My Man Godfrey Page #7

Then why do you stay here?

I have to; you don't.

It's much more comfortable than living

in a packing box on the city dump, sir.

Besides, I'm rather proud

of my job here.

- You're proud of being a butler?

- Proud of being a good butler.

And I may add, sir, a butler

has to be good to hold his job here.

Say... who are you?

I'm just a nobody, sir.

Coffee?

Godfrey, here I am.

So you've turned up at last, eh?

I began to think

you had fallen down the kitchen sink.

Sorry I'm late, Tommy.

It's hard to make beds full of people.

Waiter! You seem to do everything

except put out the cat.

I suppose I'd do that too,

only we have no cat.

The same for me.

What will you have, Jarvis, my man?

Make it a rousing

old lemonade.

Lemonade? You sure

you can handle it?

Oh, yes, I'm the type who

can take it or leave it alone.

You see, now that I'm a working man,

I have to keep my wits about me.

I'm beginning to wonder if you've got

any left. Don't avoid the issue.

I've been sitting here

like a snoopy old maid...

with her ears flapping in the breeze,

waiting to hear the dirt.

What dirt

would you like to hear?

Well, when I see one of the Parkes

of Boston serving hors d'oeuvre...

I think I'm entitled

to a pardonable curiosity.

Why tell you something

that you won't understand?

You've fallen off so many polo ponies

that your brain is scrambled.

But I still want to know

why you're buttling,

when your family is telling everybody

that you're in South America.

A family has to say something

to save its face.

The Parkes disgrace

very easily.

I'd like to see their faces when they

find out that you're a butler.

- They're not going to find it out.

- Come to the point.

Well, there isn't

much of a point.

Do you remember that little

incident up in Boston?

You still have that woman

on your mind?

No, not anymore.

But I was pretty bitter at the time.

So I gave her everything I had

and just disappeared.

You know, the Parkes were

never educated to face life.

- We've been puppets for ten generations.

- And?

Tommy, it's surprising

how fast you can go downhill...

when you begin

to feel sorry for yourself.

And boy did I feel sorry

for myself!

I wandered down

to the East River one night,

thinking I'd just slide in

and get it over with.

But I met some fellows

living there, on a city dump.

They were people who were fighting

it out and not complaining.

I never got

as far as the river.

Would you do me

a big favor?

- Who do you want killed?

- I'll do my own killing.

Go around the corner and telephone

this place and ask for Tommy Gray.

When you get him on the wire,

keep him there.

- What's this all about?

- Don't ask too many questions.

Okay.

And so out of the ruins

of Godfrey Parke...

a new edifice has sprung up

in the form of Godfrey Smith.

And, I may add, the edifice

is going to keep on springing.

Do you intend

to remain a butler?

No, I have

some other ideas in mind.

But you wouldn't understand

those either, so we won't go into that.

- Will you do me a favor?

- Maybe.

I have a friend in town,

a very eminent brain specialist.

I'd like him

to examine you.

I'll submit to an examination,

if you will also.

That's a bet.

- Are you Mr. Gray?

- Yes.

- You're wanted on the phone.

- On the phone? What the...

Back in a minute, Godfrey.

- Well, the mystery's solved.

- The mystery?

Yes. Now I know what

a butler does on his day off.

When you worked for Mr. Gray,

were the two of you always this chummy?

You see, I worked for Mr. Gray

a long time, and we got to be...

Yeah, that was under

the name of Smith, wasn't it?

Or did I hear him mention

the name of Parke?

He may have said that we used to take

long walks in the park.

- A sort of custom.

- Oh, yes, I see.

Well, if you can be so chummy

with the Grays,

why can't you be chummy

with the Bullocks?

- I try to keep my place.

- Why? You're very attractive.

- As a butler?

- No, as a Smith.

- You're a rotten butler.

- Sorry.

Are we going to be friends?

I feel that on my day off, I should have

the privilege of choosing my friends.

You can't go on like this forever.

You really like me, and you're

afraid to admit it, aren't you?

Do you want me to tell you

what I really think of you?

- Please do.

- As Smith or as a butler?

- Choose your own weapon.

- You won't hold it against me?

- It's your day off.

- Very well.

You belong to that

unfortunate category...

that I would call

the Park Avenue brat.

A spoiled child who's

grown up in ease and luxury,

who's always

had her own way,

and whose misdirected

energies are so childish...

that they hardly deserve the comment

even of a butler on his offThursday.

Thank you for a very lovely portrait.

Hiya, Cornelia.

What are you doing here?

Godfrey and I were discussing

tomorrow's menu.

- Well, don't run away.

- I'm in an awfully big hurry. Good-bye.

I'll see you

down by the ash pile.

- What did she mean by that?

- A little joke we have between us.

Oh, I see.

Ajoking butler.

What's the matter

with that stuff?

I think I'll switch.

I'm more at mood.

Now we're getting

someplace. Waiter!

Another one of these.

- He's not back yet, is he?

- Not yet.

Would you mind putting these

flowers in his room?

- I can't go in there anymore.

- I can't, either.

- You won't tell him they're from me?

- If you don't want me to.

Oh, I don't want him

to know.

It's his, isn't it?

- Do you always sew his buttons on?

- Sometimes.

I'd like to sew his buttons on

sometime when they come off.

- I wouldn't mind at all.

- He doesn't lose very many.

- Oh, he's very tidy...

- Yes, he's very tidy.

- What does he do on his day off?

- He never tells me.

He's probably sitting somewhere

with some woman on his lap.

He's the meanest man I know.

I think he's very mean.

I suppose he's sitting

somewhere with somebody on his lap...

who doesn't care for him at all.

As far as I know, maybe his children

are there too, calling him, calling him.

Oh, I can't bear it.

Please don't.

You too?

Oh, Molly, I know

exactly how you feel.

Good evening.

How about a quartet?

Ehh!

# For tomorrow may bring sorrow #

# So tonight let us be gay #

"'Courage,' she said,

and pointed toward the land.

"'This wave will roll ashore

but soon. '

"And the afternoon

came into a land...

into which it seemed

always afternoon. "

"All around the coast

the languid air did swoon. "

- What's the matter, darling?

- Nothing.

- She's been eating onions.

- Onions make me sleepy.

Irene loves onions.

When she was a little girl,

she was always stealing

onions from the icebox.

You know, sometimes

I wonder if my children are all there.

"Like a downward smoke,

the slender stream along the cliff...

did fall and fall

and fall to the sea. "

Evening.

I thought I told you to send that

gray satin evening dress to the cleaner.

- Gray satin?

- Why can't you do as you're told?

With pleasure.

Seems to me that every time you pick up

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