My Life Without Me Page #6

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I'm just heading out for about half

an hour'cause both my husband

and my mom aren't back yet.

I was wondering if there was any chance

of you keeping an eye on them

for the next half hour if you're around.

- Of course. No problem.

- Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm going to be here all day

and they were going to show me

how to do some spells, so...

There you go.

They're very good at spells, so...

- Okay.

- Thanks a lot.

Bye, guys.

You behave yourselves, okay?

Ann's gonna watch you for a little bit.

- Thank you so much.

- It's okay.

So, help me here.

Who's Patsy and who's Penny?

My body hurt

thinking you weren't gonna come.

I wasn't gonna come.

I'm glad you did.

Is this one of your sister's tapes?

Yeah.

Would you like to dance?

...and then the Little Mermaid

said to the Taxi Driver

"I wanna see New York City.

Please, show me New York. "

'Cause it's so big. You can't...

you can't just walk around New York.

So the taxi driver took her

to the Empire State Building,

and you know it's so high

it has two elevators

because they couldn't find

just one cable to build one, you know?

They had to build two.

So he got on the first elevator

and then on the second elevator

that's as fast as a space rocket,

and they got to the top

of the Empire State building

and the Little Mermaid was looking down

and she said

"Oh, my God. People look like ants,

they're so small... "

Hey, guys. Hello, there.

We played witches and princesses.

And Ann did our braids.

Oh, they look beautiful. Thank you, Ann.

I'm sorry I took so long.

No, that was fine.

We had a great time.

- Were you guys good?

- Yeah.

Good. Want your witches hats?

Tomorrow can you finish the story

about the mermaid

- and the taxi driver?

- Of course. My pleasure.

Give Ann a kiss goodbye.

We have to go have bath

and supper time now,

but maybe we can come back

and hear the end of that story, okay?

Thank you so much, Ann.

Let's go.

- Hey, Ann?

- Yeah?

I was just going to make some coffee.

Do you want to come over?

Great.

Just let me finish doing this.

Okay.

- Do you take sugar?

- No, no it's alright.

You're not on a diet, are you?

No. Why? Should I?

No. I just have this friend

who's obsessed with diets

and calories and...

Boring.

No, and I've seen too many people

sick with anorexia and bulimia.

- I'm a nurse. That's why.

- Is that so?

So I'm not really bothered.

You know, you've got really cute kids.

Yeah, they're great, aren't they?

What about you? You want kids?

No, I don't think so.

Why not? I mean,

you think it's stupid

to bring them into the world, or?

Just haven't found

the right guy, or?

No, I haven't.

No, but it's not that either, no.

Do you think you can't?

No. Well,

I don't know, actually.

But...

I was in my last year

of nursing college.

We were doing some work experience

in a paediatric hospital.

I'd decided to specialize in kids,

because I've always liked them.

Maybe because I was an only child.

I don't know. Anyway,

one night I was on duty,

and they called me in

to help with a birth.

This woman was overdue,

she was expecting twins,

and the babies were in danger.

So they decided to do

a caesarean

and the mother was put

under a general anaesthetic.

And...

it turned out they were Siamese twins.

They were born without one torso...

one set of lungs...

they hardly cried.

They weren't horrible to look at.

No, they were just like any other baby.

But

there was no way

they were going to survive.

It's impossible.

So we put them in an incubator

while the doctors talked to the father

about what they should do.

The father didn't even wanna see them.

So they decided to take them out

of the incubator

and wait for them to die.

And I offered

to be with them until they...

I couldn't bear the thought of them

dying alone

in a cold hospital room.

They lived thirty hours.

I held them in my arms thirty hours.

I sang every song I knew,

songs from the world

they could never see, but...

Anyway, they just grew smaller

and smaller in my arms.

First the boy died, and...

six hours later the girl died.

So... since then I've specialized

in geriatric nursing.

I'm so sorry, Ann.

I don't know

why I told you this story.

Thanks for the coffee.

You know what? I better be going.

No, I'm sorry.

Do you want to come over

for dinner next week?

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, no, I would really love you to.

I know the girls

would really love it too,

because you have to tell them

the end of that mermaid story,

they love that story.

I'd love to, Ann.

And you know,

that story is happy.

Thank you so much,

I'd love to.

Read me something.

Read me something

that you're reading right now.

I'm reading a very sad book

at the moment.

Beautiful, but sad.

It can't be as sad

as the story I heard today.

Tell it to me.

I can't.

It'll make me too sad.

You don't wanna tell it to me

because its part of your life,

and you don't want me to know

anything about your life.

I like it that you don't ask me

anything about my life.

I don't ask you anything

because I've learned not to.

When you look at somebody,

you might see

fifty per cent

of who they are,

and wanting to know the rest,

that's what destroys everything.

That's what I learnt.

Whoever took away your furniture

really taught you a lesson, eh?

That's all she left me.

- You really want me to read you something?

- Please.

Read me something.

Okay.

Pick something.

"To the Wedding"

by John Berger.

"Her capacities go out one by one,

and there's no night,

no stars,

only a cellar from which

she can never walk

and which nobody else

can stay.

She's given medicines

which make her ill,

but would stop her dying.

For a little while.

They're scared.

I'm scared. "

You know, I don't think it was that bad.

No, I like it.

Ljust don't want to read right now.

I lied.

When I said that when you look at

somebody you know fifty per cent.

I guess when I look at you I see,

I don't know, maybe ten per cent...

and that ten per cent is...

It's not so bad. Is it?

It's my birthday today.

Wish me a happy birthday.

Happy birthday, mom.

Aren't you going to start the car?

I've got something to tell you, Mom.

It must be serious, otherwise

you'd tell me while you were driving.

I need to know

where my Dad is.

Are you going to go and see him?

Because that bugs you?

No,

not even that can make me mad anymore.

This time last year,

this very same day,

my birthday,

I thought I should do something,

I don't know why.

So I... I put on some makeup

and the least old clothes

I could find

and I went to a bar.

And I ordered a whisky

and started talking to

the bartender.

He was just a kid,

he'd just started at the hotel,

it was his first job,

and we chatted about this and that,

and I told him it was my birthday.

About five minutes later

he presented me with a bowl of peanuts

with a candle in.

And I...

I started to cry.

I cried so hard the kid got scared,

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