My Little Chickadee Page #2

I hope that wasn't whiskey

you were drinking.

No, dear, just a little sheep dip.

Panacea for all stomach ailments.

Godfrey Daniel.

Tell me, prairie flower...

can you give me the inside info...

on yon damsel with a hot house cognomen.

- You mean Miss Flower Belle Lee?

- I don't mean some woman out in China.

Well, I'm afraid I can't say anything good

about her.

I can see what's good. Tell me the rest.

On account of her carryings-on

in Little Bend, she was asked to leave town...

and she will not be permitted to return

until she is respectable and married.

Furthermore, I don't think

she'll be received in Greasewood City.

In fact, I don't think she'll be permitted

to step off the train.

I hope she don't get too violent. I haven't

strength enough to knock her down.

Well, goodbye.

The days of chivalry are not over.

Baby doll...

these weed benders have been running off

at the mouth to your detriment.

I ain't surprised. Bad news travels fast.

I understand you need a cicerone, a guide.

I need more than that, honey.

What symmetrical digits.

Soft as the fuzz on a baby's arm.

But quick on the trigger.

Yes. May I?

Help yourself.

Would you object if I avail myself

of a second helping?

Don't you think you're a little forward

on such short acquaintance?

You're compromising me.

May I present you with a little amulet...

that I received from Aga Khan...

when I was in the Himalayas?

It's just a little thing.

The Aga and I were very good friends.

What a pretty sentiment.

A lonesome heart. That's what I am.

It is not good for a man to be alone.

It's no fun for a woman, either.

Is it possible for us

to be lonesome together?

Quite possible.

I will be all things to you:

Father, mother, husband, counsellor, Jackanapes, bartender...

You're offering quite a bundle, honey.

My heart is a bargain today.

Will you take me?

I'll take you and how.

I am the happiest mortal alive.

Miss Flower Belle has consented to be my lawfully wedded wife.

How wonderful.

I'm so happy for you, my dear.

That makes everything all right, doesn't it?

You're redeemed.

Not yet. We've got to see a preacher first.

I beg your pardon, but I'm not...

Excuse me.

See, they think you're a preacher. You look

like one, now you've got to act like one.

Yes, but l...

I'm in a predicament. I'm depending on you.

You're my ace in the hole.

You got to do this for me.

Besides, he's got a bag full of money.

Well, of course,

this is rather unusual for me...

but under the circumstances, I'll deal.

I mean, I'll officiate.

We'll need a ring.

My dear, I will be your witness.

I think I have one here that will fit.

The fourth digit of the left hand.

Sorry I didn't have

a little goose grease with me.

Perfect.

Yes, I guess that'll do the trick.

Shall we commence?

Of course, you're both acquainted

with the rules of the game...

I mean, with the requirements of matrimony.

I got a pretty good idea.

Very well.

Now, do you, Flower Belle Lee...

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Allow me to congratulate you. And you, sir.

Thank you.

As is customary,

the groom will kiss the bride.

- Greasewood City.

- Congratulations. Hope you're very happy.

Greasewood. Have to get out.

- Congratulations, I'm a married man myself.

- You look it.

I'm so happy for you, my dear.

I know you'll be happy, dear.

I hope it ain't one of the guests.

- Like a cosy little nest.

- Don't start crowing too soon.

Crowing. Very good.

Two rooms, if you don't mind.

Pass. The bridal suite.

We're married, you know.

I'll take the suite. Give him the room.

Yes, ma'am.

But my dove. My little dove.

Come right up this way.

My little dove pie.

I'm not speaking to you.

My little sugar-coated wedding cake.

A couple of house d*cks.

Thank you.

Evidently an Ethiopian in the fuel supply.

Seems to me I'm getting the old "heave-ho."

- Here's your room, sir.

- Leave it there. I'll find it.

Telegram for Mrs. Twillie.

Shove it under the door.

I'll take it down. Leave it in the office.

By the way, my ski shoes and hockey bats

will be on the next train. Along with a polo pony.

I understand the countryside

abounds here with wild game. flamingos, flying wombats, Indian civets.....

Egad, the child's afraid of me. She's all a-twit.

Come, my phlox, my flower.

I have some very definite pear-shaped ideas

that I'd like to discuss with thee.

Come, open.

You can't come in. Go away, I'm dressing.

I'm as gentle...

Gentle as a forest-bred lion.

And keep away from that keyhole.

It was the cat, dear. Listen, didn't you promise to love,

honour, and be obedient?

Don't be old-fashioned.

Be a good boy and run along.

Why don't you look the town over?

What an unselfish little rose petal

you are, to be sure.

Must be Big Chief's new tepee.

Milton, my brave.

Go upstairs and park your stoical presence outside the tepee of Mrs. Twillie.

Number 8.

I'll proceed to the local gin mill

and absorb a beaker of firewater.

Big Chief gottum new squaw?

"New" is right.

She hasn't been unwrapped yet.

It certainly pays to be a good woman.

Yes, Squawk. It's been 20 years ago,

come rapadance...

since you and I tended bar together

in The Old Buster House down on lower Broadway.

- Seems like yesterday.

- Yes, it does.

Squawk and I tended bar together,

20 years ago, down on lower...

My name's Twillie, Cuthbert J. Twillie.

One of the old Back Bay Twillies.

Thank you. I'm glad to know you, too.

Make yourself at home, Twillie.

If you still care to play cards,

there's always a game.

Naturally. There may be a game of flinchback there, too. I was very good at...

In the alcove there.

Thanks.

Well, I'll see you later

and we'll have another little conversation.

I'll raise it $100.

I'll make it $200.

Playing lone hand?

Up to now.

Would you like to engage in a little game of Cut?

The higher card wins?

- What stakes?

- Make it easy on yourself.

- $100, gold.

- I'll cover that.

I'm travelling a little light.

The country is fraught with marauders.

I'll give you my personal IOU.

A thing I seldom give to strangers.

That IOU better be good.

Worth its weight in gold.

King.

Don't show me the cards.

A gentleman's game.

I don't want to look at it.

Ace.

I didn't see it.

Very well, here you are, Nosy Parker.

Ace. I hope that satisfies

your morbid curiosity.

Shall we have another go at it?

Probably at some future date. Excuse me.

Open game, gentlemen?

Deal me in. Give me $100 worth of chips.

$100 worth.

$100.

That's my stack.

Well, from the little acorn

grew the mighty oak.

Beginner's luck, gentlemen.

Although I have devoted some time to the game.

Play cards.

Thank you.

During one of my treks

through Afghanistan...

we lost our corkscrew and were compelled

to live on food and water...

Will you play cards?

...for several days. Yes, thank you. Yeah.

Take care of things, Pete.

I'm going out.

All right, Mr. Carter.

Where?

One of those city-slickers?

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