My Fellow Americans

v 0.1

It has been described as one of

the most vicious presidential races...

...in the history

of American politics...

...and one of the closest.

The Republican nominee

Senator Russell P. Kramer of Ohio...

...is practically dead even

in the polls with is bitter rival...

...democratic Governor

Matt Douglas of Indiana.

To say there is no love lost

between these two candidates...

...is a gross understatement.

Yet to night, in spite of their almost

overwhelming distaste for each other...

...one man will have to

salute the other...

...as the next President

of the United States.

Thank you.

Thank you. God bless you.

What was once a dream.

...is now a reality.

I've always said that our dreams

are like our children.

They need our encouragement

and support to grow.

They must be nurtured

and sheltered...

...but...

...allowed to run free.

We are here to help your dream

become real, America.

And I'm confident

that we'll be here...

...for a long, long time to come.

And so it appears

the American people have spoken.

A few minutes ago...

...I congratulated Governor Douglas

on his victory.

We fought bravely,

but for us the time has come...

...to stand behind

our new president...

...and put aside any feelings

of ill will...

...rancor...

...hostility...

...and serious doubts about

this man's ability to lead a nation...

...that I hope none of us feels.

A funny thing happened...

...on the way to the office tonight.

I got elected President

of the United States.

A funny thing happened

on the way to the hotel tonight.

Now. The people have spoken.

Maybe we don't agree with them.

Congratulations.

What a night.

It's time, sir.

Well, all right then.

Shall we greet the nation

Mr. Vice President-elect.

I guess, but are we sure it's official?

President Douglas just conceded.

I'd say that's a good sign.

Let's go.

I have always believed that dreams...

...are like children.

They need encouragement

and support to grow.

But ultimately...

...it is perseverance that will turn

a dream into a reality...

...countries into world powers...

...and your own Hiroshi Ashino...

...into Matsamuda's insurance

Underwraiter of the Year.

Pleasure. Good. Congrats.

What?!

Jesus Christ!

The thing just grabbed me.

Am I supposed to knock it down?

- You handled it very well.

- You think so?

Tomorrow there'll be a picture of me...

...dancing with a giant dog

in every newspaper on this planet.

It was a panda, sir.

What's the difference?

Why a Japanese company would-?

I don't care.

Did Jefferson dance with a bear?

Did Lincoln?

Did Reagan foxtrot with a panda?

I'll check...

I was President of the United States

I don't dance with animals.

No dancing with animals.

- A message from the president.

- Thanks, Jim.

Jim's off today. I'm Bruce.

Sorry.

You and Jim look alike.

Jim's black sir.

I know.

But you're both...

...tall.

He's sending me to another funeral.

I can't believe I just did it

with Matt Douglas.

You were the leader

of the free world.

My mother has a commemorative plate

with your face on it.

You haven't said anything

about my book.

The new draft better?

I'm your editor. Keep in mind,

I'm supposed to be critical.

It stinks, right?

No, it doesn't- I would never-

It is pretty stinky. Sorry.

You spend too much of the book

talking about what you wanted to do...

...not what you did.

I didn't do much.

How's that for honesty?

I believe this is yours.

Look, Joanna...

...if the book goes or not...

...i don't care.

I'm writing it, cause

I don't know what else to do.

You've got plenty of options.

Not really.

But I'll never be like Kramer...

...running around sucking up

every dime that isn't nailed down.

Jimmy Carter, there's a class act.

He goes around building homes

for poor people with his own hands.

You could do that.

Yeah, maybe in a couple years.

Right now my attitude is...

"They didn't vote for me

let them freeze. "

That was too easy.

You're getting soft.

We really wish you wouldn't do that.

You put yourself at risk.

Right. Let me ask you...

...in the years ex-presidents

have had Secret Service protection...

...has there ever been even

one assassination attempt?

No, sir.

I find that sad.

The minute you're out

of the office...

...they don't care enough

to kill you anymore.

Before we go in...

...we'd like to know how you got

out of the stall without us seeing.

Why don't you guys relax?

Take a night off.

Go rent "In the Line of Fire" again.

We'll be in Air Force One shortly,

President Douglas.

I hate funerals It's awful when

another good Democrat passes on.

I believe the deceased

was a Republican.

Then it might not be so bad.

Hello, baby.

Daddy's home.

There's the old seat.

President Douglas.

President Kramer.

Well, that covers that.

Russell...

...i just have to ask.

When you dance with a panda...

...who leads?

Are you working on your book?

I find writing very gratifying.

I must.

I've written seven books

on my years at the helm.

You've obviously got

a great knack for fiction.

And how is Mrs. Douglas?

We're in the middle of a divorce.

I knew that, didn't I?

I guess life in the White House

put a strain on your marriage.

It was being out of the White House

that Katherine couldn't stand.

That's funny.

It went over well

with the rest of the country.

Want to compare popularity polls?

Let's talk about popularity.

There was only. one assassination

attempt on me. You had three.

Two the woman in Phoenix does

not count! She had a starter pistol!

Stop.

Just stop.

We're here because a man died.

We can attempt some semblance

of civility, can't we?

I know I can.

You're a whore, admit it.

Admit you're a big whore.

Name three women in Dc. you

didn't bang when you were in office.

What am I talking? Name one.

- Screw you.

- Blow me.

When I appointed

General Charles Sherman...

.to the Joint Chiefs...

...i knew he was a man

with a dream.

I have always believed

that dreams are like our children.

Buy a new speech, Russell.

That dead general's lucky.

He won't have to hear it again.

Grab me a towel, will you?

I don't like to interrupted

while on the bike. What's going on?

I'm afraid a situation's come up.

The Democrats may have some

damaging information about...

...olympia...

Olympia?

We've had that buried for years.

I was thinking...

...when all this took place,

Kramer was President.

Possibly we can lay the scandal on him.

He didn't know anything about it.

Could always make it appear he did.

A little fiddling with the records,

some rewriting of history.

I don't know, Carl.

That's tricky stuff.

That'd open a whole new bag of cats.

My honest opinion. If this matter

isn't taken care of immediately...

...no less than the presidency

is at stake.

Don't worry. I can promise this

is the last you'll hear about it.

Hear about what?

Mrs Sherman told me

Charlie had a favorite song.

One that cheered him up.

Please God,

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