Muppets from Space Page #2
Who did this?
This is not good.
Poor guy. He's hallucinating.
Getting weird messages.
Hearing things.
He listens to voices
and does what they say.
Hold your horseshoes.
I think I've got an idea.
You're scary.
I have to call Luft.
Wait. Careful.
Careful.
Baby steps.
Baby steps.
We need more evidence.
More evidence.
Remember, we're just watching.
Watching.
- And waiting.
- Waiting.
Build it and we will come.
Build what?
Build a Jacuzzi...
...and we will come, okay.
I'm up. I'm up.
Must build Jacuzzi.
- Well done, pal.
- Gracias, amigo.
Put a little more paprika
on those, okay? Thank you.
Well, that's everything.
- He built it.
- And we came!
Remember, I built this new
Jacuzzi for my alien family...
...so no eating in the spa.
We gotta tell him the truth, Pepe.
You tell him...
...and I will smack you.
I will smack you like
a bad, bad donkey, okay.
- Sal.
- Yeah, Johnny.
There are no cannolis.
Yeah, but try this cake.
This is a beauty.
That is nice. Would you...
Gonzo!
Go easy on the buffet, fellas.
I just want...
Who cut the cake? Who cut the cake?
- Who cut it?
- Look at that.
- Who cut this cake?
- That's awful. They would've done...
I can't believe it. The guests
of honor aren't even here yet.
Hey, great party!
I just wish they'd get here.
Hey, you! Did you cut Gonzo's cake?
I wonder if there is life
on other planets.
What do you care?
You don't have a life on this planet.
Are you ready?
The Galaxy Channel presents...
...UFO Mania Live, with
close-encounter expert Shelley Snipes.
Hello, I'mShelley Snipes.
Coming up on UFO Mania Live...
... I'll be taking a hard look
at some compelling new data.
Have you seen something in the sky
but were afraid to talk about it?
I don't understand why
they didn't show up.
Well, perhaps we can be of assistance.
I think we can help you contact
your alien brethren...
...by boosting your newly enhanced
conductivity.
Okay, Beakie. Let her rip.
Wait a minute.
I think I'm picking up a signal.
If you've had contact
with an alien...
... or if you are an alien
and want to tell your story...
... write to us or come to our studio.
Come to our studio
at 6577 Broadcast Lane now.
The mother ship is calling me home!
Thanks, guys.
The mother ship! It worked.
The mother ship!
Good, good, good. Beaker?
You said you going to tell him, okay.
The Jacuzzi thing was your idea,
and you have to tell him.
S, I will tell him, okay.
- They're calling me!
- Here he comes.
I can't talk now, guys.
- You should've told him.
- I wasn't supposed to!
- You said you'd tell him.
- I said, you!
Hi, guys. I'm here.
in front, okay?
And that's the way it is.
This is Miss Piggy saying
good night and have a great...
Where's my coffee?
I'm coming! Coming!
- I'll take one.
- In a minute.
Light, no sugar.
Shelley's stuck at the airport.
She won't make it on time.
Okay, I am not gonna panic.
Who am I kidding? Yes, I am.
No, I'm not.
Okay, I'm panicking. Who can we
possibly get at the last minute? Who?
Cappuccino?
Stand by, everybody.
Roll tape, please.
And cue I.D.
We're on in five... four... three... two...
Look! It's Piggy's new show.
Read! Read!
"Hello again. I'm Shelley Snipes."
Today on UFO Mania: Flying saucers...
...and their extraterrestrial pilots.
- Wish I could find my pants.
- You should come to see this.
"I'msure you've often wondered...
... What might those alien creatures
look like?"
People of Earth, do not be alarmed.
My message will be brief.
I am Gonzo.
I don't have a Gonzo.
There seems to be some mistake.
Dang!
You better get down there, Kerm.
Relax. No one is going anywhere, okay?
You see, I was contacted through
my breakfast cereal...
... and it was confirmed
by the cosmic fish...
... that I amfromouter space.
So you wanna go now
orwait forthe commercial?
Now. Come on.
What are you doing here?
I'm making contact.
What are you doing?
Interview him.
I'm interviewing...
I'm interviewing you!
Great! What would you like to know?
The whole tearful tale
of your inner struggle, Gonzo.
I want my people to know I've received
their messages, and my response is...
... I am here.
"I am here."
Bingo.
I'mat 44 Bronson Lane,
and I can't wait to meet you.
And I can't wait to meet you.
Me too. He's very charismatic,
don't you think?
Freeze that!
- I want him here and I want him now.
- Yes, sir.
So you're ourfancy little landscaper.
We're gonna take a break.
We are going to pause,
and we'll be back with Gonzo...
...the geek who fell to Earth...
...with moi, Miss...
- And we're out.
Ninety seconds, folks.
Now that is TV.
The phones are lighting up like Vegas.
What power! You're a hit!
Thank you.
Not you. Him.
- Me?
- You've got it.
Sure wish we could find a cure.
What's going on?
Listen, aren't you taking
this alien thing a little too far?
Kermit, I realize that it may be hard
for you to accept me as an alien...
...but I didn't choose to be one.
Well, I've always had
alien tendencies.
This just makes sense.
Beautiful, big G.
- I see a follow-up episode here.
- Me too.
"The Alien In My Life."
A Miss Piggy special report.
What? You're the coffee pig.
Kermit, he's such a joker.
We'll take this from here.
We're with the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Aliens.
We feel your pain.
They feel my pain.
I got a paper cut that's a doozy.
You feel my pain too?
Can you help me make contact
with my alien tribe?
Yes, we can, Gonzo.
Somebody believes me.
Come on, fellas.
Take me to my leader.
I don't like the look of them.
This rat smells a rat.
The limo's right this way.
Did he say limo?
Wait, I'm his translator.
Wait!
You know this Gonzo, right?
- If the price is right.
- The price?
Look.
I deliver Gonzo's exclusive
live story, okay...
...if you make moi
your new anchorwoman.
We're back in 15 seconds.
- What about Shelley?
- Shelley's smelly!
- Yes, yes! Go.
- All right!
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Hey, studmuffin, hold it.
I'll deal with her.
You'll deal with moi.
Look, chumpo, I'm just trying to
get a story.
How about this story?
It's about a big bad wolf
and a little pig.
No, that's three pigs, okay?
Not in this version.
Wait a minute. You're not part of
that alien-protection agency.
Who are you?
Where are you taking Gonzo?
I'm impressed.
Black belt, third degree.
Platinum belt,
with an unlimited line of credit.
I like this party.
Tough guy. Tough guy!
Come on. Show me!
Look! Cindy Crawford.
Where have you been all my life?
Is that all you got?
Is that all you got?
Not the noogie!
Mama!
What the hey?
Gonzo! Gonzo! Gonzo!
There are no aliens here.
Only good, old-fashioned,
hard-working Americans.
Good grief.
Now get off my Kentucky bluegrass.
Look! It's a little green man.
Excuse me, but what are
all you people doing here?
We were drawn here by the alien.
That's all I know.
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"Muppets from Space" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/muppets_from_space_14231>.
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