My Big Night

---

1

Come on, let's start,

we haven't got all day.

I've been on my feet

for 11 hours, okay?

Let's put some energy into it!

Cellphones off, please.

Not in silence, off.

The filter through.

Are these people extras?

Get them to sit down.

Another one.

Are we never going to start?

Let's go.

Cristina, Roberto, ready?

Girls and boys, on the ball!

Playback!

Amparo, snap out of it.

Sh*t, there's a lot to do.

Go on, switch.

One.

Five.

One. One!

Damn it...

Five, four,

three.

- What's for dinner?

-Pizza or Chinese?

Chinese.

Two.

Whoah, man!

Cut, cut!

I lost the crane shot.

- What are you doing?

- What's up?

Paco!

Can you hear me?

What are you doing, you shithead?

Can you hear me in there?

- Paco!

- We can hear you.

- Paco!

- We can f***ing hear you!

I said to lower it gently.

Okay, from the top.

Rosa, a guy at table 21

got hit on the head.

- How is he?

- How do you think?

- Call an ambulance.

- Shouldn't we get it off him?

- Do I get under there?

- Good idea.

We shouldn't move him!

Like in a motorbike crash.

Is he breathing?

Smoking isn't allowed here.

Smoking isn't,

but crushing people is?

Bullshit.

It's an accident,

but if you want to go, go.

I need the money.

What the hell's this?

Out of the way!

Make way.

- Tell me he's alive.

- Just a scratch.

- A scratch?

- It split his skull!

- Are we insured for this?

- We have fire insurance.

Do you want to set fire to him?

- Well, there were sparks.

- Thanks.

I'm a lawyer.

I think you've got a case.

You just want to get on "Survivors".

- The mech is in the union.

- They'll go after us.

- They want to stop this.

- No way in Hell!

Hey, guys, nothing happened here.

We have to carry on.

This has to be our big night!

MY BIG NIGH The table, make it snappy.

- Miss, the chicken.

- Here.

Are we going again or what?

Let's go.

Cristina, Roberto, ready?

Girls, guys, on the ball.

Playback!

Switch to one.

Three. Fantastic. Four.

F*** it!

Stop!

- What is it?

- I don't know yet.

Sh*t, man.

- Go ahead.

- Paco, honey,

focus or we'll never finish.

- What now?

- Take a look.

An empty seat at table 21.

- Yes, I see it.

- Fill the gap.

- Nobody wants to sit there.

- Why not?

- It creeps them out.

- It what?

They're scared.

A spotlight would never hit

the same spot twice.

Amparo, are you on strike?

What's wrong?

Work or f*** off,

just don't give me sh*t!

Someone at the table is bad luck.

- A jinx?

- Don't say that.

- Why not?

- It's bad luck to say it.

- The word?

- Talk to them.

I'm not talking to anyone.

Sort it out!

Don't get anyone too tall,

they'll block the shot,

or so short you don't notice.

Not too thin

so he can fill the spot,

or too cute,

he'll be distracting.

A normal guy.

Common, ordinary.

- Hello.

-Are you free?

Yes, go ahead.

When are you picking up Mom?

But it's the 15th today!

Jose, not again,

I'm in no mood for crap.

We agreed you'd pick her up

so we could go to Disneyland.

You're going to Disneyland?

I sent you a WhatsApp

and you answered "OK".

I put "OK" to dinner

on Saturday, a week ago.

The same old story...

You put "OK" and a smiley face.

Don't lie.

I don't have any smiley faces

on my phone!

Forget about it.

I don't want a fight.

Mom will be here from 5 pm,

waiting with her crucifix.

So move your ass!

Maria, I can't go anywhere,

something's come up.

- Like what?

-A job.

- What kind of job?

- From the Temp Agency!

I waited 3 months for a call.

If I don't go they'll blacklist me

and never call again.

I ask you for one thing!

I minded your kids the other day!

For 5 minutes,

while I was at the supermarket.

The movies too.

We ran out of

Lego blocks to play with.

- You're exaggerating.

-The keys are under the doormat.

Remember her pills:

big ones in the morning,

yellow and blue at night.

- iMara.

- 'Bye.

She hung up on me.

Is he here?

In his dressing room,

bitching about the lack of towels.

And no flowers.

Why are these ladies here?

It could get nasty.

- Sack Benitez!

-A busload from Holland.

How'd they find out

he was singing tonight?

His agent leaked it.

- The Russian?

-He doesn't look Russian.

He says Alphonso has to go on first.

After the Christmas Chimes?

Impossible. It's set.

Bentez, bastard!

Take that home

and don't come back!

Bastard!

Sack Bentez!

Sue him.

Who? The injured guy?

Sue him before he sues us.

Scare him shitless.

I'm the sub.

What's going on?

Nothing, it's fine.

- Ask for the stage manager.

- In there?

Motherf***er!

Scab!

You don't know what you're doing!

Don't go in there!

You're risking your life!

It's chaos out there.

Let's go.

What do I do?

Nothing:
sit.

- Clap, smile.

- Be happy.

When does it end?

My mother's all alone...

When does it end, he says!

- How cute!

- Jose Diez Mario?

Yes, from the agency.

I know.

- Is that the magician?

- No way!

He's nobody.

- Come on.

- Coming.

Go in, please.

Don't look at the camera,

talk to anyone,

or drink from the glasses,

and the food is plastic.

When I say clap, clap,

and when I say stop, stop,

don't keep going.

And smile, all the time.

It's a f***ing party.

- Alright.

- Hi, what's up?

- This is nice.

- Yeah, very.

Sh*t!

What are you doing?

Sh*t, man, not again?

Keep still!

"That's terrific!

What a great time we're having!"

This is the start?

How do you want it to start?

How do I say it?

- Masculine, virile...

- F*** off.

How's my little guy?

It's set:
you go on first.

The chimes ring,

the show starts and you're on.

- What about Alphonso?

- Forget about Alphonso.

At 12:
00 people want to see you.

We get the prime spot.

At 1:
00 the old fart

for the grannies is on.

A little respect for Alphonso,

he's a great singer.

Sure, but you're on first.

I just swung it with Bentez.

Teeth!

Listen:
The photos of the

madwoman at the mall.

- What about them?

- Problem solved. Kaput.

- Did you buy them?

- No.

- Then what?

- Even better than that.

I paid a hacker to wipe

her phone and computer.

- Can you do that?

- The Secret Service can.

It was as simple

as sending an email with a virus

that deletes everything.

Does that cost a lot?

What we charge for a gig.

- That much?

- It can't happen again, Adanne.

It won't, don't worry.

- Please.

- I promise.

Get it into your head.

it's not the 70s,

you can't go around

with your fly open.

People film everything now,

then you're on Youtube

and a two million people

have seen your cock.

Two million?

If even half buy my disc...

Don't you get it?

You're a teen idol,

so you get brand endorsement.

If you're caught humping

on the Net,

"humping" meaning "f***ing",

forget Coca-Cola, Nike,

Pepsi, all of it.

God!

God!

God!

What would I do without you?

Aw, stop it.

Yes, Benitez.

No, it's non-negotiable.

We went through this, man.

But how?

My dear... Benitez.

After the ads?!

People have already gone out!

Little guy!

Relax, honey, it's alright.

He threw coffee in his face.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes