Murder Is Easy Page #5

You're a good player.

Equally obvious,

I would have thought.

Gordon hates losing.

Well, terrific.

Maybe I don't like it either.

But then,

you're not

my bread and butter.

You're actually gonna marry

a creep like that for money?

Oh, I'll earn my keep

all right with Gordon.

Yes, if you don't mind

the job description.

He'll forget to kiss me

good night after a month.

Surely you can see

what a child he is.

Yes.

And what a cold-blooded

gold digger you are.

Well, it's better than being

a hot-blooded fool.

You think I don't know

what it is to love a man?

Well, let me tell you

about my first fianc, Johnny.

I cared for him like hell,

and he threw me over

for a widow with three chins

and an income that makes

Gordon look like a pauper.

That sort of thing

rather cures one of romance,

don't you think?

Yes, I guess it could.

It did!

Well, good,

then maybe it'll cure me,

because I was beginning

to have some

pretty romantic

feelings about you.

What?

[]

Oh, really, Luke,

we've only just met.

Why don't you grow up

and behave like an adult?

I am. And that's why

I'm wrong for you,

since you're only hot

for children like Easterfield.

Nero!

Come here, sir.

It must have been

very hard on you

when Mrs. Horton died.

Yes.

But people were kind.

And Bridget came every day,

toward the end.

Brought down hothouse grapes

from Easterfield's.

That was awfully sporting

of Bridget,

swallowing her pride

that way.

Yeah,

she has plenty of that.

Mm.

Well, my wife

was a wonderful woman,

but she did

snub Bridget terribly

after her father

lost his money.

Poor Bridget's had

rather a time of it.

Expect you know,

being her cousin.

Yes, well, she never

said much about it.

No, no. Well, she wouldn't,

would she?

But I still say

that idiot Humbleby

was the cause of it all.

Anyone could see

Bridget's father was dying,

but Humbleby insisted

he knew how to treat him.

Thought the poor girl

would go mad with grief

when he died.

Augustus! Heel, sir!

Heel, heel, heel!

[CHURCH BELLS TOLLING]

Sweeney, Augustus!

Heel, sir!

Heel, heel, heel!

I, uh... I have to interview

Tommy Pierce's mother.

Can I buy you a drink?

Oh, no.

I'll not set foot

in Harry Carter's place,

even if he is dead

and gone to hell. Oh!

I don't think it's right,

his lordship

giving himself airs.

And it's not like

he were real gentry,

not like Miss Bridget

or Miss Waynflete.

Didn't I hear something

about...? Oh.

What was it?

Abbot and Amy Gibbs, uh...

Of course,

I'm never one to gossip.

I never have been,

but, um...

I always said

that Amy'd come to a bad end.

Think how it broke

poor Miss Bridget's heart,

Amy stealing her Johnny away,

the cheek of it.

And I'll admit,

it was naughty of Tommy,

laughing at Miss Bridget

over it, but...

Well, I think we'll all be happy

to see her as lady of the manor.

It's hers by right,

after all.

Uh, yes, that's interesting.

But, Mrs. Pierce,

did I hear you say

Amy stole Bridget's fianc?

[LUKE SIGHS ON TAPE]

But maybe Bridget's

covering up for Easterfield.

She is protective of him.

Oh, come on, Luke,

you have to face it.

She could have killed

either one of them for revenge.

Humbleby for letting

her father die.

Amy for stealing

her fianc, Johnny.

And don't forget,

she lied to you about that.

She said he left her

for a rich widow.

[TAPE PLAYER CLICKS]

[]

And what are you

gonna do about it, Luke?

[DIALING ROTARY PHONE]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

LUKE:

I was hoping you were still awake.

So I could say that I'm sorry

about this afternoon.

Apology accepted.

And I wanted to say

I think you're making

a great mistake,

going for Easterfield

when you could have me.

But there's

no accounting for taste.

And I need your help.

[LAUGHS]

You idiot.

I don't suppose any of this

could have waited till morning?

Oh, it could.

But I wanted to test

your reactions to stress.

How am I doing?

You pass.

Now, will you go somewhere

with me tomorrow?

I can do anything I want.

[]

Remember?

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

MAN [OUTSIDE]:

But now he's got the wind up about this,

what's to stop him

laying the blame on me?

BRIDGET [OUTSIDE]:

Oh, Rivers, really!

You're blowing the thing

out of proportion.

RIVERS:

Have I? Then you'll have no objection

to me telling him then,

will you?

BRIDGET:

You know what a temper he has.

RIVERS:

He's after me all the time.

I don't like

being questioned!

Rivers, really,

it was nothing!

You needn't

concern yourself.

But he has to be told!

All right, Rivers!

I'll tell him.

But please be good enough

to let me do it in my own way.

Well, make it soon, Miss,

or I shall

tell him myself.

That would be

very foolish, Rivers.

Very foolish.

[]

You're certain

that your friend Jimmy

said to come here?

Mm-hm.

You are so beautiful

when you're perplexed.

[SMOOCHES]

Come on.

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Luke, what are we

doing here?

Ah.

We, my dear,

are going to find out

who the killer really is.

BRIDGET:

You're joking.

LUKE:

No, I'm not.

We are going to get

the help we really need.

Now, if you will

just sit down.

After yesterday,

I decided it's

much too complicated

for us to figure out

by ourselves.

So I am going to program

everything we know

about the murders

into the computer,

and it is going to tell us

the name of the murderer.

You are joking.

Bridget, this is

my bread and butter.

It's just a question

of relative probabilities

if we program it properly.

[BEEPING]

Now...

here are the names

of the six victims.

[BEEPING]

BRIDGET:

What does it say?

LUKE:
Well, it is asking

how the victims were killed,

and we don't know that

in all cases.

[BEEPING]

LUKE:

At least we know what killed them.

Do you ever stop

to think

how smart

the killer must be?

Killed every one of them

in a different way.

I know.

It's terrifying.

[BEEPING]

LUKE:

Motives.

Now that's a toughie.

Better just input the classics

for now, and hope that we hit it.

You know:

lust, greed, fear.

What else?

Revenge?

Ah.

[KEYBOARD CLICKING]

[BEEPING]

BRIDGET:

Opportunity?

That means who was

in the right place

at the right time,

I suppose?

But there's no way

to know that.

Except in the case

of Miss Fullerton.

Would you agree that

whoever killed Miss Fullerton

probably killed

all the others?

Yes.

But how do you know

who could have killed her?

Because she was killed

on Derby Day,

and we now know

who was absent

from the village

on that day.

That's why you were

asking everyone

about the derby.

Oh, Luke, you are clever.

LUKE:

Our leading candidates.

First, Abbot,

the attorney, a womanizer.

[KEYS CLICK]

Ellsworthy,

probably the last person

to see Amy alive.

[KEYS CLICKING]

Major Horton,

whose wife died mysteriously.

[KEY CLICKS]

And Dr. Thomas,

who knows all about drugs.

There must be others.

Well, I did check up on

a couple of other people.

There's me, of course.

I was in London that day too.

You mean

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