MY GIRL

MY GIRL:

By

My Girl (1991)

Directed by

Howard Zieff

Writing credits

Laurice Elehwany

Setting:
MADISON, PENNSYLVANIA 1972

START:

CLOSE UP OF VADA

VADA:

(to camera)

I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet

seat at a Truck stop and caught hemorrhoids.

And i've learned to live with this chicken

Bone that's been lodged in my throat for the

past three years, so I knew Dad would be

devastated when he learned of my latest

affliction.

(to Harry)

Dad, I don't wanna upset you, but my left

breast is developing at a significantly faster

rate than my right. It can only mean one

thing. Cancer. I'm dying.

HARRY:

(ignoring Vada)

O.K. Sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of

the fridge.

FRONT OF SULTENFUSS' HOUSE

Vada closes front door and goes down the steps to a group

of boys

VADA:

All right, who's in raise your hand.

All the boys raise their hands except Thomas J

BOY:

Are you coming or not Thomas J?

THOMAS J:

I don't think so.

VADA:

I knew he wouldn't come.

THOMAS J:

I can't, I have to go home.

BOY#2

Yeah, to play with his DOLLS.

VADA:

Leave him alone! Come on, let's go.

Group of boys enters house lead by Vada

Once inside, the group is suddenly stopped

VADA:

(to boy#2)

Hey, you didn't pay me!

BOY#2

How do I know you were gonna show us one?

VADA:

You're such a baby.

BOY#2

All right, here.

Boy reaches inside his pocket, gets money out and gives it

to Vada

VADA:

All right, follow me and don't say a word.

They walk towards two large doors, stop, and Vada turns

around

You ready?

They enter the coffin display room, and move over to the

coffin in the middle of the room

You sure you wanna see it, or is someone

gonna go yellow belly?

BOY#3

I'm not chicken!

VADA:

Okay. Lean forward.

A tense moment as the coffin lid is flung open by Vada and

the boys gasp as they look inside

GIRL#1

It's empty!

BOY#2

You're so weird!

BOY:

I want my money back!

VADA:

I was afraid of this.

They begin to move into another part of the house

BOY#2

Of what??

VADA:

Well, sometimes when we get 'em, they're not

completely dead, you know, like when they cut

a chickens head off and it still runs around

crazy.

BOY#3

You're full of sh*t.

VADA:

I bet she's roaming around this house

somewhere.

They open the door into the living room, where Grammoo is

in her rocking chair

There she is, in the rocking chair.

Pause, then Grammoo begins to rock the chair gently. The

boys all gasp and then all exit very quickly

VADA:

Hi Grammoo.

Vada seats herself upon Grammoo's lap

HARRY:

(in distance, from

downstairs)

Vada would you bring down my cigarettes?

Vada gets up and begins to leave

VADA:

Seeya later.

(kisses Grammoo on forehead)

BASEMENT, HARRY & ARTHUR WORKING ON MR. LAYTON

HARRY:

Did I tell you, he was my woodshop teacher.

ARTHUR:

You took woodshop?

HARRY:

Yeah, I made a tie rack.

ARTHUR:

I made a tie rack.

Vada comes down the stairs and stops just before the corner

that would allow her to see the corpse of Mr. Layton

VADA:

Ahem.

HARRY:

Vada, just put 'em on the stool.

Vada places the packet on a stool

VADA:

Daddy guess what I beat Thomas J in monopoly

yesterday.

HARRY:

(completely ignoring Vada's

comment)

Ya, that rack holds six ties.

ARTHUR:

I still have mine.

Vada recognizes Arthur's voice

VADA:

Arthur!!

ARTHUR:

Vada!!

VADA:

I beat Thomas J in monopoly yesterday.

ARTHUR:

Good for you baby.

VADA:

Once you put the hotels on board walk and

Park Place he puts a shoe in your way.

ARTHUR:

I like to buy off all the railroads.

Harry is slightly annoyed at Vada distracting them

HARRY:

Vada, we're trying to work here.

CAMPER PULLS UP OUTSIDE SULTENFUSS HOUSE

BASEMENT:

VADA:

Cruella deville stole all the puppies, she

was gonna make a fur out of 'em!

HARRY:

(to Arthur)

Hand me the canula.

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