My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Page #11

they laugh and comment on everything. With a pen, Mana-

Yiayia fills out the COSMOPOLITAN Sex Quiz.

Toula (curlers in her hair) rolls curlers into Paris’s hair,

as Paris hands gifts to Maria.

Nikki does Maria’s hair while Maria opens gifts, reads cards.

MARIA:

“With love from Peter.”

Maria takes another card.

CLOSE-UP:
writing on large card:

With love from Dominique xoxo

MARIA (CONT’D)

“With love from Dominique, xoxo.”

Who’s Xoxo?

She shows the “xoxo” on the card.

Nikki sprays olde timey hair spray onto Maria’s hair.

NIKKI:

One more layer and your hair won’t

move until your next wedding.

Nikki laughs at her own joke. Toula ducks as Nikki lacquers

Paris’s hair.

NIKKI (CONT’D)

And this’ll last ‘til you graduate

college.

(CONTINUED)

76

CONTINUED:

AUNT FREIDA:

Paris, I hear for college you’re

staying in Chicago -- that’s good.

Toula and Paris lock eyes, Toula shakes her head - not today.

PARIS:

You look pretty for your big day,

Yiayia!

Paris hugs Maria.

AUNT FREIDA:

On my wedding day, I was too

excited to eat and I fainted.

AUNT VOULA:

That was our mother’s advice to us

for our wedding night.

MARIA:

Yes! She said, if you’re nervous

about your duties, just pretend to

faint. Your husband will take it

from there.

AUNT VOULA:

I did it.

Everyone laughs.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

I waited for Taki to scoop me up.

But he just put a blanket on me, I

slept on the cold floor by myself!

MARIA:

Remember Paris, not until your

wedding night. Tonight, you

protect the poulaki.

Toula shakes her head.

TOULA:

Okay Mom, you said it, now let’s

move on.

MARIA:

There’s more.

TOULA:

Of course.

(CONTINUED)

77

CONTINUED:
(2)

Toula nudges Paris.

TOULA (CONT’D)

Did you leave the car running?

PARIS:

Uh huh.

Paris walks out, Maria calls after her.

MARIA:

Paris, your eyes open, your knees

shut.

AUNT VOULA:

And you, if your knees are open,

shut your eyes.

Aunt Voula and Maria cackle.

AUNT FREIDA:

I always have my eyes shut tight.

AUNT VOULA:

Not me! I pretend Taki is a

vampire from those movies.

Sometimes he likes me to dress up

like a wizard. He has a magic wand

TOULA:

Oh good, the sex stories are

starting, let me get a better seat.

Toula runs out.

Nikki looks at the time, shoos out the cousins.

NIKKI:

Everyone go get dressed!

Everyone scrambles to run out. Aunt Voula follows.

AUNT VOULA:

Pluck your eyebrow!

Mana-Yiayia tosses her magazine, starts to head out.

NIKKI:

Mana-Yiayia, have a seat.

(CONTINUED)

78

CONTINUED:
(3)

Mana-Yiayia grins.

CUT TO:

EXT. PORTOKALOS HOUSE - SAME DAY

Patrick drives up in a truck marked PET-CETERA. Angelo backs

out a rack of poofy wedding dresses, wheels it up the

Portokalos driveway.

Toula (hair in curlers) parks in her driveway, Paris (hair in

curlers) jumps out and runs into the house.

Toula sees the Mail Carrier leaving the Portokalos mailbox,

and on a hunch, runs over to grab the mail.

Toula sees:
the letter from Find Your Ancestry. Oh no, not

today....

She tucks it into her jacket.

CUT TO:

INT. NICK’S HOUSE - SAME DAY

It’s quiet. Angelo goes through a rack, hands a tux to Ian.

ANGELO:

This should fit.

Ian holds it up to himself -- it’s short. And there’s

glitter on the lapels.

ANGELO (CONT’D)

Funk band.

IAN:

Of course.

ANGELO:

The Funkateers.

IAN:

Is that even a word?

Gus and Uncle Taki eat, play with Alexander the Great cards.

GUS:

Look, Alexander the Great

conquering Mesopotamia.

(CONTINUED)

79

CONTINUED:

UNCLE TAKI:

Speaking of, be gentle with your

bride tonight.

Uncle Taki and Gus laugh their heads off.

Then -- through the side window, Gus sees Nick pull up.

And his brother PANOS, 70’s, gets out of the car.

Shocked, Gus looks at Uncle Taki and Ian.

GUS:

That’s my brother, Panos!

(scowls)

I don’t like surprises.

UNCLE TAKI:

Gus, the kids, they did it for you.

Uncle Taki takes a BOTTLE OF OUZO and SHOT GLASSES, goes out

to meet Panos.

Gus is upset.

IAN:

Gus, the family pooled their

airline points.

GUS:

Ian, you don’t know this, you’re

not successful like me. When you

do well, you become a sign of hope

for the optimist. But to the

pessimist, you represent the stench

of their own failure. Those people

hate you for their life choices.

IAN:

It was a long time ago.

GUS:

I send him money, he sends it back.

Ian gestures for Gus to come with him outside.

CUT TO:

EXT. NICK’S HOUSE - SAME DAY

Ian follows as Gus comes out to greet his brother Panos.

(CONTINUED)

80

CONTINUED:

GUS:

(cordial, stiff)

Welcome.

PANOS:

Congratulations on your wedding

today.

GUS:

Thank you.

A moment goes by. It’s nice.

Taki hands the ouzo and glasses to Nick, leaves with the

suitcase.

TAKI:

Panos, I’ll put your suitcase in

the guest room.

PANOS:

Nick, you have a big house.

Suddenly Gus bellows.

GUS:

What do you mean by that?!

Ian does a double-take. Panos quickly turns back.

PANOS:

You know what I mean!

Ian gets out of the way.

GUS:

My son works hard, he deserves a

house!

PANOS:

And I don’t?!

GUS:

You could have had this -

PANOS:

I chose to stay and work in our

country! I didn’t abandon her then

and I won’t now! I’m a real Greek!

GUS:

I’m a real Greek too!

(CONTINUED)

81

CONTINUED:
(2)

Trying to change the subject, Nick holds up the tray of ouzo.

NICK:

Let’s drink!

Nick pours ouzo. Panos takes a glass. Nick urges Gus to

take one too. He does. Panos raises his glass.

PANOS:

To the homeland.

GUS:

To the Patritha. And the drachma.

They drink. Suddenly Panos and Gus hug.

Nick pours another. Then-

GUS (CONT’D)

To you, Panos, my brother.

That goes a long way.

PANOS:

To you, Costa, my brother!

Ian raises his glass.

IAN:

To you, Nick, my brother.

Nick touched, hugs Ian.

NICK:

To you, Ian, my brother.

They all drink. Gus nudges Panos about Ian.

GUS:

(in Greek, subtitled)

He’s okay for a Xeno.

Ian nudges Gus.

IAN:

(in perfect Greek,

subtitled)

You’re okay for a grouchy old man.

CUT TO:

82

INT. MILLER LIVING ROOM - DAY

Holding a bowl, Toula runs from the kitchen to the hall.

TOULA:

Paris, you want keftethes?

Toula puts the bowl on the hall table. She opens her purse

to transfer lipstick and her phone to a cocktail purse, looks

at the Find Your Ancestry letter. Thinks.

PARIS (O.C.)

Mom?

Toula turns.

Paris is at the top of the stairs. She is dressed, her hair

and makeup are subtle and fresh... she is ready for prom.

Paris comes down the stairs. And, at the base of the stairs:

PARIS (CONT’D)

(wryly)

You’re not on the Prom Chaperone

committee?

TOULA:

Oh, they asked but I said no.

(pause)

Why, do you need me to be?!

PARIS:

God, no!

TOULA:

Okay then.

(pause)

Am I always so close, you see your

shadow as two people?

PARIS:

(gently)

Yeah.

Toula finally gets it. She nods.

TOULA:

I’m stepping back now. Go and have

a great time. Tonight... and to

college in New York. And even

though I’ve taken a step back, I’ll

always be right here.

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