My Family Page #2

She was born crazy.

I heard that!

Ha ha! | Come on, hurry up.

Open the door. | Open the door.

Yeah, yeah. | I got it. I got it.

See you outside! | Come on.

That's one of my younger | brothers... Guillermo.

Quite a handle, no?

So everybody called him | just Memo.

Sugar in the morning...

My sister Irene,

finally getting married.

Biggest day of her life.

Here. Let me help you | with your dress.

Hurry up!

Ow!

Irene, what happened

since you were | measured for this?

Pues nada!

They must have made | a mistake or something.

Okay, bend over, huh?

All right, one...

two...

three!

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Put these on!

Apurate! It's my wedding!

Jimmy!

- Sugar in the morning. | - Ha ha!

And there's Jimmy, | the youngest of the family.

He was a real surprise | when he came along,

but he was the heart | of the family.

Hey, little vato!

Chucho!

Ha ha ha! | Hey, look, ese.

You're going to have | the finest pants

in the whole | goddamn wedding.

Look at that crease.

You like them? | What do you say?

Ha!

Come here, you little...

The house just grew and grew | with the family,

and the rooms weren't planned | much more than the kids were,

but it was home,

and my parents were | realizing

that their oldest daughter | was leaving it now.

Now, don't get this wrong.

Of course, they were | both very happy

that Irene was | finally getting married.

There was | no question about it,

it was a real blast.

Ahhh

Ha ha ha.

It nearly ruined | my dad financially,

but he had to show the world

how much his daughter | meant to him.

It took him years to recover, | but then again,

what's money for?

Ow! Oh...

Machismo.

Cheese.

Just a minute. | Just a minute.

You ready?

Okay, everybody, | smile big.

It was customary | for the father of the bride

to say a few words.

Yeah.

My father wasn't a good speaker,

but he had to do his duty.

I want to make a brind...

Uh...

l... I want to make a brindis!

To... to Irene

and my new son Gerardo.

Uh...

well, you finally...

no, I mean, uh...

pues este...

um...

ha ha!

I'm happy! Ha ha! | Felicidades!

Gerardo,

a good wife | is the best thing

that can happen | to a man in his life.

Huh? Uh...

I know, because I have Maria.

Yeah, come on, Maria.

If it wasn't for you, | there wouldn't be anything.

Come on. Get up, Maria.

This is my wife Maria.

Ella es La Mama.

And... and... and

this is my other | daughter Toni, yeah?

And Paco! Paco.

He's in the navy! | Come on over here.

And... and... and, ah, | and Guillermo.

Come on over here.

And Jimmy. Ven, hijo.

Jimmy!

And... and | my son Chucho!

No te hagas rogar.

Uh...

the greatest riches | a man can have in his life...

mi familia.

Mi familia!

Salud! | Salud a todos!

It was one | of the greatest days

in the history of my family.

Ha ha ha!

Jimmy. Ahh...

I'm sorry I stepped | on your foot.

It's okay.

I'm sorry.

Man, I hate | this mariachi sh*t, boy.

My sister Toni was a wow.

All the guys on the whole east side | fantasized about her.

She had been | Queen of the Fiesta,

and every guy hoped that | he might be the lucky one.

I'd give my left nut | for 10 minutes with her

in the back of my Chevy.

Ha ha ha!

Woo!

Their leader was | Butch Mejia

from el rincon.

Of course, | he and my brother

had never really done | anything to each other...

but they were full | of hate and anger

and nowhere to put it, | except into each other.

I hear your fat sister

is getting married, puto.

I feel sorry for that guy

since he has to spend the night | in bed with a pig.

Yes...

and I'll tell you another thing...

los apostoles...

valen verga!

F*** you, puto!

Listen to me, puto cabron.

Today is a very | special day for my family.

I don't want no trouble,

so I give you permission

today...

just today...

to say anything | you want to me,

but I swear to God,

you bust in there,

you make any trouble,

I'll find you, cabron.

I'll cut your dick off

and shove it | down your goddamn throat.

Entiendes

They were both so full | of macho bullshit,

it was incredible.

So go ahead.

Insult me.

I give you permission.

Ha ha ha!

- Itruchanse! | - Ay, culero.

Have it your way, puto,

but this isn't over.

The next time these people | come together,

they're going to be | dressed in black

for your funeral, | pinche puto.

Go home, butch!

Go home, boy!

Don't pay him no mind, eh?

Everybody ready?

Yes! Me!

One... two...

three!

Here. Do it again, Irene.

Que paso, mija

Nada, Mama.

Toni, you're making | your sister feel very bad.

No. I didn't mean to.

It's just...

it's just that I'm never | going to get married.

I can't. | She has to do it again.

But why?

Mama...

I'm going to be a nun.

This is wonderful!

Ha ha ha!

Did you say | something to her?

- This is wonderful! | - Que pasa

Un hombre

Because if it is, | I swear I will...

I have prayed | for something like this to happen!

Maria, | que pasa

Estoy muy orgullosa.

Irene!

Irene!

Throw the bouquet | again mija,

or it will be bad luck | for your sister.

Throw it, mija!

Huh!

Ready?

Somebody explain | what's happening.

Maria? Toni?

Our daughter...

she's going to marry

our Lord Jesus.

She's...

going to be a nun!

- Oh, Mama! | - A nun?

Needless to say,

word of this | spread like wildfire.

A nun?!

Oh, what a waste!

What a goddamn waste!

We all thought | it was a little strange

that Toni wanted | to become a nun,

but then she always was | the bossy type,

and that's the type

that usually | becomes a nun.

One summer night...

Chucho!

Hey, little vato!

Give us a hand!

That was | one summer night...

How you doing?

You guys want to learn | something really hot?

Simon, carnal.

Simon, carnal.

Ha ha! Now, this ain't | like the bullshit

they teach you in school... | you know,

stuff you ain't never | going to need.

This is something | really important.

I'm going to teach you...

to mambo!

Yeah!

Let's go. | Follow me, okay?

Okay, now first

take your left leg

and put it out like this.

One, two, wiggle, wiggle.

One, two, wiggle, wiggle.

Back, two, wiggle, wiggle.

There you go. | Put your arms into it.

Yeah!

One, two. Ha ha!

Okay? Right.

Good!

Come on.

Hey, you guys are good!

That's right!

Ha ha!

Hey!

Ha ha!

That's right. | Let's go.

Come on.

Get it. Come on.

Eddie!

Eddie, | what are you doing?

I told you, I don't want you | playing with no pachuco!

Mommy, | I want to play!

Stay! Ha ha ha!

Okay, mambo steps!

Vete para adentro!

Come on!

Mambo!

Mambo!

Mambo!

Mambo!

Mambo!

Mambo!

Mambo!

Que te metas para adentro.

Mambo!

Mambo!

I said, "Mambo!"

Mambo!

Look, Jimmy.

We take this old corn...

and you break it up,

and then you bury it,

and that feeds the new corn.

We got a big milpa, | huh, Papa

In Michoacan, | we had milpa

that was eight miles long.

The corn was so high

that I once got lost in it.

Ah, yeah.

I walked in there all day.

I didn't even know | where I was.

I was a little chavalito | just like you.

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