Muppets from Space Page #4

sucker, I brought you a sandwich.

And I cut off the crusts there

for you. There you go.

Gee, that's nice. Thanks.

Anything for a celebrity.

Do you like jalapeos?

Sure.

Jalapeos

Hey, mopey!

- Who said that?

- I did.

But you're just a sandwich.

I'm channeling my voice through

this sandwich to deliverthis message.

Great! What's the message?

We arrive at midnight tonight.

Really? And do all of you

look like sandwiches?

- Forget about the sandwich!

- I'm sorry.

Jalapeos, jalapeos

Getting my friend some jalapeos

So here's the plan:

We're landing at your house.

No, no, wait.

Those guys know where I live.

And they're not the best

examples of Earthlings.

Gosh, where else can we land?

Let's see...

I know! At the beach.

Go to Cape Doom.

Just look forthe lighthouse.

The lighthouse at Cape Doom it is.

Oh, boy. I didn't hear that.

This is great.

But how do I get out of here?

I'm just a sandwich.

Some things you gotta

figure out for yourself.

By the way, you go ahead

and eat me now.

You're gonna need the energy.

- But won't that hurt?

- No, it's fine. I'm going away now.

- Cape Doom, right?

- Yes, Cape Doom.

Are you there?

Hello?

Just a little further up.

- Stop, Fozzie. Stop here.

- That's it.

Sorry.

Animal!

Sorry.

Stand back, boys.

This is a job for a woman.

Woman.

What's a nice man like you doing

in a guardhouse like this?

I'm buffalo hunting.

What's it look like I'm doing?

This is a restricted area.

You gotta go.

Oh, no.

Look deeply into my eyes

and tell me you want me to go.

I want you to go!

Understand?

Now!

I thought I...

What was I saying?

You were saying you were

going to open the gate.

Open the gate.

Of course, open the gate.

Come on in. Welcome!

Come on, guys!

Tell me I'm beautiful, sweetheart.

You are beautiful, sweetheart.

Thank you.

He fell on you

like a ton of bricks, okay.

Naturellement.

- Have a nice time.

- Gracias.

- I like yourtie. Very nice.

- Thank you.

- So long.

- Bye-bye!

What a handsome family.

Hey, rodents.

You know the cheese I promised you...

...afteryou ran that maze

and took those tests?

It was delicious.

No cheese?

No cheese?!

All right! That does it!

We're busting out

of this joint, boys.

Even if we got overthe wall,

we couldn't turn the doorknob.

Who needs doorknobs?

Very nice.

He likes it.

We gotta get through that door.

Should we just ask permission from

those nice men with the rifles?

Those are the bad guys.

All right.

It's time to get invisible.

Get the duck.

- Yes, sir.

- Duckie!

Here goes.

- I look thinner.

- Now spray yourself.

Hey, I like this.

All right, lose the duck.

Listen up, guys. This stuff

doesn't last long, so let's go.

- You're squashing me.

- Sorry, Kermie.

Come on, Kermit.

I will help you up, okay.

Kermit, you're so soft and plump.

You got one second to get

your hands off me, shrimp.

Sorry, Piggy.

Come on.

I have to go to the little bear's room.

Smoking is very bad for you, okay.

Bob...

...didn't know you cared.

Paging Dr. Van Neuter. Please

report to alien surgery number five.

I'm Dr. Van Neuter.

I'll be your brain surgeon today,

if you don't mind.

Get it? "Brain surgeon. Mind."

Feeling a little nervous, are we?

Of course I'm nervous.

Everyone is

before having their brain sucked out.

Now, don't you go away.

Okay, Kermit, I'm ready.

Fozzie, tell me

you didn't wash your hands.

Of course I did.

Mom said, "Always wash your hands."

Not when you're wearing

invisibility spray!

Mom said, "No exceptions."

Never, ever.

What the...

Stop!

You, hands, up.

All right, brother, remain calm.

I'm gonna have to take

you two into custody.

Wait. Let me explain, lady.

Where are yourforearms?

Woman!

Animal, get back here!

Give me a second to think.

He doesn't seem to be on this floor.

I should go change, okay.

Come on, everybody.

We need to find better cover.

Just up ahead here,

General Luft, sir.

There we go.

This is our new

retinal scanner, general.

- General Luft, sir.

- This had better be good.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, Riz. Where you going?

Listen. You guys go ahead.

I gotta go find my friend.

You could get caught.

What are you, nuts?

I guess I'll take my chances.

It was nice meeting you guys.

See you later.

So long, Riz.

Good luck.

Kid's got moxie.

What is moxie?

Let's see here.

Have you ever experienced

any achiness in yourtentacles?

I don't have tentacles.

Good, no achy tentacles. Good.

- Head ever come off?

- I don't think so.

Good, good, good.

- Any gingivitis?

- No.

Great.

Ever had problems with that

beaky thing you've got there?

Itching, swelling, flaking?

- Some flaking a couple years ago.

- Oh, who cares.

It's showtime!

Here we go.

Excellent, excellent.

What's that thing?

I don't know. Here we go.

Just stay like that.

This way.

Whose bright idea was this, anyway?

Which way, Kermit?

This way.

I can't breathe!

Come on.

Here we go.

Wait!

What is it?

Is this covered by my HMO?

Good question. I'll check.

You're alive!

Where have you been?

You don't want to know. Sit tight

while I chew through these straps.

Good news. You're covered

with a $10 co-pay.

Okay, hold still.

And remember, if you experience any

unpleasantness, please let me know.

I'd hate to miss it.

- Do you mind?

- Excuse me.

Wait!

Oh, good Lord! A rat!

I hate rats!

Then today ain't your lucky day, doc.

- Ready for an operation?

- Let's experiment!

Forward, Piggy.

Doctor.

- Just a couple of doctors.

- Doctors in the hallway.

That was close.

- To the right, Fozzie.

- Forward, Piggy.

Too fast, too fast.

The door. Stop!

What in the world?

This is big, general. I think

we should notify the President.

I'll be the judge of that.

As always, sir.

No, don't tickle me!

- What do we do?

- Will you please get me out of here?

I can't breathe!

Hey, guys.

Quick, get me out of here!

Today, sir...

...we must think with a big mind.

Behold.

Irrefutable evidence

of extraterrestrial life.

Release me...

This looks worse than it is, general.

Obviously, the...

Get off of me, you vermin!

The alien is loose in the building.

But not to worry because...

Don't bother.

You're terminated.

- When you say terminated...

- You need help, Singer!

Find some!

Well, how'd that

go for you, then? Okay?

So sorry I got you into this mess.

Thanks for coming to save me.

You can thank us once

we're out of here.

All right, quietly now.

Stop! Come back here!

Help! Mommy!

Please, please.

Listen to me.

You can't leave me.

I need you.

I go now.

Fine. Go on, go.

You're all alike.

Animals.

Call me.

Come here.

Way to go, Romeo.

Now, let's get out of here.

Let's go.

I'm gonna kill somebody.

Now, now.

Remember, calm blue ocean.

You let it go.

Baby steps, remember? Baby...

Find the alien!

Now!

Yes, sir.

- Try that door.

- It won't budge!

Forget that door. Come on!

This way!

Fozzie, quick!

The door in a jar.

"Open jar away from face."

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