Nanny McPhee Page #11

I do love my weddings.

Mr Brown. What's he really like?

No idea. Keen as mustard

to tie the knot, though.

Had to sort this out quick.

Only got the sheep dipped yesterday.

But he's easily controlled,

unlike his nasty little brood.

However will you manage them, Selma?

I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

Never you mind.

I started off by giving them a good clean-up.

Oh, don't they look lovely?

Sebastian, your top button is undone.

Lily, you have a little hair caught

in your crook. Eric, help her, please.

Your father will be down in a moment.

Now, that is an improvement.

Letty, go and keep a lookout.

I say, whatever your name is,

give me a second on my own

with the little darlings?

Now, my dears, there's going to be

some changes made round here.

I'm in charge of this household now

and while I'm in charge,

you children will behave.

Do you hear? Behave.

- [Aggy jingles rattle]

- Behave.

And we're not having any of that nasty noise

all the way through my nice wedding.

- [grizzles uncertainly, then sobs]

- Shut her up.

Naughty.

It's our mother's rattle. Give it back.

I'm your mother now.

Time to adapt.

- [magical breeze sighs]

- Hm.

[footsteps]

- Papa, Mrs Quickly...

- Sh!

Yoo-hoo, Cedric.

I realise the bride and groom

shouldn't meet until the ceremony,

- but you and I are old hands at this.

- [hoofbeats]

- [horse whinnies]

- She's here! Lady Stitch!

Selma, there's footmen.

- [Cook sputters] Oi, make way!

- [Letty squeaks]

Where's the woman?

- Aunt Adelaide...

- Shut up! Where's the woman, Cedric?

May I present my...fiancee, Selma Quickly.

Selma, this is Lady Stitch.

Your Ladyness. Welcome, if I may be so bold,

to our humble, nay, lowly festivities.

You shower glory upon us from above.

The very air about you shines with...

with...with aboveness.

A gracious welcome, I must say.

Rise, my dear.

Here are the children

in their, erm...shepherdess outfits.

Well, that's the girls.

The boys... I'm not sure what they are.

But, erm...anyway, you can see.

Oh, keep up, will you?

[whispers] Who's that?

- It's a princess.

- A fairy princess.

It's Evangeline.

Straight back. Remember your vowels.

May I present my adopted daughter,

Miss Evangeline Stitch.

What are we doing milling about

in this dreary vestibule?

Sherry this instant.

Might I beg the honour of pouring

the privileged schooners myself?

[perfectly plummy]

Delectable to see you again, madam.

Blinkin' hell!

And how nice to see the young people.

Welcome back, Evangeline.

You look well. Are you well?

I am most content.

You must be very happy

to be marrying again.

Oh, yes, I'm... I'm...

How did you put it? Most content.

Of course. Good grief.

I am so glad.

- [Adelaide] Evangeline!

- [bell jangles]

Pray excuse me.

Are you sure it's Evangeline?

It doesn't look anything like her.

Nonsense. She's always looked like that.

[they play ¢Ü Here Comes The Bride]

[bleating]

[hums along]

What can we do?

There has to be another way.

- Behave.

- Beehive.

You must do as you're told.

- Behave.

- Beehive.

Lesson number five, Simon.

You must do exactly as you're told.

[violins crescendo]

Beehive.

Beehive?

Please be seated.

There isn't a beehive. What do you mean?

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together

in the sight of God

and in the face of this congregation

to join together this man and this woman

in holy matrimony,

which is an honourable estate

instituted of God

in the time of man's innocence...

..and commended of St Paul...

- [children] Bzzzzzz!

-..to be honoured among all men.

Get off!

- And is therefore...

- Get off!

-.. not by any man to be enterprised...

- There's one on you!

.. nor taken in hand unadvisedly,

lightly, wantonly...

- There's one on your back!

-..to satisfy man's carnal lusts...

It's the flowers on her dress!

They're attracting them!

- I hate bees. I'm allergic.

- There aren't any bees, you fool!

No, truly, I swell up.

[hisses] They're trying to ruin

my lovely wedding. Nasty, vicious creatures.

- Do something!

- [children buzz energetically]

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