My Blue Heaven
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 1950
- 96 min
- 2,364 Views
MAN:
Does your husband- Hm? What did you say?
MAN:
Your husband.Did he have any idea
you were coming here today?
No, I don't think so.
Now, this is calcium
and a few other things.
You'll find the directions
on the label.
Now, just go on leading
Eat whatever you like, take plenty
of exercise and get lots of sleep.
- When do you think it'll be, doctor?
- Oh, about Christmas, I'd say.
- Christmas.
- Unless you're from the South...
...where women take their time.
Hadn't you better hurry?
It's almost time for your broadcast.
You mean exactly Christmas?
Well, not necessarily Christmas day.
Say a week or 1 O days either way.
- A first baby is...
- Broadcast!
- My goodness, what time is it?
- It's 28 after 4.
- It can't be.
- Oh, let me help you.
We're on the air in 30 minutes.
Jack will kill me.
Well, in that case, just don't bother
to have that prescription filled.
I'll see if I can get a cab for you.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
Operator? Operator?
Are you ringing that number?
- Did you find her?
- There's no answer in her apartment.
Maybe she went to the Ritz.
I'll get the number.
Why get so excited?
Suppose she does miss a broadcast.
Is Russia marching?
Will Soth Pacfc play?
Stop being profound
and get Jack aspirin.
He's going crazy.
Oh, never mind, here she is now.
Kitty, where have you been?
- Jack's going crazy in there.
- Hi, Walter.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
For heaven's sakes, Kitty.
Do you realize what time it is?
- I'm sorry.
- The next time I marry...
...a knuckle-headed dame.
I'm gonna get a divorce.
- Get my lawyer.
- I'm all out of breath.
- What kept you?
- I had to go up on Fifth Avenue.
[JACK MUTTERING]
Shh! We're on the air.
From coast to coast,
...starring Kitty and Jack Moran.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING
AND AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
- What'd you do that for?
- I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
last week Kitty and Jack promised...
...never to be argumentative
or jealous again.
For a week
they've lived up to their agreement.
We now take you to
the Starlight Roof at the Waldorf...
...where we find them dancing
cheek to cheek.
Do you know why
I wanted to come here tonight?
No, sweetheart, why?
Because this is where
we first fell in love.
But we didn't fall in love
here on the Starlight Roof.
- You have your roofs mixed.
- Now, don't try to tell me...
...where we fell in love.
I had to pay the check.
But you told me you couldn't
afford the Starlight Roof in those days.
You sure you haven't got me mixed up
with Bessy Whatever-Her-Name-Is?
Now, for heaven's sakes,
don't start that again.
Then don't tell me
where we fell in love.
Okay, okay.
Then you tell me.
- In a doctor's office.
- In a doc...
I... When were we ever
at a doctor's office?
Oh, about Christmastime.
JACK:
That champagne I bought youmust have gone to your head.
- What will we be doing at the doctor's?
- Getting some calcium.
Would you change scripts,
because there's nothing about calcium.
We should be in the Starlight Roof
dancing. Cheek to cheek.
Nothing about calcium,
doctor's office or Christma...
Kitty. No.
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
Oh, baby.
I don't remember writing
anything like that.
- You didn't.
- I didn't?
Somebody's gone nuts.
She's just told him
and 23 million bug-eyed listeners...
- ... she's gonna have a baby, that's all.
- A baby?
Mm-hm. What else would the idiot
be carrying on like an idiot about?
Well, if you ask me,
it's a nice day for it.
Begin the song.
The song. "Deductible. "
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
CHORUS [SINGING]:
The bggest complant wherever we go
Is taxes. taxes. taxes
The dough for taxes. taxes. taxes
[SINGING]
Income taxes
People are runnng from store to store
From Macy's up to Saks'
Mobody wants to work any more
Because of ncome taxes
Income taxes
Ths s the knd of thnkng
That could be easly be destructble
Haven't they learned
The more they make
The more there s deductble?
- Deductble
- Deductble
- Deductble
- Deductble
It's deductble
It's deductble
A man can make a phone call
From Jersey to the Coast
It used to be expensve
But today you'll hear hm boast
It's deductble
It's deductble
You gve a pompous party
Pretentous wth your booze
They break up all your furnture
Well. what've you got to lose?
Crazy world
Crazy tmes
Love that world
What's the dfference
If nothng rhymes?
It's uproarous
But t's glorous
If you're the boss
Then you can toss t off
As loss or gan
CHORUS:
Why complan?
[MOUTHING]
Deductble
[SINGING]
We're all nterested n redemptons
How do you get
Your maxmum exemptons?
"The dependent must be
one of the followng:
Grandson. granddaughter.
great-grandson. great-granddaughter
Father. mother. sster. brother
Half sster. half brother
Grandfather. grandmother
Nephew. nece. uncle. aunt
Father-n-law. mother-n-law
Daughter-n-law. brother-n-law
Stepson. stepdaughter. stepfather
Stepmother. stepbrother. stepsster"
I'm tellng you. mster
- They're deductble
- Deductble
- They're deductble
- Deductble
The ol well don't produce
The Texan doesn't worry
'Cause he's got a good excuse
- It's deductble
- Deductble
- It's deductble
- Deductble
Producer gets an angel
Producer gets a flop
The angel doesn't worry
'Cause the flop comes off the top
Crazy world
Crazy tmes
Love that world
What's the dfference
If nothng rhymes
Hey. t's rratonal
But t's natonal
If you decde to take that rde
- And be a brde and groom
- Added room
Deductble
Includng offsprng
Jmmy. Johnny. Dasy. Harry
Randy. Ronny. Maze. Mary
Have all you want
- They're deductble
- They're deductble
ANNOUNCER:
MAN:
Gee, Jack, that's wonderful.JACK:
Thanks.- Say, Jack, that's swell.
- Thank you.
WALTER:
Hey, wait a minute, you two.
- When's the party?
- What party?
You don't have kids
without a clambake.
- Dancing girls...
- Be quiet. You just need an excuse.
It's wonderful.
I'm tickled to death.
Thanks, Janet. I'm excited myself.
Welcome, brother.
I knew you could do it.
It's nothing. Like rolling off a log.
All you gotta do now is learn to knit.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks, Bill.
- Thanks. Good night.
- Wonderful. Good night.
- Well, goodbye.
- Jack...
Can't you see they have
to talk? Leave them.
Don't kid me. If what she said is on
the level, they've already been alone.
Are you really pleased?
After all the time and effort
I put into this project?
How do you think Mr. Milton's
gonna take it?
He'll be jealous, as usual.
He'll wonder
why we didn't consult him.
He'll have to know sooner or later.
Yeah, there's no way out.
Let's break it to him together.
- Hello, Mr. Milton.
JACK:
Hi, Milt.Hello, sweetheart,
how's my boy?
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"My Blue Heaven" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/my_blue_heaven_14306>.
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