My Awkward Sexual Adventure

Synopsis: Thirty-seven year old Winnipeg-based accountant Jordan Abrams, a proverbial doormat of a man, has pined after Rachel Stern since he was twelve. He finally got her to be his girlfriend last year after she being a peripheral or not so peripheral part of his life all these years. Now, in a relationship for a year, Jordan plans on asking her to marry him on a week-long romantic vacation they are taking to Niagara Falls. Rachel not only decides not to go on the trip, but dumps him when he, learning that she isn't going, asks her to marry him the day before the trip instead. The primary reason she dumps him?: he's lousy in bed, she not being able to envision bad, boring sex with him for the rest of her life. Rachel convinces him to take the vacation by himself, instead hanging out in Toronto with his college friend Dandak, his return from the vacation when they will talk about the break-up in more detail. Dandak, a sex machine, sees his role in his mending his friend's broken heart as gettin
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Sean Garrity
Production: Tribeca Film
  4 wins & 7 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Rotten Tomatoes:
71%
NOT RATED
Year:
2012
98 min
Website
325 Views


My sexual adventure strange

Rach?

Jonas Chernik

Emily Hampshire

SARA MANNINEN:

Vick Saha

Good morning!

Surprise!

Breakfast in bed.

How sweet it is... Sleeves cut

into hearts!

Yes apple bacon and crescent smile.

I'm not going to Niagara Falls.

Not funny. You know how hard that

I have a room with a hot tub?

Previously prepaid, and return the

money for a room with a hot tub.

Listen, Jordan. Currently I am in

a difficult period in...

I think I need... need...

Well, wait. Wait!

No! What are you doing?

It should be done before tomorrow night...

I'll stay here. - Do not!

You... You're the only girl

I wanted to be.

Rachel Stern, will you marry me?

I can not spend the rest of your life

have sex only with you.

Break!

Well, Rach...

Look, I can improve!

I get up! Just tell me where

I'm wrong.

Not a good idea. - I can live!

Really?

Very well.

You have bad breath. - I can fix it.

I do not know how to kiss. I do

not know what to do with my breasts.

Sometimes, trying to suck.

It ended too soon.

His cock seems... - Very good.

There is no need...

I never lame. Fri call "favors of time. "

Not anywhere near my butt. You

do not want a...

Why I want three! Disappoint someone?

Good point. - Look, Rach.

We can fix it. I'll read the book!

No, I'll make a list... We'll

fix it together as a team.

Ok, but there are so many things

I have not tried.

Over the past year, he realized

he needed a change.

We both need. We tried, really.

But I want to move in...

I am releasing. - I will be free.

I wanna be with you. - No, no!

Hold. - No! Take your license.

Go to Toronto in Dendak and fun.

When I return, I'm going to my sister...

No! Please wait!

Well, it was very clear. I hear you.

I'm a bad lover, right? - Yes

But book seats on the plane.

I took a window seat that you love.

Let's talk about it during the break.

Gary works hard.

Better not go down and you lose

the stupid trip.

You know, Kelly, who...

- What will you mourn?

Want a tissue? - No.

God, truly mourn.

Hi, Mom. - He's crazy right?

Waiting for years like an idiot...

- What do you think? Not..

I had to ask, did not break up

with her.

Nobody breaks right, Mom.

Actually, after three hours of

going on a special trip...

I can not talk. Train.

last call for Flight 632 to

Toronto.

'Go all passengers on board.

Toronto passengers waiting

Jordan Abrams.

Jordan Abrams, please report

to the output.

I'm waiting for someone.

not come.

What is this, Jordan? - Have you

been checking in?

No, I will not. - Come on, baby,

close the doors.

Now we need the space.

Well, I get home and I'll postpone

the flight for tomorrow.

No, no, no! Do not listen to me,

Jordan.

I need you, actually. See you next week.

Have a... Hey!

type of person that people

should relax.

strangle.

board the plane.

There they are. Come here.

The next seven days will follow my

every gesture and every word of mine.

See, hear, absorbed.

Life is like a table with food, my

friend. Now is the time to eat the table.

How intimate haircut? Shaved?

I think not!

Do not worry, I have a backup cutter.

- I have no intention to deceive Rachel.

Are you kidding? She broke up

with you, man.

Really? Very kind of you.

- Stop it, that's not fair!

He suffers from a girl of 12 years.

It took 24 years to convince

her to give him a chance.

It did not work. Sorry.

But it's time to move on.

And his mentor wants to focus on sex.

Sorry to bother you...

Beautiful boots!

Is it a problem?

My friend is not attractive?

Not bad, maybe seven.

20? - No.

10? - Yes

I'd say 5 or 6, but you're in shape.

7 out of 10, right? - Yes 7.

He organized a small party tonight.

He's new in town.

Why not leave your friends?

Apartment 4 at 8:00.

What do you think?

Of course it is. - Fantastic!

For sexual confidence takes time.

Believe me, I know Rachel.

Until today I was playing,

and tomorrow I'll be sat here.

Man, if those little raisins

you call balls

and bring them back into the

scrotum to be shaved.

Therefore, women prefer.

Relax!

Do not fight and do not bite much.

Wait!

No! Not...

No, no, no!

Oh, my God! Be careful, please!

Thanks Renaldo. This is for you.

Lord! Wait. - Very good.

Cool!

What are you doing here? Attention!

I know! But I wonder what this

half-naked man serving drinks?

He is here to ensure that they

will have sex.

This suggests that women think

about sex and what not!

Why not go to bed with him?

- Because my plan is ingenious.

This gentleman prefers the

company of gay men.

Therefore, women are forced to take...

Please give me the phone.

- Not enough!

Not until you talk to a girl.

I do not want much. Do it for me.

I know you're nervous, but you're

hard Miss July.

I love it.

Well... I could direct a lady

who have not had sex with her

and talk.

Dada. No two.

No, I've been there.

A recount? - No, no problem.

Then the darkness. I was banging

on the back. - Very good.

Hi! - Hi

Hi...

I'm Tanya. - Tanya, Tanya...

Jordan.

Hello - nice to meet you, Tanya.

So what are you doing?

What are you doing? - What?

What... How Do I?

I do not understand.

Really? Real Estate? - Yes

Yugo. Property Owner. I've had.

Cool, yes. No, that's great.

G- O-t-i-n-oh, oh... - Are you okay?

I miss my boyfriend.

Excuse me.

Behold, I have spoken. Are you happy?

It has been dishonored.

Where are you going?

What is this team?

You have to pack another candidate

for marriage.

God, their parents, who continue to play

matchmaker! - Yes, because every Indian family.

Must respect the traditions.

You're in charge while I'm gone.

Just give me back my phone.

- What?

Phone. - Is that what you want?

Let's see something.

As I suspected. Zero loss.

Why call it, man?

Because...

Because he is jealous.

Yes, she is jealous.

and photographed with red baby

Rachel called me 15 times.

Do you remember? - No, not you remember?

Give me the phone. - Well, I did!

Upstairs in the loft. - No?

Lots of fun!

What? - Jordan, it is better

not to talk.

What? I can not hear, my dear.

Dendak prepare me crazy party in...

Here is complete! He is full of girls.

Tanya is engaged in real estate

and my cousin...

Rach... This is our affection

to your music?

with other truth?

Look, let's talk when you get back.

Right? - Very good. Good idea.

Is there anyone with you?

You're a bad boy! Go to bed!

Hello?

Rach?

Hello! - Hi

I was a bit strange being there

again and sorry. - Now heals me?

I feel much better.

I was hoping to start again.

Well, well. - Very good.

Thank you. I'm Jordan, accountant.

Tanya, real estate. - Nice to meet you

Can a personal question?

Yes.

You can take sexy photos to convince

my girlfriend to marry me?

Go on like this, I'll shoot.

A quick photo?

"Beauty and the Beast" NIGHT CLUB

Sorry!

Sorry. I could not...

These machines... Their rates

are astronomical.

I want chips.

Yes, but take it and charge more

than twice the bank rate.

It is not wise. - Yes, but I

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Jonas Chernick

Jonas Chernick (born July 16, 1973) is a Canadian actor and screenwriter. His credits as an actor include the films Inertia, Lucid, Paid in Full, Seven Times Lucky, Mayday, Blood Pressure, My Awkward Sexual Adventure, How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town, and Borealis and the television series The Border, At the Hotel, Living in Your Car, Degrassi, The Eleventh Hour and The Best Laid Plans. He was credited as a writer on Lucid, My Awkward Sexual Adventure, and Borealis. Originally from Winnipeg, Manitoba, where he was born and raised in a prominent local Jewish family, he is currently based in Toronto, Ontario. more…

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