My Man Godfrey Page #8

a paper, somebody's been murdered.

Imagine a man drowning

his wife in a bathtub.

Maybe it's the only way

he could get her to take a bath.

Well, if anyone ever drowned

my Duke in their bathtub,

his mama would be

very sad, she would.

Will there be

anything else, madam?

I haven't asked for anything, so I don't

see how I could want anything.

I beg your pardon.

I thought you were Miss Cornelia.

You thought

I was Cornelia?

Forgive me, but you seem to be looking

younger every day, if I may say so.

You certainly may. Thank you very much.

Did you send Godfrey

upstairs for anything?

Did I? No, I'm quite sure I didn't.

Why?

I just wondered.

I was in the Kerry Bar today.

That place is getting run down.

They're catering

to a very low class of people.

You shouldn't

go in there, my dear.

Darling, what's the matter?

You're not eating anything.

Nobody cares

if I starve myself to death.

What's the matter with you?

I don't mind dying,

if other people don't.

She's in love.

Haven't you heard?

It's probably her engagement. Several

of my girlfriends acted just like that.

- Maybe her stomach is upset.

- Nobody asked you!

There goes the profits.

I beg your pardon.

I don't know what's the matter with

Godfrey. He's been acting so peculiar.

But he did pay me

a nice compliment.

He's always paying

other people compliments.

Why don't you eat? Look at Carlo.

He's had two helpings of everything.

Leave her alone. Carlo's eating

enough for both of them.

He ought to be strong enough

soon to give that concert.

You can't rush genius.

He could give a bang-up concert

right now with a knife and fork.

Why do you always pick on Carlo?

Why not try someone else for a change?

Wait a minute, Mother. Come here, Dad.

Something terrible has happened.

What is it?

What's happened?

You look frightened.

You're as white as a sheet.

Let's go into the living room,

where we won't be overheard.

Cornelia, what is it?

Are you ill?

Come, come, sit down here.

Let me get you an aspirin or something.

- I'm all right.

- What's troubling you?

Do you remember the pearl necklace

I got for my birthday?

- Why, yes!

- What about it?

- It's disappeared.

- Maybe somebody stole it.

Will you fill your gob

and keep out of this!

- I was only trying to help.

- We don't need your help.

- When did you find out?

- I put it on my dressing table.

I went upstairs just now,

and it was gone.

- And it cost such a lot of money.

- I'll say it did.

- What are we going to do?

- I'll go call the police.

Never mind, Dad.

I've already called them.

Oh!

Mm-mm. Well, what I want to know is,

when did you miss the pearls?

During dinner I went to my room,

and they were gone.

- She's always leaving them.

- Nobody asked you anything.

If you're going to be rude to my

daughter, you might take your hats off.

When we're on criminal cases,

lady, we keep both hands free.

You mean to imply

that I'm a criminal?

All I know is

that it's an inside job.

- Who's that?

- It's Mother's protege.

No wise cracks.

Is that your son?

That? Say, listen, I've made

a lot of mistakes in my life,

but I'll be hanged

if I'll plead guilty to that.

Stop picking on Carlo!

He wouldn't have time to steal anything.

He's too busy eating.

- Who are you?

- Guess.

- Where is Godfrey?

- He isn't feeling very well.

- Who are you staring at?

- Just a minute, sister.

If I thought that were true,

I'd disown my parents.

So you got a passion for jewelry, huh?

Yes, and I got a passion

for socking cops.

- Where are they?

- Most of them are in cemeteries.

- Where is the necklace?

- Maybe I swallowed it.

You mustn't accuse Molly.

She's been with us a long time.

- That in itself is some recommendation.

- Thank you, Molly.

You're welcome.

I'll turn down the beds.

- Who is this Godfrey?

- He's the best butler we ever had.

Oh, I'm sure Godfrey didn't take them,

though we don't know much about him.

Godfrey wouldn't touch

those old pearls with a fork.

Just a minute. What do you mean

you don't know much about him?

We didn't get him

from an employment agency.

- My sister found him on a city dump.

- Oh, I see.

- Are you accusing Godfrey?

- I only want my necklace.

It's so silly to think of Godfrey

wearing a pearl necklace.

- Where is this butler?

- He's probably in his room.

- Where is that?

- It's back this way.

That's his room over there.

Godfrey, if you've got 'em,

hide 'em!

- Hey, what kind of a joint is this?

- All right, lady.

Hello, men.

- Where are they?

- Where?

That's what I said.

Where?

#Where oh where

has my little dog gone #

Come on, snap out of it!

- You notice he's been drinking.

- He has not been drinking!

I don't blame him if he has.

This family's probably got to him too.

Do you mind if we search

your room, Godfrey?

Somebody lost?

There seems to be

a pearl necklace missing.

- Do you know anything about it?

- Well, let's look for it.

- That's too bad.

- It's too bad for you.

I wouldn't be so cocksure of everything.

This is a serious matter.

The pearls couldn't just

get up and walk away.

She probably threw them

out of the taxi.

Let's look under the rug.

Maybe that's where I put it.

We'll do the searching,

Godfrey, old boy.

- It's a pleasure.

- This is all very silly.

I can imagine a woman stealing pearls,

but what would Godfrey do with them?

- Look under the mattress.

- Yes, there's a dandy place.

Well, they're not here.

They must be there.

Just a minute. What makes you so sure

they oughta be under the mattress?

I read that that's where people

put things when they steal them.

- Oh, yeah?

- Say, what are you up to?

I'd like to talk to you boys outside

for just a minute, if you don't mind.

- I'm terribly sorry, Godfrey.

- I told you so.

We're all terribly

sorry, Godfrey. Come, Cornelia.

Yah, yah, yah, yah!

I wanna apologize for my family.

They're all slightly hysterical.

- We got an idea what you're up against.

- I'd like to let the matter drop.

She probably mislaid her necklace.

I'm not certain she had one.

There's something phony

about the whole thing.

That's all a mistake.

And if you don't mind,

I'd like to send a little check

tomorrow to the pension fund.

- Okay, Mr. Bullock. Thanks very much.

- Good night.

- The whole thing's forgotten.

- Good night, boys.

Just what have you got

to say for yourself?

Aren't they going to do

anything about it?

No, and it's a good thing

for you that they're not.

And something else. If you don't find

your necklace, the joke's on you...

because it's not insured.

Cornelia lost her pearls,

and I've got mine!

Cornelia lost her pearls,

and I've got mine!

Cornelia lost her pearls,

and I've got mine!

Well, here we are, Tommy.

The village of forgotten men.

- How do you like it?

- I don't know but I prefer Newport.

It's a matter of choice.

Unfortunately, these men have no choice.

I still prefer Newport.

What is that

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