Muppet Treasure Island Page #3

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- And you must be Master Hawkins.|- Yes, sir.

Oh, you needn't be callin'|a lowly ship's cook "sir. "

Long John Silver,|at your humble service.

We're just cabin boys,|Mr Silver.

Long John to his friends.

And believe me, lad...

a friend you can trust|is worth his weight in gold.

There's many a dark-hearted|scoundrel in these ports.

Well, what do you mean?|Pirates?

- Shh!|- Pirates! That's rich!

Pirates? What an imagination.|Give me a cracker.

Allow me to introduce|my pet lobster Polly.

Pieces of eight!|Pieces of eight!

Raised him|from a fingerling, I did.

As fine a crustacean|as a man could ask for.

B- But I thought sailors|had talking parrots as pets.

Talking parrots?

What an imagination.|First pirates, now talking parrots?

What's next? A singing, dancing mouse|with his own amusement park?

That's enough now, Polly.|Go on! Shoo!

Right, me hearties. I'm gonna give you|a cook's tour of this fine ship.

If you're gonna be the cook|on this ship, Mr Silver...

I am definitely gonna need|bigger pants.

What's the matter, lads?

Oh, that?

Lost that timber-fighting brigands|off Madagascar under Admiral Hawke.

There's many a man lost a leg and worse|in the service of the king.

Why, look what a cannibal|took off me...

in exchange for me own life.

Oh, you're a fine pair, lads.|That you are.

Bright as buttons,|the lot of ye.

- All hands on deck!|- Come on, then, lads.

Chop-chop! Look lively now.|The captain will be here soon.

Chop-chop.

- Who's that?|- That is Mr Arrow, the first mate, a capital fellow.

The captain approaches.

Move aside! Make way!|Make ready for the captain!

Lollygaggers will suffer|his wrath!

Wrath? I-Is this captain|bad-tempered?

Is he bad-tempered?|The man is a raging volcano...

tormented by inner demons the likes|of which mere mortals cannot fathom.

He's got demons? Cool!

Maniac!

Heigh-ho, everyone.

- What... That...|- That's the raging volcano?

- He's a frog.|- Maybe he gets hopping mad.

Hopping mad.

Piping aboard|Captain Abraham Smollett.

Good day, Mr Arrow.

I knew it.|He's furious.

- Ah, you there!|- Me?

You were in charge of railing dust.|Thirty lashes, and then you walk the plank.

- I didn't say that, Mr Arrow.|- I was anticipating your whim, sir.

Oh. You must be|the cabin boys.

- Yes, sir!|- Which one of you is Hawkins?

I am, sir.

I knew your father,Jim.|He was a good man.

Thank you, sir.

Well, this is shapin' up|to be a fine voyage, lads.

Oh, yes, indeed.

One leg,Jim.|Count 'em. One.

- Remember what Billy Bones said.|- Oh, Gonzo, he seems all right.

I mean, Long John's only a cook.|How dangerous could he be?

Well, I don't know, but I...|Wait a minute. Where's Rizzo?

Enjoy your cruise, sir.|Next!

All right, folks, have your cheques|made out to "Rat Tours Limited. "

Remember, we put|the rat in "pirate. "

Why, thank you,|Mr Plagueman. Next!

- Rizzo, what are you doing?|- What? Oh, this.

Well, I figure|if the treasure map's a dud...

the trip won't be a total loss,|financially speaking.

Well, the wind seems to be freshening.|The tide is with us.

Mr Arrow,|this voyage has begun.

This voyage has begun!|Raise the gangplank!

- Right, lads!|- Let go forward line!

Let go aft line.|Hard to starboard.

Any man caught dawdling|will be shot on sight.

- I didn't say that.|- I was just paraphrasing.

- Mr Arrow, just set the sails.|- Set the sails!

Hey, where's my camera?

- I'll miss you! I said I'll miss you!|- We'll send postcards!

- Goodbye!|- Goodbye!

When the course is laid|and the anchor's weighed

A sailor's blood|begins racing

With our hearts unbound|and our flag unfurled

We're underway and off|to see the world

Underway and off|to see the world

Heave ho, we'll go

Anywhere the wind|is blowing

Manly men are we

Sailing for adventure|on the deep blue sea

Safely now, Mr Silver. Let's not|get sloppy just because we're singing.

- Aye, aye, sir.|- Danger walks on deck We say what the heck

We laugh at the perils|we're facing

Every storm we ride|is its own reward

And people die|by fallin'overboard

People die|by falling overboard

Heigh ho, we'll go

Anywhere the wind|is blowing

Hoist the sails and sing

Sailing for adventure|on the big, blue, wet thing

I love to see 'em cry|when they walk the plank

I prefer to cut a throat

I love to hang 'em high|and watch their little feet

Try to walk in the air|while their faces turn blue

Just kidding.

It's a good life on a boat

There are distant lands|with burning sands

That call across the oceans

There are bingo games|every fun-filled day

And margaritas|at the midnight buffet

Margaritas|at the midnight buffet

Heigh ho, we'll go

Anywhere the wind|is blowing

Should have took a train

Sailing for adventure|on the bounding main

The salty breezes whisper

Who knows what lies ahead

I just know|I was born to lead

The life my father led

The stars will be|our compass

Wherever we may roam

And our mates|will always be

Just like a family

And though we may|put into port

The sea is always home

All right, Mr Bimbo. I didn't know you|had such a good singing voice. Thank you.

We'll chase our dreams|standing on our own

Over the horizon|to the great unknown

Heigh ho, we'll go

Anywhere the wind|is blowing

Bold and brave and free

- Sailing for adventure|- It's so nauseating!

- Sailing for adventure|- So exhilarating!

- Sailing for adventure|- We're all celebrating!

On the deep blue sea

Ahoy!

Roll call!

- Long John Silver?|- Aye, aye, sir!

- Short Stack Stevens?|- Aye!

- One-Eyed Jack?|- Aye!

- Black-Eyed Pea.|- Yeah.

- Walleyed Pike.|- Aye.

Polly Lobster.

- Mad Monty.|- Aye.

- Sweetums.|- Aye.

- Old Tom.|- Aye, aye.

- Real Old Tom.|- Aye.

- Dead Tom?|- Aye, aye.

Cool.

- Clueless Morgan?|- Huh?

Headless Bill.

Big-Fat-Ugly-Bug-Face-|Baby-Eating O'Brien?

Aye.

- Angel Marie.|- Aye, aye.

Gentlemen, may I see you|in my cabin?

- Immediately?|- Mm-hmm.

Who hired this crew? This is|undoubtedly the seediest bunch...

of cutthroats, villains|and scoundrels I have ever seen!

So who hired 'em?

Your finger hired the crew?

No, that's silly. The man who lives|in my finger hired the crew: Mr Bimbo.

What? Ah!

Yeah, he relied heavily on the advice|of our excellent cook, Long John Silver.

A cook? And a guy who lives|in a bear's finger?

Exactly!

I'm starting to worry|about this voyage.

Jim, I know Billy Bones|gave you the treasure map...

but I hope you'll give it|to me for safekeeping.

I'll be careful with it, sir.

Beggin' your pardon,|gentlemen...

but I've come with a bit|of a treat for you.

'Tis my very own best brandy...

laid down by the brothers|of Buckfast Abbey...

vintage 1737...

to toast|to a prosperous voyage.

- Oh, spiffy.|- I'm sorry, Mr Silver, but I'm not...

going to allow drinking|on this voyage.

- Oh, well, rules are rules.|- Oh, but, sir...

'tis a tradition for the officers|to toast to the success of a voyage.

Ah, very true.

No, we must set an example|for this questionable crew.

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