah, let's go.

- "Take a cruise," you said.|- Huh?

- "See the world," you said.|- Huh?

Now here we are stuck|on the front of this stupid ship.

Well, it could be worse.|We could be stuck in the audience.

Well, Mr Bimbo...

the ship is provisioned,|the crew is in place...

and the captain should be|on board within the hour.

You have been|a busy little man.

- Oh, look, there goes Jim.|- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ooh! Ooh, look!

It's the boat|steering thing.

This is called the helm.

Hey, how does it feel,|Captain Hawkins?

Feels like|we're really doing it.

It feels like we're finally|having an adventure!

Yeah. I'm starvin'.|Where's the kitchen?

Heigh ho and up she rises

- Something smells good.|- Heigh ho and up she rises

- Cool.|- Heigh ho and up she rises

Early in the morning

Put him in the longboat|until he's sober

Put him in the longboat|till he's sober

Early in the morning

What have we here?|Stowaways!

I'm afraid we shish-kebab|and barbecue stowaways on this ship.

Wait. I know.|You must be the cabin boys.

- Yeah.|- Hungry, lads?

Well, in my galley, you're always|welcome to help yourselves!

Yes! Thank you!

Oh, yes!

Well, he's got a healthy appetite.|How about you, funny face?

- Huh?|- Here.

Hey. Thank you.

My name is Gonzo,|and the guy in your chicken is Rizzo.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes

Jerry Juhl

Jerome Ravn Juhl (July 27, 1938 – September 26, 2005) was an American television and film writer, best known for his work with The Muppets. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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