Muppets Most Wanted Page #3

Wait for me! Please! Wait for me.

One more!

Keep Waltzing, Mr. Waltz!

Hey!

It was vertigo.

Not stage fright, if that's

what you're thinking, Number Two.

Sure.

Right, now to cover our tracks.

Let's get out of here!

CIA.

Interpol!

What is the CIA doing here?

This is myjurisdiction.

Not to mention, my badge is bigger.

One of the stolen paintings was on loan

from the New York

Metropolitan Museum of Art.

So, this is CIAjurisdiction.

Also, this is my travel badge.

Here's my real badge.

You must have been

looking at the wrong...

- Badge!

- What?

You've won this round, Pierre.

- My name is "Jean."

- Okay, Shawn.

It looks like we're gonna

be working together.

But that doesn't mean I have to like you.

I didn't like you first.

I didn't like you before I met you.

So, what have we got?

Two priceless paintings stolen

and one average painting

of an obscure English colonel.

This has all the markings

of the work of the Lemur.

What's a lemur?

Only the second most wanted

criminal in the world.

And my personal nemesis.

Unfortunately for me,

his identity is a mystery.

No, literally, what is a lemur?

It is also a rat-monkey

from Madagascar.

Just as I suspected.

This coin is his calling card.

The Lemur, he is playing with us.

I have a delivery here for Mr. Eagle.

Right here.

And here's your rope.

You were saying?

Look at that.

"Muppets sell out in Berlin." Five stars!

Kermit the Frog is liking this news.

Choc-choc, yeam!

Tunnel.

It's not there.

You were wrong!

Not so fast.

Oldest trick in the book.

Write it in lemon juice,

then simply apply heat

to reveal Colonel Blood's map.

Of course, today,

the Crown Jewels lie behind

the most sophisticated

security system on the planet.

And this map, along with

Blood's key and locket,

is the only way to get close to them.

Good work, Number Two.

What does it say

about location of Blood's key?

Right.

Something, something.

"Finest wooden teeth."

That is not helpful.

Wait.

There's the name of a city here.

Madrid.

You've got the wrong frog!

Hey, hey, hey!

It's Constantine.

- What?

- He's back.

What are you doing?

I'm not Constantine. My name is Kermit.

Constantine, always with the jokes!

Good old Constantine.

Always trying to pull a fast one.

Old friend.

Since you are back,

I guess you are in charge

of prison again.

Here, take prison crown.

We have to readjust it again.

Sergei, you get on that.

Take, take.

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

I've known Constantine for years.

And he has never...

Even

Said, "Thank you."

Because I am not Constantine.

- How dare you?

- He's not Constantine!

Let's throw him

in the recycling compacter!

Yeah!

Throw him in the compacter!

But I'm already green!

Squash that frog!

Put the frog down.

Or I will deploy.

Where am I?

The Gulag.

A gulag?

Gulag. The Big House.

The Big House!

Hit it, boys.

This is Russia's premier

state-funded hotel

We're very proud

of our eclectic clientele

Excellence in service since 1932

Don't believe what you read

in the online reviews

It's the Big House

The perfect getaway

Welcome into the Big House

You'll never get away

It's no Hilton or no Hyatt

But you will have a riot

So please enjoy your stay

Here's the dining room

The menu is minimal

What the cook does

to the food is criminal

Pull up a seat, frog

Grab yourself a stool

May I recommend

You try our famous gruel?

In the Big House

You'll never be alone

Life ain't bad in the Big House

No, frOQQY, no

Check out after 10

Or 11 years

Make yourself at home

Accommodation here is far superior

Than anything else

You Will find in Siberia

Let me know if

there's anything you need

Everything is free

Money back, guaranteed

In the Big House

You will not survive

When you arrive in the Big House

Run for your life

Two, three, four

It's the Big House

The perfect getaway

Welcome into the Big House

You'll never get away

For your security

I'll keep the only key

Now, please enjoy your stay

Listen, I'm telling you,

you've got the wrong frog!

If you are not Constantine,

why do you have that mole?

It's not real. Someone glued it to my lip.

As far as authorities are concerned,

you are Constantine.

Glue or no glue.

Make yourself comfortable.

You're going to be here a while.

I wouldn't be so sure.

My friends will be here soon!

Now, lights out!

Turn them back on!

I can't see anything.

You have to wait until

I'm, like, out of the hallway.

It's figure of speech.

Okay.

It seems that Blood's key

is hidden in a marble bust

of his accomplice,

Godfrey the Unknown,

which is kept in the Statue Room

at the Prado Museum.

Perfect.

We break in, steal the bust,

destroy it and grab key.

Yeah, it's not that simple.

You see, no one knows

what Godfrey the Unknown looked like.

Of course not. He was second

in command, so no one cared.

And there's 250 statues in that room.

That may be problem.

Let me think, Number Two.

Excusez-moi, Kerrme.

Do you have a moment'?

Kermit.

I just wanted to say

that I accept your apology

and I'm ready to put

our little disagreement

or whatever it was, behind us.

And, perhaps, I was a little

too eager about our wedding...

Pig, I have question.

Am I wearing sign

that says "Bother Me"?

What was that? What was that?

I was in the middle of evilly plotting.

I do not like to be

interrupted while evilly plotting.

If we're to get away with this,

you've got to keep up appearances.

I am keeping up appearances.

If you want the Crown Jewels,

stick to the plan.

Do whatever the pig wants. Keep her

happy. Whatever she asks of you.

Stupid frog!

Stupid train!

I don't want to talk to you, Kermit.

I said, I want you out!

I don't think you know what you want.

Yeah, ldo. I just told you, I...

You're my lady

and I'm your man, baby.

And that's why, if you stick with me,

I can give you what you want.

Baby, stop right there

Let me clear the air

Baby, look into these eyes

Let me apologize

I know what you're thinking of

You're thinking, "Where's the love?"

Babe, the love ain't gone

It's here where it belongs

I know what you're waiting for

Well, you don't need to wait no more

I can give you anything you want

Give you anything you need

I'll make your dreams come true

Give you anything you want

Fulfill your fantasies

I'll make your dreams come true

You want a unicorn

I'll give it to you

You want a puppy dog

I'll give it to you

You want an ice cream cone

I'll give it to you

You want a mortgage loan

I'll give it to you

You want a satin pillow

I'll give it to you

You want an armadillo

I'll give it to you

You want a diamond ring

I'll give it to you

You want a thingy-thing

I'll give it to you

I know what you're waiting for

Well, you don't need to wait no more

I can give you anything you want

Give you anything you need

I'll make your dreams come true

Give you anything you want

Fulfill your fantasies

I'll make your dreams come true

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