Naked Page #8

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by our security cameras in the garage.

At approximately 3:36 a.m.,

this sedan pulled

in the parking structure.

- Vicky?

- Were you with this woman last night?

No.

But she did have a key to my room

because she was the one

that made the reservations.

(man) Her parking pass correlates

to one of the rooms

that was booked 30 minutes prior.

In it,

we found several rolls of duct tape.

Duct tape?

Here's where it gets ridiculous.

Several keys got stuck in the gears,

trapping you inside.

I need to use your phone right now.

(vibrating)

- Hello.

- Meg?

Rob! Where are you? Are you okay?

Listen,

I don't have a lot of time to talk.

I just want to tell you that I am sorry.

I've been stuck.

I've just been holding on

to a bunch of bullshit,

and you haven't gotten

what you needed from me.

It's kind of like with your kids,

you know, your patients.

You say they grow up fast

when they're dealing with a crisis.

Yeah.

Well, I've been dealing with a crisis

of unimaginable proportions,

and I just want to tell you that I am...

I am getting out my own damn way.

So you stay right there.

I'm coming for you.

(church bells ring)

Hold on

'Cause I'm coming

Hold on

(man)

And here comes Abdalla Tanui of Kenya,

rounding the corner

for the final quarter mile.

(crowd cheering)

(in Swahili)

Last one there is a rotten egg.

(camera shutters clicking)

(cheering)

Guys, please. I got to get to the church.

I got to get to the church. Excuse me.

Officers, I need a ride to my wedding.

Move along, Nick Cannon.

No, I know it sounds crazy,

but I really need your help.

She's the love of my life,

and I know she'd take a bullet for me.

She's my "ride or die b*tch."

- Let's roll.

- Yes!

Wait. How the hell are we supposed

to get across town

- with the race and the traffic?

- I got an idea.

- (Rob screaming)

- (laughing) Whoo!

Almost went around the thing

- and flipped over.

- We almost... went around.

- Whoa!

- (horns honk)

Watch out!

- (shouting)

- Relax. We got this.

We're professionals.

We do this all the time.

Why are you so nervous?

Oh, snap. Guys, can I use your phone?

Look at your own risk.

I promise you I won't.

(phone ringing)

- Hello.

- Hey, Callie!

Yeah, it's me, Rob, from last night.

- Corny Rob.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, Corny Rob.

Corny Rob?

Yeah, I need you to do me a favor.

Grab my suit,

bring it down

to the Second Presbyterian Church. ASAP.

- All right.

- All right, bye.

Whoo! Someone's getting married!

We're never gonna make it in time.

- I think these guys know a shortcut.

- (officer) Yeah?

(all) Whoa!

Let's go!

- (laughs)

- All right!

I sing

Because I'm free

His eye

Is on

The sparrow

- I'll walk. Thank you.

- No, doors are locked.

- Not getting out of here, baby.

- Ride or die.

Sweetheart, you have to accept

the fact that he's not coming.

He will be here.

(sighs)

He's here.

(groans)

He's here!

Yes! Whoo! My man's in the house!

Come on, everybody, give it up!

- You look good, man.

- Thank you, brother.

("Bridal Chorus" playing)

Wow.

You look amazing.

(clears throat)

Sir, I'd like to thank you

for hosting such a wonderful service.

It's a complete disaster,

and I think it should be canceled.

You'd rather her marry Cody.

As a matter of fact, he's the kind of man

my baby girl deserves.

Yeah. And he's also the kind of man

that's planning to take over your company.

Yeah, that's right.

He's bought up 47% of your shares

and has a lead on another five.

Now, I know

I'm just a substitute teacher, but...

sounds to me like you're screwed.

Cody, is this true?

(chuckles)

You always treated me like garbage.

Worse than garbage.

It wasn't until Megan and I broke up

that you could even remember my name.

I have been waiting

for this moment for years.

I'm sorry I can't take everything

that's important to you.

Congratulations, you two.

- Man, I ought to knock your ass out.

- Hey, Benny, chill.

- He got a mean left hook.

- Oh, for real? I'm good.

I'm sorry, baby girl.

I've got to deal with this now.

- No.

- Mr. Swope...

I got it. Give me a second.

Back off, Rob. This is important.

More important

than your own daughter's wedding?

Look, I don't expect you to understand.

You haven't worked a real job

in your life.

Here's what I do know, Mr. Swope.

Marriage is a full-time job.

I'm talking long hours.

Overtime.

No summers off.

Listen, I promise you I'm gonna give Megan

everything that I have.

I'll never stop proving myself.

And I'll never ever stop loving her.

I promised her mother the same thing.

Oh, God, I wish she were here.

She is...

Dad.

Okay... too soon.

Uh... What do you say we go back inside?

Come on, work can wait.

Megan needs her father.

And a groom.

Apparently, that's how

this whole wedding thing works, right?

Rob, thank you for what you did.

Cody's a liar and a cheat.

I'm just glad I'm the one that caught him.

I'm not talking about Cody.

If there's any way

I can possibly repay you...

Well...

And now we come

to the portion of the ceremony

that holds great significance, the vows.

I understand you two

have written your own?

Yes.

Megan, would you like to begin?

Actually, Father...

May I?

Megan...

I know I haven't made it easy for you.

And I know I haven't been the man...

that you deserve.

But all the time leading up

to this moment...

is exactly what I needed

to put all my nonsense behind me.

Someone once said

it takes 10,000 hours...

to master anything...

but that's a long time

to keep a beautiful woman waiting.

And, Megan, you have waited a long time.

But I promise you this:

if marriage is like playing the lottery...

I'm in it to win it.

Oh, Rob.

I know the man that you are.

And all I need you to be

is right here, right now.

Always.

Megan, will you have this man

to be your husband,

to love and to comfort,

to honor and to keep

in sickness and in health

for as long as you both shall live?

I do.

And do you, Robert?

Yes, I do.

Rob, the ring?

My mother's ring?

Thank you.

Is there anybody here who does not wish

these two to be married?

Let them speak now

or forever hold their peace.

Rob slept with a hooker!

(crowd gasps)

It just had to come out.

Um... I have pictures of them leaving

a bar together, so it's a true story.

Wait, what is this about, Rob?

I did not sleep with a hooker, okay?

I just brought her back,

and she listened to my vows.

- (laughs)

- And actually, she was very helpful.

Oh, yeah. That sounds plausible.

Unfortunately, the hooker couldn't be here

to corroborate your story.

Well, actually, the young lady...

is right over there.

Callie? Can you please tell them?

- Yes, please do!

- She paid me to try and sleep with him.

(chuckling)

Okay, let's all believe a hooker.

Hello, Hooker. It's Vicky.

Just making sure you'll be

at The Glass Slipper tonight

to do the do with Rob Anderson.

That is R-O-B.

Yeah, that checks out.

I want my $300 back.

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