My Big Fat Greek Wedding Page #2

-Could I get some more coffee, please?

-Sure.

Thank you.

All right, let's go.

-What do you mean? I just got here.

-I got a class.

I love the spice on these potatoes.

What is that?

Like I care. Come on.

Giving a pop quiz,

and I can't wait to hear the groans.

Man, you're tough.

I'm giving a test on Hamlet,

but I give fair warning.

Hi.

Keep the change.

You like this, Pops? For the new menu?

-Where did you get that?

-I drew it, Dad.

Dad, I've been going through

our inventory...

and I've noticed that we've been doing

a lot of unnecessary ordering.

I've been thinking that

maybe we should update our system.

We could get a computer.

I don't know if you remember,

but I got all A's in Computers.

But there's a lot of new stuff to learn now...

so, if you want, I could go to college

and take a few courses.

Why?

Why you want to leave me?

I'm not leaving you.

Don't you want me

to do something with my life?

Yes! Get married! Make babies!

You look so old!

Hey, Toula. Come on.

I know what you want.

You have, how you say, a spirit.

You want to see things. You want to learn.

I know, you're from my side.

Come on. Don't you worry.

I'm gonna talk to him.

Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes.

"The man is the head of the house."

Let me tell you something, Toula.

The man is the head,

but the woman is the neck.

And she can turn the head

any way she wants.

My baby.

Don't cry. Come on.

And what is wrong with Toula

going to school downtown?

They use drugs downtown.

What are you saying? Are you saying

that Toula will get involved with drugs?

No, but somebody will say to her:

"Take this bag down to the bus depot,"

and she'll do it.

She's not stupid. She's smart.

I know she's smart,

so what for she needs more school?

She's smart enough for a girl.

You think you're smarter than me?

No, I mean, you know--

What? What do you mean?

I run the restaurant, I cook, I clean...

I wash for you, and I raised three kids...

and I teach Sunday school.

You know, it's lucky for me

I have you to tie my shoes.

Maria....

-Is this seat taken?

-Sure.

Hi.

That's what I want to talk to you about.

-Look at you. What are you talking about?

-What?

I don't like my butt. Taki likes it.

I won't pretend the travel industry

is something I've always wanted to do.

I'm not gonna pretend that,

but I'm saying that it's different.

You know I've been learning

about computers?

There's this course, a seminar.

It's all about computers and tourism.

There are all the latest applications

and programs.

I could apply it here, Thia.

And your business would double or triple.

You could be with Thio more,

and you could take a vacation.

I could book it for you.

But, Thia, would you hire me?

Of course.

My God!

We must let Kosta think this was his idea,

that he came up with it.

-Ma, he'll figure it out.

-Don't worry.

-I know what to do.

-You don't know what to do, you talk.

Do you want my help? Tell me what to say,

but don't tell me what to say.

-Perfect.

-That's good.

So, Voula. How is business?

Woe to me. Business is bad.

What's the matter? What happened?

Do you need money?

No, what she means is that,

with the two businesses, she suffers.

She suffers. She has to be

at the travel agency alone, all day...

because everybody else needs to be

working at the big dry-cleaning store.

That's right.

I make Taki go to the dry-cleaner store...

and now I have no time with him.

So, send Angelo or Nikki...

to the travel agency,

you be with Taki at the dry cleaner.

-That would be good.

-That would be no good.

Because...

neither Angelo nor Nikki

know how to use the computer.

That's why that no work.

Computer?

I have your answer.

Toula will go to the travel agency...

and you send Nikki here to work for us.

I can't believe this.

Wonderful.

You see, a man....

You're just so smart, I love you.

Bravo!

Bravo!

Hello, Mrs. Christakis. Thanks for holding.

Okay, your request pulled up "confirmed,"

so it is now PNR'd.

Hold again, please. Hi, British Airways.

I'm gonna need a hard tick on that one.

Reading, Alpha, Bravo, Foxtrot, Charlie.

Roger, copy that.

Hi, Mrs. Christakis,

your tickets are now in the mail...

under "Doreen Christakis."

Okay, thank you, bye-bye.

Come on down!

You're the next contestant

on The Price is Right!

I got it.

Did you lose this?

Oh, Mrs. White. You find my mama again.

You know, she come from Greece,

the country I come from, too.

For God's sake, I know.

Listen, keep your mother off my lawn...

out of my basement and away from my roof.

Mrs. White, come on.

Give me a word, any word...

and I'll show you

that the root of that word...

is Greek.

Look, everybody. Look who's back again.

Sit down, Yiayia. Very good.

Toula, there are two kinds of people...

Greeks, and everybody else

who wish they were Greek.

Okay. Yes, we know.

What's the matter with her?

Hi, Mount Olympus Travel Agency.

May I help you?

Sure. That's what we do.

What are you doing? Wait!

Absolutely. Right.

Sorry, lady.

Sure.

You can book it now.

I could reserve the seat for you.

Be with you in a second.

That would be no problem.

Call me back when you're ready. Bye-bye.

Hi.

Hi.

Did you wanna see some brochures?

Found them.

Look at this.

And then, whoosh, you were gone.

I thought you'd fainted.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was swept off of my feet by

your very cool opening line of "hi."

So, Toula?

Ian.

Ian Miller.

Toula Porkipakos?

Portokalos.

-Okay, Toula.

-All right, then.

Was that a biker fight or a nose job?

Yeah.

No, really.

You don't wanna know.

I don't know about that. If I'd survived

an old-lady ass-kicking, I'd brag about it.

Hey, Jesus! Ouch!

-You want to have dinner with me?

-Yeah.

Actually, I wasn't in education first,

I was prelaw.

My dad's a lawyer and

my grandfather is a lawyer and...

it just wasn't for me,

so I picked a new major.

The parents weren't too pleased, you know?

Yeah.

I think it....

I think it takes

a pretty strong person to do that.

Well, you know everything about me, then...

I'm a pretty strong, vegetarian teacher...

over at Lincoln Park.

I don't know anything about you,

except you're Greek.

Hey...

would you like to go have Greek food?

No, that's okay.

No, listen. I know this really great place,

you probably know it, Zorba's something.

Anyway, I'd like to take you there,

if you'd like to go.

-I don't wanna go there.

-What do you mean? Why not?

That place...

Dancing Zorba's.

Dancing Zorba's.

My family owns that restaurant.

Really?

I remember you.

You're that waitress.

Seating hostess, actually.

I remember you.

I was kind of going through a phase...

up until now.

And...

I was Frump Girl.

I don't remember Frump Girl,

but I remember you.

Okay, no Greek. Italian? Tomorrow night?

Okay.

Where are you going?

I'm taking a pottery class.

The Greeks invented pottery.

So, it was just me, all alone...

up in the mountains in this cottage,

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