Muppets from Space Page #3

So let me get this straight now.

This government agency, C.O.V.N.E.T.,

has abducted Gonzo...

...and taken him

to its top-secret facility?

Yes, Miss Piggy.

Thank you.

You've been most helpful.

At last! A real story.

Intrigue, danger, new outfits.

And it's mine, mine, mine!

All mine!

Come on, please. You think

Ted Koppel never gets excited?

So this is the carthat

takes us to the limo, right?

Somebody should look

at those shocks.

At least they carried our stuff.

Don't hold your breath for a tip.

As ambassador of Earth...

...I welcome you.

I'm Edgar...

...but I want you to call me Ed.

That's Ed.

And it's an honor

to meet you, Mr. Gonzo.

Yeah. Me too.

Hors d'oeuvres!

Please...

...won't you sit?

Thanks.

Careful, careful.

You'll get gas.

So when do we begin, Ed?

I'm very excited about all this.

Me too, my friend.

Me too.

Kermie!

Kermie! Everybody!

Come here.

Listen, everyone, listen.

I've got great news!

Gonzo has been kidnapped

by the government...

...and it could be

a life-threatening situation!

How can that be great news?

Because...

...l've got the story!

I've got the story!

I need to change. Something that

says, "Journalistic integrity."

- I've gotta pee.

- Oh, brother!

What are we gonna do?

Okay, guys, it's up to us.

We have to save Gonzo from

a whole army of government agents.

Well, I have a joke book.

Drumsticks! Drumsticks!

I have some loose Jell-O, okay.

Okay. Well, that settles that.

In circumstances like this,

there's only one place to turn.

- What do you got, Bunsen?

- There you are.

Well, here at Muppet Labs,

we've come up with many devices...

...that should aid you

in your covert operations.

This seemingly ordinary

rubber ducky...

...actually contains

invisibility spray.

However, the effect is,

sadly, temporary.

The old rubber-ducky-with-

invisibility-spray trick. Check.

And, Beaker, if you would.

Here is something that

we're very excited about.

"Door in a jar"?

That's absolutely right, Beakie.

All you do is open up the jar...

...fling the contents

onto the wall, and poof!

Instant door.

What is this?

A secret communication device?

That's Scotch tape.

Useful if something tears.

And what do you have for moi?.

Well, Miss Piggy, for you

we have Muppet Labs Mind Mist.

Simply spray it on the subject...

...and they will obey

your every command.

I doubt I'll need any.

Okay, guys, let's go get Gonzo.

- Vmonos!

- Come on.

We'll find him, okay.

I've been looking for

something like you...

...all my life.

And now, at last, my search...

...has come to an end.

May I?

Before you answer,

you better be clear...

...on the final destination

of that finger.

Thanks.

No nostrils.

How do you smell?

Awful. Trust me, I'm his roommate.

That's a killer!

Don't...

...laugh...

...at me!

I hope I'm not imposing, but I

thought you were just great on TV.

Could I get your autograph?

It's not a good time.

This is probably not a good time.

Forgive me my earthly manners.

But do you have any idea

what it's like...

...to be laughed at?

Sure, I do.

To be called names like "wacko"?

And "freak boy"?

And paranoid delusional psychopath?

Got me there.

To feel...

...completely alone

in this world?

I think we're starting to get

the general idea there, Ed.

It's wrestling legend

Hollywood Hulk Hogan?!

Have the rat sent down

to Dr. Tuckerfor some tests.

But I haven't studied.

I don't even have a number-two pencil!

This is for all my NWO-ites out there.

I will continue to dominate wrestling.

I'll make your back crack, your knees

freeze and your liver quiver.

I will continue to put so much pain

on you, you'll become my "painiac."

Hollywood.

Would you mind? The rat.

Where you going with my friend?

What will yourfans think?

Hey, what you gonna to do?

I'm a bad guy now.

Gonzo, help me!

He's going to be fine.

How you doing? I'm Bubba.

Rizzo. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

How'd you like to meet the boys?

Sure.

Up there, that's Fast Eddie,

harmonica extraordinaire.

- How you doing, Ed?

- I ain't dead.

Over here's Troy.

This back here, that's Shakes.

Hi. How you doing? Welcome.

They're doing a new

caffeine substitute on him.

That's the Birdman.

Where are you? Gladys?

He don't bother nobody.

He's been here forever.

Gladys! Come on,

the guys are watching.

He just likes to hang out

with his birds.

So that about does it for all

of us here at Medical Research.

Medical Research?

But that would mean we're...

...lab rats!

Gonzo, get me out of here!

Now, Mr. Gonzo.

What can you tell me about these?

They really have been looking for me.

- And they are coming to Earth?

- I don't know.

- How many are there?

- I don't know.

When will they be here?

And don't you dare tell me...

...that you don't know.

I know not?

But maybe I could find out?

Could you?

Well!

Okay, then.

I'll keep in touch. Thanks.

So back to the limo?

It's a shame, really.

I really need that information.

So I'm afraid

we'll have to perform...

...an invasive quadra-lobal

brain probe on you...

...and pluck it from your head.

The information?

No, your brain. Take him away.

My brain?

But just a second. I...

- Where are you taking me?

- Get General Luft.

I need my brain.

Tell me again.

Why are we doing this?

To save Gonzo.

Right.

Because Gonzo's one of us.

No matterwhat happens, no matter

what obstacles we face...

...we neverforget one of our own.

I love it when you take charge.

We left Bunsen and Beaker

back at the gas station.

From now on,

no matterwhat happens...

...we neverforget one of our own.

That's right.

Cheese Twiddle?

Is this movie time or something?

So you're the new guy.

From this moment on, if I say

you're hungry, you eat.

If I say you're sleepy...

I eat?

Oh, you shouldn't have...

Well, well, well.

We got a funny boy here.

- Is that bad?

- Very bad.

It looks like funny boy's

going to the maze.

Since we don't want funny boy

to get lonely...

...you'll all do time

in the maze.

I'm sorry.

See, no one's ever escaped

from the maze, funny boy.

And even if you did,

it's fourfeet to the ground...

...twelve feet to the door

and fourfeet to the doorknob.

- That's 18 feet.

- Twenty.

Funny thing about doorknobs:

Rats can't turn them.

No opposable thumb.

This is ridiculous!

Hey, Riz, watch out

forthem red circles.

What's wrong with the red...

Nobody ever listens.

Red circles. Right.

Now let me see.

Cheese, rat poison.

Cheese, rat poison.

What do you guys think, I'm crazy?

This is a no-brainer.

This ain't so bad.

A little breezy. Oh, boy.

Auntie Em, it's a twister!

This is just like

one of those carny rides.

You just gotta hang on, and at

the end I get some cotton candy.

I'm gonna hurl!

You're just trying

to play mind games here.

But I know the cheese is safe...

...because you think I'm going

forthe poison, right?

Room service.

Hey there, little fella.

How you doing?

While they're warming up the brain

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