Muppet Treasure Island Page #2
- G
- Year:
- 1996
- 99 min
- 2,562 Views
Huh?
Good evening, Bill.|I know it's you.
Yes. You thought you could|get away with it, didn't you?
Just take it all|for yourself...
and leave your shipmates|with nothing.
We're not pleased with that,|Bill. Not at all.
We want you to have this!
Watch where you're going,|you stupid cat!
The Black Spot!
But I don't understand.|What is the Black Spot?
The Black Spot's|a pirate's death sentence!
- Fabulous.|- They'll be comin' to kill me tonight!
- We'd better help.|- Yeah, yeah, let's get some stuff.
- It's my sea chest them lubbers want.|- Underwear.
But I'll trick them! I'll shake out|another reef and daddle 'em again!
You wanna run that by us again|in English, Mr Bones?
It's mine! I'm goin'|for that treasure myself!
And no one-legged|son of a bilge rat will...
Captain Bones!
He died? And this is supposed|to be a kids' movie.
Jimmy. Jim.|Jimmy,Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.
You always been a decent sort|to old Billy Bones.
But I'm not Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,|Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.
He's Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,|Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.
- Jim!|- Yes, Captain.
Jim,Jimmy,Jimmy,Jim,|Jim,Jim,Jim.
- Yes, Captain. What is it?|- Take the map!
- What map?|- The map to old Flint's treasure!
Don't ya understand|what I been tellin' ya?
I was Flinty's first mate!|We all were! Blind Pew and me!
Me own shipmates,|they'll gully me for sure!
And anybody else to get|their mitts on that map!
A- And gullying hurts, right?
Oh, aye! A lot!
- So quick.|- Go to my sea chest! Get the map!
Oh, yeah.
- Oh, there. There.|- Oh, I think I've... Oh, no.
- Hey, guys, look!|- Rizzo!
Oh, here!|How about this?
Let's see.
Hey, Rizzo, look.
- It is a treasure map.|- We're gonna be rich.
- We're gonna be dead.|- Beware, lads!
Beware!
- What? The one-legged man?|- Aye! But also...
beware runnin' with scissors|or any other pointy objects.
It's all good fun till|somebody loses an...
Captain?
We're standing in a room|with a dead guy!
Jim!
Oh, Billy Bones!|Trick or treat!
Don't try to hide, Billy!|You know what we want!
Where are ya, Billy Bones?|Where are ya, Billy?
Mrs Bluveridge!
There's no use in hiding!
Can't a woman get her|beauty sleep any more?
Jim, what you doing?
Aha! Aha!
Oh! Voila!
- Okay, okay. I found the gun.|- Oh, now we gotta load it.
- Okay.|- Oops.
Okay, where does Mrs Bluveridge|keep the bullets?
Billy's dead, and he hasn't|got the blooming map!
- Those little girls must have it.|- Yeah!
- Get them!|- Yeah!
- Gonzo! Gonzo!|- What? What?
I found the bullets. See?|Here they are. They...
Oops.
Open up in there!|We wants the map...
and we'll skewer anybody|who gets in the way!
Quick,Jim! The back stairs!
Come on.
Run! Run!
Get out of my inn,|you tattooed miseries!
Can't a woman|get a night's sleep alone?
You come here, you!
This gun is useless!
- You lost all the bullets!|- Well, you're losin' the powder.
The map!|Tell us where it is or die!
- Get them!|- Run! Run, run, run!
Hurry! Hurry!
Hurry!
Outta the way! Outta the way!|Get outta the way!
Stop!
Oh, Woof.
Geronimo!
Guys!
Wow! What an exit!
- Right through a brick wall!|- I am in such pain.
Come on!
I think I smell|something burning, no?
What are we gonna do?|What are we gonna do?
We can't go home, so...
Oh, no. Uh-uh. No way. You're not|taking me on some crazy treasure hunt.
- I am staying right here!|- Oh, good idea, Rizzo.
Then you can see what half-burned,|vicious pirates look like.
What are we waitin' for?|Gimme that map. Come on. Let's go.
Wait a minute.|What about Mrs Bluveridge?
I'll be fine, boys!|Run for it!
How does she do that?
Who's gonna clean|all this up?
Two for a penny, sir?
- I don't want a baked potato.|- Lovely hot baked potatoes.
- Oh, let's see.|- What a night.
- There it is!|- Huh? Oh. - Oh.
"Trelawny & Son|Master Ship Builders"
Whoa, whoa!|Reality check here, guys!
Do we actually believe some|bozo's gonna give us a ship...
just because we show him|Captain Bones' map?
- It's worth a try, Rizzo.|- I don't know.
May I help you?
Yes. Thank you. We wish to speak|with Squire Trelawney, the shipbuilder.
- We need a ship.|- Ah, I'm sorry.
The squire's in Long Neddry|for the grouse season.
He will return|on the feast of St Lulu.
- Thank you. - That's|that. - Oh, well.
Of course, his rich...
half-wit son|young Squire Trelawney's here.
We'll see him, then.
Well, gentlemen...
this is definitely a genuine,|bona fide treasure map.
Really!
Yes. Mr Bimbo told me so.
Oh, Mr Bimbo lives in my finger.|He's very smart. He's been to the moon.
Thank you. Twice.
- I smell a bozo.|- Mm-hmm.
Well done, Beakie.
Now we know that is definitely|too much gunpowder.
Beaker, stop fooling around.|We've got company.
Oh, hello, chappies. Everyone, this is|Dr Livesey and his assistant, Beaker.
They do research|and development for my papa.
Hello.
Actually, Squire, we were|hoping to meet your father.
- We need a ship for an ocean voyage.|- Ocean? Ocean.
- Ocean?|- You know, the ocean? The big, blue, wet thing?
Oh! Th-The big,|blue, wet thing! Yes!
Say, I know|what's happening here.
You chaps are planning|to sail to this island, aren't you?
- To dig up this treasure.|- Yes, but we must be quiet about it.
- There are pirates looking for this map.|- Yeah, and they wanna kill us for it.
Isn't that exciting?
Pirates, eh?|Well, that settles it.
We'll use one|of my daddy's boats...
and I will personally finance|the voyage for the treasure myself.
- You'll do that? Really?|- What are rich, half-wit sons for?
Well, here's the dock.|Jim, where's our boat?
We're on a dock?|No wonder I'm seasick.
- Ahoy!|- Ah, morning, Squire.
Welcome. Welcome.|Ah, there she is:
the Hispaniola.
Wow!
- Come on. Let's go!|- Yeah, let's go.
- "Take a cruise," you said.|- Huh?
- "See the world," you said.|- Huh?
Now here we are stuck|on the front of this stupid ship.
Well, it could be worse.|We could be stuck in the audience.
Well, Mr Bimbo...
the ship is provisioned,|the crew is in place...
and the captain should be|on board within the hour.
You have been|a busy little man.
- Oh, look, there goes Jim.|- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ooh! Ooh, look!
It's the boat|steering thing.
This is called the helm.
Hey, how does it feel,|Captain Hawkins?
Feels like|we're really doing it.
It feels like we're finally|having an adventure!
Yeah. I'm starvin'.|Where's the kitchen?
Heigh ho and up she rises
- Something smells good.|- Heigh ho and up she rises
- Cool.|- Heigh ho and up she rises
Early in the morning
Put him in the longboat|until he's sober
Put him in the longboat|till he's sober
Early in the morning
What have we here?|Stowaways!
I'm afraid we shish-kebab|and barbecue stowaways on this ship.
Wait. I know.|You must be the cabin boys.
- Yeah.|- Hungry, lads?
Well, in my galley, you're always|welcome to help yourselves!
Yes! Thank you!
Oh, yes!
Well, he's got a healthy appetite.|How about you, funny face?
- Huh?|- Here.
Hey. Thank you.
My name is Gonzo,|and the guy in your chicken is Rizzo.
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"Muppet Treasure Island" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/muppet_treasure_island_14230>.
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