Nanny McPhee Page #4

[whispers] Goodnight, Agatha.

Goodnight, Sebastian.

Goodnight, Tora.

Goodnight, Christianna.

Goodnight, Lily.

Goodnight, Eric.

Goodnight, Simon.

There is something you should understand

about the way I work.

When you need me but do not want me,

then I must stay.

When you want me but no longer need me,

then I have to go.

It's rather sad, really, but there it is.

We will never want you.

Then I will never go.

- Goodnight, children.

- [magical tinkling]

How did she know our names?

No one ever knows our names.

- Magic.

- Witchcraft.

It doesn't matter.

We're getting rid of her tomorrow.

- [owl hoots]

- [mutters]

- [tinkling wind rushes]

- What? Wha... What? What?

I did knock.

Of course. You weren't just

creeping up on me. What a suggestion.

- The children are all in bed and asleep.

- Good. Really?

Hm.

- Good grief.

- I shall see myself to my room.

Goodnight, Mr Brown.

No, wait.

What do you... I mean, how...

What are your terms?

Your children require five lessons.

Lesson one, to go to bed

when they're told, is complete.

As for my terms,

I take Sunday afternoons off.

Goodnight.

Interesting.

[magical breeze sighs]

- [birds twitter]

- [geese honk]

[buzzing]

[grunts and snuffles]

Time to get up.

[grunts] No.

Hm. I shall give you half an hour to be up,

washed, dressed, teeth cleaned, beds made

and out into the garden

for healthful fresh air before breakfast.

Lessons start at nine...sharp.

[magical breeze sighs]

I don't know about you lot,

but I want to stay in bed.

Sebastian, run the thermometer

under the hot tap.

Chrissie, chalk. Eric, crayons. Lily, pepper.

How do you know

she won't do something horrid to us?

I worked it out.

She's a trained hypnotist.

That's how she made us do those things.

Don't look directly at her

and she can't hypnotise us.

[knock at door]

- Morning, Mr Brown.

- Morning.

I'm off to work early.

We're busy at the mortuary.

Some bout of influenza at Archway

is carrying off all the old folks... Ah-ah-ah!

Still, what's bad for them

is good for us. [chuckles]

Poor things.

Well, I know. That, too. Of course.

- [door slams]

- Odd. She normally says, "Have a nice day,"

or "Don't forget your jacket" if it's cold out.

Very odd. Most peculiar.

[magical wind rushes]

Hm.

- I did knock.

- Did you? I didn't hear.

I was talking to...

Never mind.

I believe the children

will be staying in bed today.

The children? What, all day?

Are they ill? What's wrong?

Nothing. I know precisely what to do.

Please leave it to me.

You managed them splendidly last night.

If they are under the weather,

give them what they want,

ice-cream and jelly and suchlike.

My late wife was very particular.

If ever they were ill,

she used to wait on them hand and foot...

even if they weren't ill at all.

I shall be sure to give them

exactly what they need.

Excellent. Excellent.

Well, I'll just be off to work, then.

[magical tinkling]

She's coming!

Remember, everyone, don't look in her eyes.

Dear me.

[coughs] We can't get up. We're ill.

Colds in our doses.

And kemperakurk.

We think it bight be the beasles.

Got measig.

Good heavens.

Then there is of course

no question of your getting up.

I'm very sorry to have to tell you all

that you'll have to stay in bed.

Hm.

- [magical wind rushes]

- [creaking]

[crashing thud]

[children giggle]

[giggling dies away]

- Ah.

- I don't feel well.

- I think I've got a temperature.

- Don't be daft.

Simon, I can't get up.

- You must have looked at her, then.

- I did not look.

I was under the covers the whole time,

Simon. I can't get up either.

- [Sebastian] I can't get up!

- [Eric] I'm stuck like glue!

[Chrissie] I'm stuck, too!

Hypnosis, eh? Bang goes that theory.

Good morning.

[both] Morning, Mr B!

- [they laugh uproariously]

- Good morning, Mr Jowls, Mr Wheen.

- [both] Thought we'd get you that time.

- No, not this time.

- Nice tea dance, Mr B?

- Ooh, lovely, I shouldn't wonder.

No. I didn't even get there. Disaster.

Rate this script:4.3 / 16 votes