My Fake Fiance Page #6

something with an empire waist.

No, I'm not preggo.

When am I going to meet this Vince? Wait a minute,

why haven't I met Vince? Has the family met him?

Everyone but Bonnie. Courtney, what do you think of this one?

Sorry, what?

What do you think?

This one's my favourite.

Hi, my name is Ben, and I'm a gambling addict.

ALL:
Hi, Ben.

- What's Up?

Horses were my thing. I spent more time at the track than I

did with my family.

Ugh, I hear you.

And at my lowest point, I was over 300,000 in debt. Thanks to

these meetings, I've been able to control my addictions,

and I haven't placed a bet in over five years.

Way to go.

In fact, I just took my company public. Who would've ever

thought I would be a multimillionaire? I mean, thanks.

Ben shows us what is possible when we work the programme.

I had a feeling you two would hit it off.

Really? Why?

Because I know you, and I know how important loyalty is to

you. And Steve told me that out of all his friends,

Vince is the one guy that he could always count on 24-7.

How is he with his mother? That says a lot about how he'd

be with you.

Well, he's wonderful with her.

- And you said that he gets along with your parents?

- Strangely, yes.

- Well, then he must really love you.

- Forget the parents. How is he at the horizontal hokey-pokey?

- You guys.

- Yeah, David, so rude.

- But can we talk about his body?

- Seriously, he has ab muscles I didn't know existed.

- Oh, my God, you're blushing.

- No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are. I'm not sure I've ever even seen you blush before.

- Aww.

- Ben, hey.

- Hey.

- Vince. Hi. I spoke a little earlier.

- I remember.

- Yeah. Um, listen, your story saved my life tonight, and, uh,

I was just wondering...

- If I'd be your sponsor? Sure. Absolutely.

- Actually, if you'd come to my wedding.

- But we just met.

I know. I know. It's just that you've been such a wealth...

of inspiration to me, Ben.

- If you could write down your name and address,

I would love to send you an invitation.

- Sure, um...

- Paper. Pen.

- Sure. Appreciate it.

- That's great.

- Here you go.

- Thank you. Thanks.

- Thank You.

- See you soon.

- You got it.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhearing. You're not really

getting married, are you?

- Why do you ask?

- It's just that you don't seem like the marrying type, that's all.

- A lot of people keep saying that. Well, I guess I am the type,

because, yes, I am getting married.

- Too bad.

- But not for several weeks.

- I know we're not supposed to gamble any more.

- That's my understanding too.

- That doesn't rule out all risky behaviour, does it?

- What did you have in mind?

- Buy a girl a drink?

- Maybe just one.

That bad?

- You look amazing.

- Where was that one when I was looking?

So, she's a real spitfire, I'll tell you that. She does

not make it easy.

- Well, relationships never are.

- There is something kind of cool about her, something

that just, I don't know, sneaks up on you.

- That's great. Well, this is my stop.

- Be careful getting off.

That'll be up to you.

Well, Mr Gambling Man, of the marrying type, just how

much risk are you willing to take?

- Hey.

- Hey there, Bridezilla.

- What are you doing?

- I made us a lasagna so that we can celebrate.

- Celebrate?

- Yeah, we got our first official wedding gifts today.

- You are now the proud owner of a cupcake carrier and a

cheque for 100 bucks.

- Awesome.

- Oh, hey, um, sorry about last night.

- Last night?

- I should've called and let you know I wasn't going to

come home.

- Oh, did you not come back? I didn't notice.

- Oh. OK, well, good.

- And we're just fake fiances, Vince, remember? It's not

like we're really in love.

- I got it.

You know, at some point we're going to have to talk about our

vows.

- Don't we just repeat what the reverend says?

- Ugh, church vows are so cold and impersonal.

Yeah, I'd hate for our fake vows at our fake wedding to not be from the heart.

Look, all of my family are friends are gonna be there. If the vows are gonna be

fake, I'd still like for them to be impressive.

Can't you just read a poem or something?

Okay, you know what? Never mind. I'll write your vows for you. You don't

have to worry about it.

- What about your vows?

- What do you mean?

You get to write exactly what you want me to say. What about what you're

going to say to me?

I thought I'd just read a poem or something.

What? No, I don't think so. You know what? I'm gonna write your vows.

- Fine.

- Can I get a piece of paper?

- Got an extra pen?

- What is that?

It's a pen.

Okay.

What do you have so far?

"Jennifer, I don't know how loving a person could be until I met you."

- What?

- I just sound like such a loser.

You are a loser.

I don't think I could read that with a straight face.

Well, I don't know if you can even read, period.

You know what? Enjoy the lasagna. I've lost my appetite.

Maybe you left it where you were last night.

Uh.. So now I'm supposed to check with you, my fake fiance.

No, because that would be considerate, something you know

nothing about.

Well, for your information, I walked someone home last night,

and then I slept at my mom's. Why? I have no idea.

Hello?

Oh, my God. OK, I'll be right there.

What happened?

My sister's in the hospital. She had a car accident.

Jennifer!

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Where are Grandma and Grandpa?

- Inside with Mom and Dad.

- They won't let us see Mommy.

They didn't want Samantha to get scared. I have to stay with her.

OK, you guys are gonna be OK out here by yourselves for

a little while?

- Yep. I'm in charge.

- OK, I'll be right back, OK?

- Who's he?

- Some guy.

Bonnie? I'm sorry, hon. I'm so sorry.

Look, I know our relationship has been rocky.

What can I say?

Here's what I can say.

You're my little sister, so I didn't expect you to get married

first. But you did,

and I had to deal with that.

And then Jonathan and Samantha came along, and you guys

were like the picture-perfect family.

And Mom and Dad wanted to spend all their time with you

guys, and I just... I felt like an outsider.

And I admit I was jealous. I'm still jealous.

But if you could just pull through, I promise I'll put all that

behind me.

In fact, I was thinking you'd make a pretty good maid of honour.

All you had to do was ask.

Feel better.

Mom said you were hit by a truck.

Mom!

Those weren't the exact words I used.

No, I was getting some of the kids' stuff out of the attic to give to Goodwill,

and I accidentally stepped on a TOY TRUCK near the stairs.

Thank God you're OK.

So, I guess you heard all that, huh?

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you too.

Come here. Give me a hug.

Hope you guys aren't the type of kids who are used to the adults

letting you win all the time.

It's not gonna be that way tonight. Oh, no, tonight

this game is on. It's on like a night light.

Let's go.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Get rid of this guy! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!

Parade around your leader!

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