My Favorite Wife

No, but you've had

one postponement already.

All right.

All right.

The case is postponed till next Thursday.

- Now, that'll be the 26th.

- Thank you, Your Honor.

- Be here.

- Thank you, Your Honor.

Are the parties ready

in the matter of Ellen Arden?

Yes, here.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

- It'll be very kind of you...

- Just a moment.

- Wasn't I supposed to marry somebody?

- Why, yes. Yes, Your Honor.

Well, let's get it over with.

This can wait.

This is a very complicated case,

this Arden matter.

- Yes, but, Your Honor...

- Yes, it's very complicated.

- If Your Honor please...

- Your Honor.

Wait a minute. What?

- Says what?

- She's dead.

What's that?

Who's dead?

Oh, that's sad. That's very sad.

If Your Honor please...

- You're Arden?

- Yes.

That's what I thought.

Well, Mr. Arden, as I understand it,

your wife, Ellen Wagstaff Arden...

...was a member of

an anthropological expedition...

- ...shipwrecked off the coast of lndochina.

- Yes, Your Honor.

Now, what was she doing on an expedition?

Mother of two infant children.

You'll find the circumstances in my brief.

"Said Ellen Wagstaff Arden was engaged as

a photographer for a three-month period."

You see, in the first place,

we were gonna take the trip together...

...but I got involved in a case and couldn't

leave. We talked it over, and she decided...

...to travel alone. She needed a change.

- Tough time with the children, teething...

- Just the facts. Never mind teething.

- Yes.

- You're a lawyer. Stick to the facts.

Yes, Your Honor.

They're in my brief, sir.

- Well, let me read it. Stop interrupting.

- Yes, Your Honor.

When did you say the ship went down?

Page seven, in September the 3rd, 1 932.

It's page seven, here.

Never mind, never mind. I'll find it.

- No, sir. Page seven. This is page four.

- I know it's four. I know that.

Oh, here it is. Page seven.

That...

"Last seen entering

one of the lifeboats when..."

I can't see. "When a wave..."

Oh, that's very sad. Very sad.

What the...? Hey. Young woman.

What do you think you're doing?

Put that confounded mirror away.

- Do you want to blind me?

- I'm very sorry.

Ought to wash her face instead of paint it.

You know there's such a thing

as contempt of court, don't you?

Don't let me get after you.

- Now, where was I?

- Page seven, the shipwreck.

What efforts did you make

to trace your wife?

Page eight. I went to Bangkok

and interviewed all available survivors...

...who agreed that

Ellen Wagstaff Arden had been...

"Swept overboard before aid

could reach her. Deposition..."

Quiet.

- Yes, but I can explain...

- There's nothing to explain.

Nothing to explain at all.

Testimony's here. Sworn affidavits.

No evidence to the contrary.

The law is clear.

I hereby pronounce Ellen Wagstaff Arden

legally dead.

Wasn't I supposed to marry somebody?

- Yes, sir. Us.

- What? What's that?

- Are you gonna get married again?

- Yes, Your Honor.

Are you sure you've had time

to think it over?

- Your honor, Mr. Arden is over 21 .

- Not now, Bianca.

All right. Hold hands.

"We're here in the presence of witnesses

to join in matrimony this man and woman...

...according to the powers vested in me

by the laws of the state..."

- Is this it?

- Yeah.

Thanks for the lift.

- What are you crying about, sister?

- This is my house. I live here.

- So what? ls that bad?

- No.

Bye.

- Watch me do a swan dive!

- I can do it better than you!

- Watch me this time!

- You're not supposed to run.

Last one in is a jerk

on this Greenline Express!

- Watch me.

- I don't wanna go in.

Boy, it's like an iceberg in here.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Hello there.

- Hello.

Are you a lady or a man?

- Well, I used to be a lady.

- Are you a sailor?

- A lady sailor?

- Well...

My mother was like a sailor.

She went down at sea.

- Oh, he's always boasting.

- I am not boasting.

My mother drowned in the Pacific Ocean.

We're not supposed to know.

- Do you miss her very much?

- Oh, sure.

- Would you like to have her back?

- Can't have her back. She's drowned.

I'm a human fly.

We put flowers on her grave

every Easter with Daddy.

- You do?

- Then Daddy buys us burgers and root beer.

- Do you mind those braces very much?

- Yes, I do.

Daddy says he doesn't want her

to grow up and look like a moose.

What a thing to say.

Well, hello.

- Come here, Corky.

- Oh, how are you?

- Corky, get away from there.

- He never acts that way with strangers.

My, you've gotten fat.

Sure, he's fat. He's old.

He's as old as me.

Corky, do as I tell you.

Is your grandmother in?

I forgot. We're not allowed

to talk to strangers.

- Is your grandmother in?

- Pardon me. We can't talk to strangers.

Come here, Corky. Come on.

Come on, Corky. Come on.

Come on. Attaboy!

...to the exchange department.

I've already phoned them.

They know all about it.

You'll find the package in my room.

I want you to get flowers for the bedrooms.

- Any particular kind, Ma?

- I think she likes tea roses.

- Yes, Ma.

- That's all.

- Yes? What is it?

- Hello, darling.

Ellen.

Good heavens. Ellen!

Now, now. Now, take it easy.

Here, take some of this.

Come on. It'll do you good.

There.

- You all right, Ma?

- I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.

- Bless your heart.

- After all these years, it just isn't possible.

- Oh, is it really you, Ellen?

- Of course it is.

- How's Nicky?

- Nicky?

Yes. Your son, my husband.

He's all right, isn't he?

- Oh, yes. Nicky's fine. Fine.

- Oh, good.

Ellen, where have you been?

Latitude 12, longitude 128.

I'd still be there if a Portuguese freighter

hadn't wandered 200 miles off-course.

What?

It was a very small freighter. Very dirty.

- Mother?

- Yes?

- May I have a bath?

- Of course, dear.

Right now.

- I'm sorry I gave you such a fright.

- Oh, it was nothing.

Oh, that's new, isn't it?

Oh, I like that.

I'm so confused,

I don't know where to begin.

- Oh, by the way, how was my funeral?

- Lovely.

- Dr. Blake preached a wonderful sermon.

- Oh, I wish I'd been there.

Oh, this was wonderful.

First hot bath in years.

- Tell me about Nicky. Handsome as ever?

- I think so.

- Prosperous?

- Oh, yes.

Where is he now, still at the office?

Ellen, there's something

I've got to tell you.

Nick's married again.

He is?

- Is she nice?

- No.

Do I know her? Nancy Beal, I'll bet.

She always had her eye...

No. He met this one on the boat,

when he went to look for you.

On the b...

That's one thing I never thought of...

...Nick's marrying again.

- Just how long did he wait?

- Well, he got married this morning.

- This morning?

- Went off to Yosemite for the honeymoon.

Don't say they're at the same hotel we...

Well, Nick had some business

in San Francisco.

What are you going to do?

- Have you got anything I can wear?

- I saved a few of your old things.

- Good. Think we can find something nice?

- I think so. Maybe a little long, but...

Oh, I wonder, do planes fly to Yosemite?

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