My Man Godfrey Page #6

All the beans and things?

We're rounding them up

and putting them in cans.

- How are you, darling?

- What does it matter how I am?

- The whole thing is only a delusion.

- What thing?

- You wouldn't understand.

- Well, I don't so far.

I'm famished.

How about something to eat?

Oh, Godfrey,

bring Mr. Gray a sandwich.

It's your play. Well, come around here

Mr. Gray's not an acrobat.

What's come over you? You're beginning

to act like the rest of the family.

- Hey, wait a minute!

- What's the trouble?

Godfrey Parke, you old mug!

- Oh, do you know Godfrey?

- We went to Harvard together.

I'm afraid you've confused me with

someone else. I'm Smith, remember?

Sure, you're Smith.

We did go to college together?

- Or did we?

- A butler with a college education.

- He's not really the butler?

- And a very good one.

You mean, this is not a gag

just for my benefit?

Mr. Gray neglected to tell you that when

we were in Harvard, I was his valet.

- Was he a good servant, Tommy?

- Excellent.

- What's the idea?

- I'll tell you later.

- Mr. Gray never complained.

- When?

No, I had very few complaints

about Godfrey's work.

I'll tell you tomorrow.

It's my day off.

Strange, you never gave

Mr. Gray as a reference.

You see, I left Mr. Gray under

very unusual circumstances.

- What circumstances?

- I'd rather Mr. Gray told you.

Well, don't go away.

Come here and tell us all about it.

Godfrey's a very mysterious person.

Nobody seems to know about him.

- Don't go away, Godfrey.

- No, no, don't go away, Godfrey.

You see, I didn't want to say

anything about this.

But, you see, Godfrey had been working

for us as a butler and whatnot,

and things had been

going along very well...

when all of a sudden it happened...

just like that.

You're sure you want me

to tell all this, Godfrey?

Well, you see, as I said,

he'd been working for us for some time,

when one day he came to me and said,

"Mr. Gray, I trust my work

has always been satisfactory. "

I said, "Why, of course. I've never had

more satisfactory work in all my life. "

And he said,

"Thank you, Mr. Gray. "

He was always

a very courteous man, Godfrey.

Godfrey is still extremely courteous,

especially in the morning.

Well, it's not much of a story.

Maybe we'd better skip it.

Come on, Tommy, finish it.

You can't stop in the middle.

- Where was I?

- Telling us how polite Godfrey was.

And that's where I said that

Godfrey was still very polite.

Thank you, Mrs. Bullock. It's

a pleasure to have you say so publicly.

That's my nature. I never say anything

behind your back I won't say in public.

That's what I admire

about you, Angelica.

That's nice of you, Tommy.

What about the story?

Well, anyway, Godfrey said, "I trust

my work has been satisfactory, sir. "

That was about the gist of it,

wasn't it, Godfrey?

Those may not have been my exact words,

sir, but that was about the gist of it.

We'll settle for that.

You said he was very satisfactory.

He said thank you,

and then what?

- I had to take an attitude.

- What kind of an attitude?

Well, the only kind I could take

toward a faithful servant.

But Godfrey decided in favor

of his wife and five children.

- Five children? My, my!

- Five.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Was his wife

an Indian woman?

She was rather dark. We used to take

her on hunting trips to stalk the game.

Godfrey! Why didn't you tell me

you had five children?

Why shouldn't Godfrey

have five children?

If a woman in Canada can have five

children, why can't Godfrey? You see?

I owe the creation of my family

to Mr. Gray's generosity.

Well, if other people can have

five children, so can other people.

Personally, I think two are plenty,

and Bullock agrees with me.

Listen, everybody, I want

to make an announcement about something.

What do you want

to announce?

- I'm going to be married.

- Married? To whom?

- Well, you'll find out soon enough.

- Not Charlie Van Rumple?

- Yes, Charlie Van Rumple. Where is he?

- He's at the bar.

I've had my arm around her before,

but this is the first time

I ever felt that chill.

- Congratulations, old boy.

- Congratulations about what?

- Your engagement, you slug.

- What engagement?

Why, you're engaged

to Irene, aren't you?

- Am I?

- Don't be ga-ga! Come on!

- I hear we're engaged.

- You said it.

- When did it happen?

- Just now.

- What's all the excitement?

- I think she's got herself engaged.

Oh, has she again? It must

be that nice boy in the brown suit.

Let's go and congratulate them.

You're a lucky boy.

I know I am.

I'm not Van Rumple.

- Oh, you're not? Which one is he?

- There he is.

You'll pardon me, I hope.

- You're Van Rumple, aren't you?

- Oh, yes.

- Oh, you'll take good care of her.

- I imagine so.

My mind's a little cloudy.

I don't even remember proposing.

You're always proposing.

- Which one did you take me up on?

- All of them.

How do you think Godfrey'll

feel about your engagement?

- What has Godfrey got to do with it?

- I wonder.

- You mind your own business.

- All right, let's have those.

- Come on, everybody.

- Are you going to congratulate Irene?

- She just got herself engaged.

- I'd be very happy to.

Godfrey, come congratulate Irene.

May I congratulate you, Miss Irene?

I wish you all

the happiness in the world.

Just leave her alone.

She'll be all right in a minute.

- Is she mad at me?

- She's not mad at anybody.

Women always cry at their own

engagements and other people's weddings.

- Why?

- I don't know why, but they just do.

Irene is so peculiar. She shouts when

she weeps and cries when she's happy.

- Alexander, you missed the excitement.

- What's going on?

I knew what I wanted to say,

but somehow it slipped my mind.

- What's the matter with Irene?

- Oh, yes, that's it!

- Irene's got engaged.

- To whom?

Van something or other. I think he's

that boy with his arm around that girl.

- He's got lots of money.

- He'll need it.

Godfrey, let's you and I

have a good cry.

How about lunch

by my hotel tomorrow?

Yes, sir. Do you prefer

soda or ginger ale?

- Both. 12:
00?

- Very good, sir.

Make up your mind just who she's going

to marry. I'd like to meet the guy.

I don't know, Alexander.

It's one of those boys in there.

Come along, now.

You're not eating well

this morning, sir.

- You notice everything.

- Business trouble, sir?

What made you ask that?

Well, sir, butlers can't help picking

up scraps of news, shall we say?

We shan't say

anything about it.

I thought I might be

of some help, sir.

I dabbled in the market

at one time.

One dabbler in the family

is quite enough.

- Very good, sir. Your eggs.

- No, thank you.

Godfrey, you seem to be

a pretty good sort.

Have you noticed anything queer

about me lately?

Nothing particularly, sir.

I sometimes wonder whether my whole

family's gone mad or whether it's me.

I know how you feel. I've felt that

way many times since I've been here.

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