My Fair Lady Page #10

"More to blackmail and swindle than teach

"He made it the devilish business of his

"To find out who this Miss Doolittle is

"Every time we looked around

There he was

"That hairy hound from Budapest

"Never leaving us alone

Never have I ever known

"A ruder pest

"Finally I decided it was foolish

Not to let him have his chance with her

"So I stepped aside

And let him dance with her

"Oozing charm from every pore

He oiled his way around the floor

"Every trick that he could play

He used to strip her mask away

"And when at last the dance was done

He glowed as if he knew he'd won

"And with a voice too eager

And a smile too broad

"He announced to the hostess

That she was a fraud"

No!

"'Her English is too good,' he said

'That clearly indicates that she is foreign

"'Whereas others are instructed

In their native language

"'English people aren't

"'Although she may have studied with

an expert dialectician and grammarian

"'I can tell that she was born

"'Hungarian"'

"Not only Hungarian but of royal blood

"She is a princess

"'Her blood,' he said

'Is bluer than the Danube is or ever was

"'Royalty is absolutely written on her face

"'She thought I was taken in

But actually I never was

"'How could she deceive

Another member of her race?

"'I know each language on the map'

Said he

"'And she's Hungarian

As the first Hungarian Rhapsody"'

"Congratulations,

Professor Higgins

"For your glorious victory

"Congratulations, Professor Higgins

"You'll be mentioned in history"

Well, thank God, that's over.

Now I can go to bed

without dreading tomorrow.

Good night, Mr. Higgins.

Good night, Mrs. Pearce.

PICKERING:
I think I'll turn in, too.

Good night. It's been a great occasion.

Good night, Pickering.

Mrs. Pearce?

Damn, I meant to ask her to give me coffee

in the morning instead of tea.

Leave a little note for her will you, Eliza.

And put out the lights.

Must be downstairs. Oh, darn it.

I'll leave my head behind

one of these days.

What the devil have I done

with my slippers?

Here are your slippers!

Take your slippers and may you never

have a day's luck with them.

What on earth? What's the matter?

Is anything wrong?

No, nothing's wrong with you.

I won your bet for you, haven't I?

That's enough for you!

I don't matter, I suppose?

You won my bet?

You presumptuous insect! I won it!

Why did you throw the slippers at me?

Because I wanted to smash your face.

I could kill you, you selfish brute!

Why didn't you leave me

where you picked me up?

You thank God it's all over. Now you can

throw me back again! Do you?

Oh, so the creature's nervous after all?

Claws in, you cat!

How dare you show your temper to me?

Sit down and be quiet!

What's to become of me?

How do I know what's to become of you?

What does it matter?

You don't care. I know you don't care.

You wouldn't care if I was dead.

I'm nothing to you.

Not as much as them slippers.

Those slippers!

Those slippers! I didn't think it meant

any difference now.

Why have you suddenly begun

going on like this?

May I ask if you complain

of your treatment here?

No.

Has anybody behaved badly?

Colonel Pickering, Mrs. Pearce?

No.

Well you don't pretend

that I have treated you badly?

No.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Perhaps you're tired

after the strain of the day.

Would you have a chocolate?

No, thank you.

Well, it's only natural that you should

be anxious, but it's all over now.

Nothing more to worry about.

No, nothing more for you to worry about.

Oh, God, I wish I was dead.

Why? In heaven's name, why?

Now listen to me, Eliza.

All this irritation is purely subjective.

I don't understand. I'm too ignorant.

It's just imagination. Nothing's wrong.

Nobody's hurting you.

Go to bed and sleep it off.

Have a little cry and say your prayers.

You'll feel very much more comfortable.

I heard your prayers.

"Thank God it's all over. "

Don't you thank God it's all over?

Now you're free,

and you can do what you like.

Oh, what am I fit for?

What have you left me fit for?

Where am I to go? What am I to do?

And what's to become of me?

That's what's worrying you, is it?

I wouldn't worry about that if I were you.

I'm sure you won't have any difficulty

in settling yourself somewhere or other.

I didn't quite realize you were going away.

You might marry, you know.

You see, Eliza, all men are not confirmed

old bachelors like me and the Colonel.

Most men are the marrying sort,

poor devils.

You're not bad-looking.

You're really quite a pleasure

to look at sometimes.

Not now, when you've been crying.

You look like the very devil, but...

...when you're all right and quite yourself

you're what I would call attractive.

Go to bed, have a good rest,

get up in the morning...

...and have a look at yourself in the glass.

You won't feel so bad.

I daresay, my mother might find some

fellow or other who would do very well.

ELIZA:
We were above that

at Covent Garden.

What do you mean?

I sold flowers, I didn't sell myself.

Now you've made a lady of me,

I'm not fit to sell anything else.

Oh, tosh, Eliza.

Don't insult human relations...

...by dragging all that cant

about buying and selling into it.

Don't marry the fellow if you don't want to.

What else am I to do?

Oh, there are lots of things.

What about the old idea of a florist shop?

I'm sure Pickering'd set you up in one.

He's got lots of money.

He'll pay for all those togs you're wearing.

And that with the hire of the jewelry'll

make a big hole in 200 pounds.

Come on now. You'll be all right.

Well, I must be off to bed.

I'm really devilish sleepy.

I was looking for something. What was it?

Your slippers.

Oh, yes, of course. You shied them at me.

ELIZA:
Before you go, sir.

Do my clothes belong to me

or to Colonel Pickering?

What the devil use would they be

to Pickering?

Why bother about that

in the middle of the night?

What may I take away with me?

I don't want to be accused of stealing.

Stealing?

You shouldn't have said that.

That shows a want of feeling.

I'm sorry. I'm a common, ignorant girl

and in my station I have to be careful.

There can't be any feelings between

the likes of you and the likes of me.

Please, will you tell me

what belongs to me and what doesn't?

Take the whole damned houseful

if you want.

Except the jewelry. That's hired.

Will that satisfy you?

Stop, please.

ELIZA:
Will you take these to your room

and keep them safe?

I don't want to run the risk

of them being missed.

Hand them over! If these belonged

to me and not the jeweler, I'd...

...I'd ram them down

your ungrateful throat.

The ring isn't the jeweler's.

It's the one you bought me in Brighton.

I don't want it now.

Don't you hit me!

Hit you? You infamous creature!

How dare you suggest such a thing!

It's you who've hit me.

You've wounded me to the heart.

I'm glad. I've got a little

of my own back anyhow.

You've caused me to lose my temper.

That's hardly happened to me before.

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