Nanny McPhee Page #5

Children, you know.

- We do know.

- We've said it before.

It's not funerals

you should be in the business of.

[both] It's christenings.

[they laugh uproariously]

Good morning.

Just excuse me a moment, would you?

[woman] Cedric,

let me not beat about the bush.

Your children are out of control.

You need a wife

and your children need a mother.

If you do not remarry by the end of the month,

steps will have to be taken.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

What's your wife like?

Never mind. Less than a month to go.

There's nothing for it.

It'll have to be that woman...

the dreadful one.

Mr Jowls, do you recollect

that...enthusiastic lady?

Mrs Swiftly, was it? Or was it

Mrs Thadius something last year?

- Mrs Thadius Quickly?

- Oh, don't.

"Oh, Mr Brown, you are a saint. You have

a lovely look of kindness about you."

What I wouldn't give for a man like you,

Mr Brown, in my hour of need.

- That one?

- Yes, that one.

We buried Mr Quickly last autumn.

Poor devil.

- He was happy to go.

- He was her third.

You don't happen to know

if... if she ever...ever, erm...

remarried? You know, number four?

Mr Brown, you're not thinking what I think

you're thinking, are you, Mr Brown?

Good grief, no! No, no. No. No.

No. No, no... no. What a thought. No. No.

[both] Ohhh...

- [gloopy bubbling]

- [children] What's that?

Measle medicine,

to be administered once an hour.

Actually, I'm not sure it is measles.

How can it be anything other?

The chalky-white faces, the livid spots,

- the temperatures of degrees.

- [sizzle]

I've seen it time and again. Measles.

Definitely.

[thick, gloopy gurgling]

Urgh!

- Open.

- [Lily] Simon, don't!

- [sludgy bubbling]

- I'm not taking that.

Then you will not get any better.

Believe me.

[Chrissie] It's moving!

Open wide.

Wider.

[Simon grunts and gags]

Urgh!

- [thick, gloopy gulping]

- Urgh!

[retches]

[Eric] Simon, spit it out!

You'll have to swallow it sooner or later,

so I suggest you get it over with.

- [thick, bubbling gulp]

- [gags]

Very good. Who's next?

"Took..."

"He..."

"He took her lovingly..."

"He took her lovingly by the...the hand."

- [magical breeze sighs]

- Oh! Nanny McPhee, you startled me.

It was that quiet.

I just got to practising my sounds.

Lily's teaching me to read.

That is good.

They're all good... underneath it all.

- A favourite of yours?

- Don't know.

I haven't finished it yet.

- The stepmother's a bit of a horror, though.

- Oh, indeed.

It's a pity stories aren't about real people.

This one seems a farm girl,

but I'll bet a pound to a penny

he finds out she's really an educated lady.

And then he falls for her.

You must read it and find out.

He wouldn't love her if she couldn't read.

He'd think her stupid

and worthless and beneath him.

Hm.

[tinkling breeze sighs]

Buttered spuds for lunch

with boiled beef, apple pie and custard.

Hm.

I think the children will be requiring

something a little more...

austere today.

'Orse what?

The children are not quite themselves,

Mrs Blatherwick.

God! That means jellies and ice-cream,

raspberry cordial and God knows what else.

Well, I'd better get cracking, then.

Evangeline!

Where is that lump?

It'll be snow in August

before that one's there when you need her.

Calm yourself, Mrs Blatherwick.

I'm in charge today.

I understand that you were once

in the armed forces.

I was that. Cooked at a training camp

in Gloucestershire.

Kept those boys strong, I did.

I'm sure you did. Perhaps a broth

of some sort for the children.

You must be an expert.

Best thin potato gruel with peelings in?

That always got 'em groaning

but kept 'em strong.

Are you well supplied with peelings?

These'll do. Only a day old.

[tinkling breeze blows]

A bit of gristle for flavour. Ever so tasty.

[chuckles]

Get that down you.

There's a lot of goodness in a turkey neck.

That'll put the hairs back on your chest.

[inhales deeply] Smell that.

That is the smell that forged this empire.

That pong is the pong of conquerors.

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