Mystic Pizza Page #2

Right on the orange, nice and easy.

Just send it right down there.

Darn.

Well, take it easy, honey. That's why

we play boy-girl. To even things out.

Excuse me.

I think we got a ringer here.

She is really good at this.

I know what you are. A hustler.

Lorna!

Isn't that the right word, Charlie?

Like in that pool-hall movie.

Lorna!

Fast game.

- Thanks.

- Thank you.

- Quite a game.

- Anytime.

Can we get out of here? Please?

Sh*t.

- Daisy?

- Hi, Mom.

You goin' to 11 o'clock mass?

No. I went last night.

I gotta get lunch ready. Uncle Vic

and Aunt Rosalie are comin' over.

Daisy? You help me with lunch.

- Kat will.

- Thanks a lot.

She gone?

Do you like it?

160 bucks? Are you out of your mind?

I'm gonna return it...

after I've worn it...

somewhere.

Daisy?

Wait up, Phoebe.

- Daddy!

- Hi, sweetheart.

- How was the story hour?

- I got a library card.

- That's great. What'd you get?

- I got The Yellow House

and Babar's Little Girl.

- She picked them herself.

- I'll bet. Are you hungry, Phoebs?

- Yes.

- OK.

One bologna and cheese on white,

no crust, coming right up.

OK. Now, why don't you take your books

and your sandwich out on the porch?

- And you know the rule, right?

- Don't get off the porch.

I'll be right out.

Later, alligator.

This should keep us up to date, Kat.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

I always wondered what

the inside looked like.

It's gonna look a hell of a lot

better than this, I promise you.

- I'm impressed already.

- You want to see the best part?

- Yeah.

- OK. Phoebe?

- What?

- I'm goin' upstairs, OK?

- OK.

- Don't go out the porch.

- Wow! This place is huge.

- Not bad for a summer cottage.

Actually, the original house

was built in 1880

by a wealthy merchant named Elias

Montrose for his English bride, Elizabeth.

Watch your step.

They were married in London

after a whirlwind romance.

It's gorgeous.

What a view!

Oh, I'd put a telescope right out here.

This is where Elias would watch his ships

come in and unload their treasures.

- Like what?

- Teas and spices from Ceylon.

Silks, pearls, sapphires from India.

I thought the only things that came

through Mystic were lobster and cod.

The story has a sad ending.

Elias returned to Mystic

and Elizabeth stayed in London

to settle her affairs.

On her way here, her ship was lost at sea.

And old Elias spent all the rest

of the days of his life

watching for her ship.

They say you can still hear his ghost

walking on this balcony on stormy nights.

Of course, it could be this squeaky board.

Are you gonna fix it?

Wouldn't dare.

There she is. That was gonna be

my wedding present from Bill.

It used to be called the Rose,

after his mom.

The man is a prince, Jo.

Miller Lite. I take it back - the man's a god.

Dais, he keeps that there

for him and the guys.

- Dais, he's not gonna like that.

- Jojo, relax! Trust me.

You're gonna wiggle your sweet ass,

and he's gonna forget all about it.

- St Katherine with a beer?

- I drink when I want.

You're a real lush.

You screw ten guys a weekend, too.

- No, that's your department.

- You're damn straight it is.

This is very pleasant, OK?

Let's have some fun tonight, OK?

Gosh, you know what I wish? I wish

Bill did not have such a gorgeous body.

- Yeah, right!

- No, I mean it.

It would make things so much easier.

I wouldn't think about him all the time.

Gosh, you know something? I get really

turned on just looking at his wrists.

- His wrists?

- Yes. They're so thick and strong.

- Maybe something's the matter with me.

- I think so.

- I think it's called being in love.

- Oh, no.

- Are you saying I shoulda married him?

- No, she's not.

Kat, look. There's a comet. Right there.

- No, that's just a shooting star.

- It's thrilling.

A comet looks like a tadpole. It's got

a round head and a long blazing tail.

I know what one looks like.

A sperm. A big sperm.

She's got one on the ceiling.

She goes to sleep every night

with a giant sperm flying over her head.

You know what? Ten years from now,

she's gonna be a famous astrologer.

- Who are you gonna be, Daisy?

- It's "astronomer."

How the hell do I know where I'll be?

I could be dead for all I know.

Daisy! That's bad luck.

- Look, Jo, you've got Bill.

- Right.

You've apparently got brains.

All I've got is this, and these.

- So to hell with both of you.

- No. I don't think so.

- Come back here, Daisy.

- Daisy! Wait up.

I really like old houses

like this, Mrs Arujo.

I'm sorry.

My family lives in an old house, too.

The water pipes, they burst just about

every winter. My dad gets really pissed.

Well, he gets very upset.

Oh, there you are. You didn't tell me

you were goin' out for dinner.

- I didn't know I was.

- Well, you could stay here for dinner.

- I got some nice lobst...

- No, thanks, Ma.

It was nice meeting you, Mrs Arujo.

You don't have to come home so late.

I know how long it takes to have dinner.

Daisy

Arujo...

You are a very difficult woman to find.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yes.

Charlie?

Charles Gordon Windsor. Junior.

Figures.

- Can I get you something?

- No, thanks.

But I think your mother could use a drink.

Shut up.

Sit.

I'll be right with you.

So, get out the spare.

That...

That was the spare.

Yes, that's gonna do it.

OK, I got the idea.

Yes!

So tell me, Junior, how come

you're not at your Ivy League school,

picking ivy, or whatever you do there?

Why do that,

when I could be here with you?

I needed a little vacation from law school.

Oh.

In other words, you're being a bum.

Exactly.

I got nothin' against bums.

Excuse me, Mr Windsor.

I hope you and the young lady

enjoyed your dinners.

It was wonderful.

Thank you, sir.

Which one is yours?

My dad's is the 62-foot

two-masted schooner there.

Not bad.

Arujo.

The stars have been,

and still are, used by sailors

to help them determine

their positions at sea.

Remember now, there are

no roads or signposts

or gas stations

where you can ask for directions.

Hi, Kat.

Now we'll show what it's like

to toss around at sea

with the stars your only hope

of getting back home.

How would you find your way?

If you had made a study of the skies,

as ancient seafarers did,

you would realise that

at a given date and time,

each star marks a particular point in the...

A particular...

A particular point in the sky.

So what you would do is measure

each point, each star, with a sextant.

- Hi.

- Hi. You were great.

- I kind of flubbed it today.

- No, no. We both loved it.

- Didn't we, Phoebe?

- Mommy, can we please go home?

It's nap time.

Can you change me, Kat?

Totallin' up?

We're gonna have to do better than this.

Oh, come on, Leona. It'll pick up.

Yeah, in June, with the tourists.

Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Absolutely.

Hey, Leona, your boyfriend's on.

Hector Pleshette here

with this week's gastronomic report.

In New Haven, a place called Nubby's.

"Grubby's" would be a better name for it.

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