My Soul To Take Page #3

but please keep Bug safe.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Penelope! It's getting late.

I'm coming!

It's getting late.

Thank you.

Message received.

Crows, 10.

Snot-nosed kids, zip.

Hey!

Ass-wipe!

Get your little butt to school

before I put my boot up it!

Let's go! Now!

Can you step back

a little bit, Quint?

What's the matter?

Don't you trust me?

Of course I trust you.

Don't trust anyone,

you dumb sh*t.

Thanks, Quint.

Felt good.

Anytime!

I know you want me,

Brittany.

Speaking. I've got today's

assignment, Brandon.

Got paper and pen?

Of course I do.

Bug Hellerman, three.

Bug?

Alex Dunkelman, eight.

I need it done this morning.

Alex gets an eight?

You have a problem

with that?

No, it's just that it's pretty

high on Fang's punitive scale.

Usually, giving an eight

to the son of a felon

comes with a bonus, is all.

Don't say something

stupid, Brandon.

Nothing big.

A blowj*b would do.

How about I have my dog bite it

off and bury it in my backyard?

How big is your backyard?

Good morning, Riverton.

It's hour 7

of Ripper Day 16.

And we're talking

with Betty O'Neil,

mother of Riverton star

quarterback, Brandon O'Neil

and head of the group,

Citizens for a Saner Riverton.

Mrs. O'Neil,

why ban Ripper Day?

It's just kids

having fun, isn't it?

No, it's not kids having fun.

It's kids having nightmares,

seeing the Ripper

everywhere. Kids...

Jumpy this morning, aren't we?

Where is the sock puppet?

Where did you come from?

Your window, where else?

Is Brandon damaged, do you think?

Of course Brandon isn't...

What the f*** is that?

Sock puppet.

On steroids?

Kind of.

Kind of?

Only you wear it this time.

What? Excuse me?

Like Jay said, "Shock and awe."

Thought Edgar

was a home crow.

Raven.

He's a guard. He watches over you, you know?

You're still spooked

by last night, right?

We were all watching the river

and he came from the woods.

That's scary.

Now, that's Jay's whole thing.

Never do what they expect.

And now we got Edgar up there

to keep him away. So...

You can have him

if you want, after tonight.

Edgar.

Seriously?

Yeah. It's your birthday.

Well, thanks.

I should get

you a present.

How about a weekend in Las

Vegas with Brittany Cunningham?

Brittany doesn't

know I'm alive.

She's gonna, after two days and two nights

of star-studded shows

and high-stakes gambling.

Oh, yeah.

Or I could just

help you with that.

Yeah, that's just as good.

It's heavy.

It's all the fluids.

Fluids?

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.

He leadeth me

beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul.

Yea, though I walk through the

valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for thou art with me.

Thou anointest my head with

oil. My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and

mercy will follow me

through all the

days of my life,

and I will dwell in the

house of the Lord forever.

Amen.

I know you're there, Lord.

And I know you're here.

- Hello?

- You like it?

Yeah, it's great.

Thanks, Mom.

I scotch-taped

your number to it.

And mine, and 9-1-1. Happy

birthday, Bug. I love you.

Love you, too.

How do...

Do I close it?

Hit the red button.

Boom, done.

Small!

That bad?

No, that's good.

Jerome.

Uh-oh.

Get, Dunkelman.

Catch you later, Jerome.

What did I do now?

See you, Jerome.

It's what you're

not going to do,

which is hang

out with them.

Why not?

It's bad luck,

is "why not."

Especially

on Ripper Day.

You should totally come

some year, Fang. It was wild!

Like, Brandon set Bug up

to fight the monster,

which was huge, by the way.

And Bug,

he was so scared.

Brandon didn't set

Bug up. I did.

Do you know how to

steam open an envelope

so it doesn't show?

Put it in the freezer

for an hour.

It opens itself and

reseals perfectly.

This is to Bug.

Oh, really?

Here they come.

Hold up, boys.

What do you got there?

Happy birthday, insect.

Clueless as usual.

Go.

Mr. Kaiser,

sixth period biology.

It'll be there.

Thanks, Jose.

So, you want to

come over tonight?

We could burn the house down

with my stepfather in it.

Ha, ha, ha!

He give you anything

for your birthday?

Yeah, a hematoma.

Made it himself, too.

Oh!

Behold, Bug, what light

in yonder window breaks.

She is so beautiful.

She's hot

for you, too.

You should go over

there and talk to her.

Excuse me,

Officer Ramirez.

Maria told me you know

all about baseball.

Mmm-hmm.

Uh-oh.

What do you want to know?

Distraction maneuver.

Run!

Bug. This is a three.

Dunkelman,

this is an eight.

That's the way

the cookie crumbles.

Dunkelman,

stay away from

the Fang Zone.

And you,

you stay away from him.

Thanks, Brandon.

Felt good.

Ass-wipe.

Not as good as your mother

felt last night, though.

Just bought yourself a 20.

Brandon O'Neil.

Do not bring the wrath

of Jehovah down upon you.

Your sins are already a stench

in the nostrils of an angry God.

Like knocking up Melanie Pratt, who's only 15

and the principal's daughter.

What? Melanie's pregnant?

She's in my

prayer group. Duh!

What men will do

to you in prison

is nothing compared to what

demons will do to you in Hell.

On beds of fire.

Through all eternity.

I'm going to get you

for this, Penelope.

If you do, God will get you,

Brandon, and it won't be pretty.

When you least

expect it, Dunkelman.

Hi, Bug!

Hi.

Happy birthday! Thanks, Penelope. Same to you.

Did you get my note?

Note?

I left it in your mailbox.

No.

It doesn't matter.

What?

Pray for our souls, Bug.

He's coming.

Jesus?

We should be so lucky.

Don't forget me.

Rise up and gird

your loins, Alex.

The end is near.

Why is Penelope always

saying weird stuff like that?

Parallel universe, baby.

I don't understand her,

sometimes.

I mean, the way

she said that.

Pray for our souls, Bug.

He's coming.

What if she meant

the Ripper?

I'm scared.

We're 16, Bug.

Like it or not,

we're men now.

I don't feel like a man.

No man does. That's why you got to fake it.

Fake being a man

to be a man?

That's the way it works.

So, you can't run.

You have to face

your fear like a man.

Even though I'm not a man?

Because you're not a man.

Listen, the better you fake

it, the better man you are.

Just fake it?

Well, fake it good.

Like, if you're scared, act

like you don't give a sh*t.

Or if somebody hurts you, say, "Thank

you very much. That felt wonderful."

Thanks, Brandon.

I can't raise my arm.

Feels good.

Yeah, there you go.

That all you

got, Brandon?

I mean, I feel

downright cheated.

I'm amazed that you're getting

this so quick. It's tricky stuff.

I was faking

that I did.

You were?

Completely.

Yeah, but you

were faking it good.

I was?

Abso-f***ing-lutely.

You now have

permission to shave.

As you know, class,

we're nearing the end of our

reports on living creatures.

Dogs, fish, honeybees.

We had an especially nice one from

Brittany Cunningham last session

on the butterflies

of our state.

Today's presentation will be by

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