My Sister Eileen Page #4

It could break through and flood the place.

I think we should talk to Mr. Appopolous.

Talk to him?

Lve been screaming at him for two weeks.

Could you write a letter of protest to the

Better Business Bureau, or something?

Sure I could, but anything Id write,

theyd just send back.

Goodbye. Keep your fingers crossed.

Maybe thats what is wrong with my stories.

Ive been typing with my fingers crossed.

- Whats for dinner?

- The usual, meatballs and spaghetti.

Do you think we could get something

kind of interesting for dessert?

I invited Frank Lippencott.

You know, its wonderful the way

you manage with only one maid.

Its the least we can do.

He hasnt let me pay for one single

lunch cheque since Ive been going in there.

I have a feeling that before long...

Walgreens fountain will be

under new management.

- Scat.

- Bye.

Good luck.

Where you been, Chick?

Havent seen you around in a while.

Ive been up to Atlantic City,

covering the Miss America contest.

Frank, old boy, our countrys never been

in such good shape.

- Whats new with you?

- Nothing.

Invented any new sundaes lately?

- Eileen. Hiya.

- Hi.

I tried to call you at the house,

but your sister said youd already left.

- I have good news for you.

- Really? What?

I heard about an audition.

A rehearsal pianist who comes in here,

he told me about it.

- When is it? Where do I have to go?

- Its in a theatre on 42nd Street.

The piano players name is Charlie

and he said...

that if you come over, hell fix it up.

Thats wonderful.

I dont know how to thank...

Pardon me,

I couldnt help but overhear, Miss...

This is Eileen Sherwood. Eileen, Mr. Clark.

Thats right. Chick Clark.

- Reporter at large, New York Daily News.

- How do you do?

You see,

Im well-known around show business...

and the producer

holding that audition is a buddy of mine.

- Thanks, Chick, but Ive already set it up.

- But with a rehearsal pianist.

Youre gonna let this lovely little girl walk in

with that kind of introduction, are you?

Thats certainly very considerate of you,

Mr. Clark.

Dont be silly. Life wouldnt be worthwhile

if we couldnt help others.

Ill just put in a call to my friend

and fix it up.

- Thank you.

- Be right back.

Now, isnt that nice?

Eileen, I wish you wouldnt get

too friendly with him.

Why?

Hes a pretty smooth operator.

- Frank, hes just trying to help.

- But hes not an agent. Hes a reporter.

Id like him to meet Ruth.

She used to be a reporter, too,

on the Columbus Courier.

Maybe he could introduce her

to his editor or something, huh?

Yeah.

Well, its all set.

- Youll have to hurry. Ill walk you over.

- Okay. Bye, Frank.

Wait a minute. Ill come along, too.

- Good.

- Thats not at all necessary.

Im on my lunch hour

in five minutes, anyway.

- Take over, will you, Fred?

- Sure, Frank.

Dont you need

some kind of clothes to dance in?

Lve got some rehearsal shorts

right underneath here.

- I always come prepared.

- Yeah...

- you sure do.

- Well?

Lets go.

I dont know how to thank you,

going to so much trouble.

- After all, you hardly know me.

- Thats easily taken care of.

- How about tonight?

- I couldnt. Franks coming to dinner.

This is it.

Why dont you come to dinner, too?

Lts only spaghetti and meatballs...

but Id really like to have you

meet my sister.

I just love spaghetti and meatballs.

- Good. About 7:
00?

- Right.

- Well, here we are.

- Gosh, Im nervous.

You dont have to be.

Youre gonna be great.

Sure you are. You wait here, Lippencott,

while I introduce her to the boss.

Dont forget to say hello

to the piano player. Charlie?

Look, why dont you both wait for me here?

If the other girls know Ive got any pull,

it might be embarrassing. Okay?

- Okay, if thats the way you want it.

- Well wait for you. Good luck.

- Thank you.

- Eileen.

Dont forget to smile.

Eileen.

- What happened?

- Did you get the job?

Did I get...

They wanted to know if I stripped!

- What?

- Thats a burlesque theatre.

- No.

- I didnt even get a chance to audition.

He looked at me with those beady eyes...

Ive never been so embarrassed.

You two ought to be ashamed,

sending me to a place like that!

- But I didnt know about it.

- I didnt know anything about it.

Miss Blyth, these will be fine.

Have five copies sent up to Mr. Parker.

Excuse me, Mr. Baker wants to see me.

- Your name?

- Ruth Sherwood.

His secretary called

and said he wanted me to come right over.

- Have you any idea of what he wants?

- Not the vaguest.

Mr. Baker seldom confides in me.

Miss Wilt, Miss Sherwood.

- Yes?

- Miss Sherwood is here.

- Send her in, please.

- Yes, sir.

Hi. That thing look straight to you?

- A little higher on the left, I think.

- Little higher on the left.

- Hows that?

- Thats better.

All righty. Wont you sit down?

- Thank you.

- Wait a minute.

There you are. You know, in a years time,

I read an awful lot of stories.

Id say about one in 1,000 has any merit.

About one in every 5,000 writers

makes the grade.

Lately, I would bet it was one in a million.

I told you that day in the elevator

that I thought you had talent.

I still do. There we are.

You have it when you write about something

youve had some experience with.

With which youve had some experience.

- Another qualification...

- No, thank you.

Another qualification is perseverance,

and that youve certainly got.

Even in the face of those

atrocious love stories, you wouldnt give up.

Did you really kill all these animals,

or just insult them to death?

Will you please let me finish

before you start swinging at me?

This story of yours,

My Sister Eileen, I think thats wonderful.

- You do?

- I do.

I havent enjoyed reading anything so much

in a long time. Thats charming.

Its funny. Its also very real.

Now do you get my point?

Obviously, you were writing about people

and incidents that you were familiar...

With which...

That you had observed firsthand.

What makes you so sure?

Lts my business, Miss Sherwood.

Let me prove my point.

First, you write three phoney love stories.

All of a sudden, you turn around, start

writing about your beautiful sister, Eileen...

that has a dozen men running after her...

and shes got them dangling like puppets

on the end of a string...

wrapped around her little finger.

Thats delightful.

But by comparison, those three love stories,

theyre completely unbelievable.

- They are?

- They are.

Now, wheres the answer?

Suppose I told you

I dont even have a sister?

All right, then you dont have a sister...

then shes a good friend of yours.

Whoever she is, shes real.

I bet you my bottom buck

shes somebody you know pretty well.

Matter of fact, Id like to know her myself.

She sounds like quite a girl.

Who is she?

I hate to admit it, Mr. Baker...

but youre a very discerning man.

It just happens that Eileen

and the inexperienced...

frustrated, spinsterish Ruth Sherwood...

are one and the same.

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