Nasty Baby

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- Hey.

- Hello.

Marcus, welcome.

- Good to see you, Freddy.

- Good to see you too, man.

Thank you for having me.

Thanks for coming.

You live in the city, right?

Yeah, I live in Soho still.

I have not been out here

in a very, very long time.

I had an old friend

that lived out...

- Wow!

- Welcome. This is home.

Wow. It's a jungle!

I know, right?

It's my boyfriend's obsession.

He gets one every other day.

Yeah, you want

some coffee, water?

Uh, water.

Water would be great.

- Oh...

- Here.

Nice yard. Thank you.

This is my cat, Sula.

- I'm a little allergic...

- Oh, sorry.

No, no, no.

It's okay.

Sula...

So, yeah, now, like,

this is where I live and work.

Mm.

- I don't really...

- Jennifer.

Oh, yeah.

- Jennifer...

- You're a fan?

No. Come on, it's a joke.

She looks so beige.

- She is beige.

- Right? She looks like bread.

Mm.

Uh, yes, and I was

telling you, like,

I feel that I don't need

that much space anymore, so...

God! But space, Freddy.

Look what you can do with space.

There you are.

And where are you going?

What are you doing

going into video?

- It's not like...

- What is this?

No, but it's not like

an extreme decision, like that.

I just, like, when you told me about

this group show, it just felt,

kind of like a great

opportunity to explore...

Why? Tell me.

Tell me why

is Dirty Baby right

for identity and heritage?

- Why? How?

- It's... it's Nasty Baby.

Nasty Baby.

Oh, that's much better.

- It's better, right?

- It's much better. Yeah.

It's more catchy,

but I feel that, yeah, like...

So, I've been trying to, uh,

make a baby with my best friend,

uh, for the last six months.

And so, since we start,

I've been obsessed with the idea

that eventually there's gonna be

a creature that resembles me,

- and is made out of my genes.

- Oof!

And like, it's so...

It's such a selfish act

to just keep on making babies when

there are so many that you can adopt...

- But you want it.

- But now I want to.

- You want it!

- Now I want to.

And then I feel so guilty

about it, that I feel that

I need to pay a price.

And the price is to go

through the embarrassment

of me portraying

a three-month-old baby...

- I love that one.

- Yeah, so these are pictures

of me when I was a baby.

- That's you?

- When I was a nasty baby.

- Oh, look at you.

- Yeah, like, go back to this time, you know,

and portraying this sort of,

like, gross cuteness.

Tell me if...

if we were to...

if you were done, and we

were pulling up tomorrow

to load in at this show,

what am I seeing?

- So, I'll be fully naked

- Oh!

- against a black background.

- Oh, okay.

- A black infinite background

- Okay, okay.

performing... I can show you.

It's really embarrassing.

- Please. I would love it.

- But, yeah, it's part of...

Should I... Do you

wanna get ready, or...?

No, no, no. No, I'm not

gonna get naked now.

- Okay.

- But I'll show you how it is.

- I'm ready.

- Okay, I'm ready too.

You're never ready for this...

- Okay, so...

- Oh.

Basically...

Okay, imagine if

black infinite background

no music at all, super raw.

And then, on video,

doing something like this...

Ooh...

Put your

left hand up. Left hand.

- How you doing?

- Fine.

How's your camel toe hanging?

It's good.

How's your loose butthole?

You got it.

There's no place...

Here. This one's so easy.

Yes!

Oh, my God!

- You're almost there.

- - Yeah!

Wait!

I have to touch it.

I have to touch it.

You guys had a...

I'm so proud

of you. I'm so...

Be careful.

Mom, look. Mom!

Sh*t.

I'm getting better now.

I had this meeting

with this gallery,

and I promise this is what

I showed him at my place.

I was, like,

rolling around like a disgusting baby.

- Funny, right?

- It's funny.

I just got an e-mail

from my doctor.

Your sperm count

is lower than we thought.

- So...

- Oh, no.

It's not gonna work.

It's kind of why

it hasn't been working.

Aw, I know. I'm sorry.

- It sucks.

- No, it's...

- I'm sorry I wasted your time.

- You didn't waste my time.

We tried, like, five months

with my lousy semen.

Are you kidding?

It's not lousy, it's just not...

- Low.

- It's just low.

So, yeah. So, now we just have to

try to figure out the next step,

- because time is kind of...

- What is the next step though?

I don't know, your brother?

I'm just kidding.

- Chino?

- I'm kidding.

- That's gross, man.

- 'Cause he's young, maybe...

Yeah, amazing cum.

Um...

What about Mo?

Yeah, Mo is...

It's always been an option.

- Yeah.

- I mean, like, he knows.

- Yeah, I think.

- He's waiting for the results, too.

- So, you'll talk to him?

- Yeah, I'll talk to him.

Today?

- Today? Yeah.

- Yeah.

I just wanna get it done, you know.

I wanna, like, keep moving.

Yeah, I'll talk to him. You wanna, like,

try for the next time you're ovulating?

Yeah, why not?

Ooh, boy.

I'm gonna go change.

Should we, like, leave?

- Yeah, let's go.

- Okay.

I can't get out.

- What do you mean?

- I can't get out.

- What do you mean?

- Oh, my gosh!

Freddy, please help me!

Oh, sorry, no,

I was just kidding.

- I know.

- Oh, baby, I'm sorry.

I know. It's... it's okay.

I don't wanna cry over it.

It just, like...

So, basically

Polly said that, uh,

if you could, uh...

if you could decide

soon whether, uh,

you wanna be

the next sperm donor...

How... how soon?

Um, I don't know.

She said tonight, but she didn't mean...

- She said tonight?

- Tonight that I ask you,

not that we tell her.

Whatever, it's like...

I think she wants to do it

before the next ovulation period,

which is within two weeks.

- Is that crazy?

- Well...

I mean, is this...

Why are you feeling so hesitant?

I don't feel hesitant.

It's not... I'm not...

I'm not against it.

I just don't wanna...

It'd be so amazing

if you could, man.

Some people can't.

- I have to think about it.

- Mm-hmm.

- But...

- And I will tell her maybe

- Tell her to...

- before she ovulates again?

Tell her that

she will ovulate again.

- She will.

- Eventually.

- Eventually. It's not...

- I know, I know.

- Yo...

- Hey, Mo. What's going on?

How are you, buddy? May I ask you how

much the three ivies in the front are?

Those are 25.

Twenty-five, all three of them?

The one in the end? Oh.

Uh, it's so painful.

It's so painful.

Look at them, dude.

- I've been one of those couples.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- The complaining about food...

No, no. Just like

the awkward dinner thing

The super silently.

Never bring me here again.

Oh, no. I wanna

rescue that poor woman, dude.

Dude, this plant is heavy.

Why am I carrying it?

You're so strong.

Thank you, baby.

You got it.

- Hey, Richard.

- - Oh, help is here.

Let us do it.

Let us do it.

Wait a second. Did you see

that guy going up the street?

- What guy?

- That... What guy...

That miserable bastard.

- Some kind of homeless person.

- - What happened?

I don't wanna even get into it.

He bullshitted me

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