Nasty Baby Page #2

---

out of a dollar.

Just now?

Yes, just when I parked.

He pretended to be helping me,

and that was all bullshit.

If you help me get the

apples out of the vehicle,

I will give you a wonderful

libation when we get inside.

- Can I just put these here?

- Of course.

Anywhere you can get them.

I appreciate your help.

- Freddy!

- Go inside, go inside.

- Where'd you go?

- I was lugging the bags.

Babe, your plant.

I'm going to make

us gin and tonic. One-one.

"Mayor of Adelphi Street"?

Yes. The mayor

of Adelphi Street.

I could've been the governor

of Adelphi Street.

Fritz looks

really cute in this picture.

He was a beautiful,

beautiful man.

Do you see this?

Wait, let me give you a little

squeeze You'll like it better.

- Here's another little squeeze.

- Thank you.

Go ahead.

Here's yours.

Okay. And let's drink

to your future, guys.

- I'm an old guy. I have a past.

- Cheers!

- Cheers.

- To my past.

- It's right there, framed.

- Yes.

- Cheers, babe.

- Cheers.

I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Yes, you are.

What are you doing?

- Oh, sh*t.

- What the f***!

- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Get out.

Get out.

Why the f*** does

he have keys to the house?

Well, because we'd agreed

that that was a good idea.

I was just

shaving. I came for my guitar.

Can I finish in your room?

It's your Mom. Picking up.

Cecilia. Yeah, it's me.

Yeah, not so good.

Yeah, I found out,

I'm not going to be able to be a Dad.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, exactly.

Why don't you help me?

Babe, your Mom wants

to talk to you no matter what.

Sorry, guys.

Hi, Mama.

I'm good. How are you?

Yeah.

Yeah... He's sad about it.

I haven't decided anything yet.

She's more of Freddy's friend,

you know, than mine.

Yeah.

Well... I'm gonna

take the test.

Yeah, just to see if...

Just to see.

- Hi.

- Guess what, amiga.

- Mo said yes.

- What?

- Really? He said yes?

- Yeah, he wants to...

I didn't say yes.

Tell her.

- Hey, Polly.

- So... Um...

Yeah, so... so you're

gonna do it?

Is that... is that right?

Uh, I'll definitely

go for the test, yeah.

Oh. The sample.

Okay, yeah.

Um, great. Thank you.

That's...

Um... Tomorrow,

is tomorrow good?

Let's... should

we just do it tomorrow?

Yeah, okay. Meet me

at the clinic in Fulton.

Okay. Um, you know what?

I have to run, 'cause, um, Chino's here.

Okay.

- Hi.

- Hello there.

- Come on in.

- Thank you.

- Sorry.

- - It's all right.

So this is "G."

You know it, right?

"G."

Yeah, I think so.

- It's confusing.

- This is "G" now.

Okay.

Oh, I wish I could

get you pregnant.

It'd be so easy.

You'd look so cute, too.

That's what you want?

That's gross. Maybe not.

Disgusting.

Turn the light off.

Get some rest.

Yeah, I'm not

even reading, dude.

Dude, what the f***?

What?

What are you doing, man?

Hey, dude!

- Freddy.

- What?

Dude, it's 7:
00

in the morning.

- Yeah, exactly

- What the f***.

Dude, it's 7:
00 in the morning.

That sh*t's not even legal!

Hey!

What the f***, man.

Just put your ear plugs in.

F***, I don't have any left.

Oh, motherf***er!

Baby, just...

Just breathe.

Yeah, I know. I know.

This is an opportunity.

Just use this as an

opportunity to calm down.

Okay, I know.

I know, I know...

Don't drive yourself

f***ing crazy.

- Oh, come on, it's a joke.

- I just... I promise

I talked to him yesterday.

He's gonna feel pressured.

You're making a big deal

of nothing. It's funny.

He's gonna feel

really pressured.

That's okay.

Excuse me.

I, uh... She wants to take a picture

with me and Arthur, do you mind?

- Oh.

- It's gonna be quick.

Oh, sure. It's fine.

He's just waking up. He might be a

little grouchy, but it should be fine.

- Hey!

- Here you go.

Oh, yes!

Oh, my goodness.

Okay, ready?

Look like it's your son.

So cute!

Oh, my gosh.

One more. Okay. Great.

- Aww.

- Thank you so much.

No problem.

- Okay, I'm texting you...

- That's so embarrassing.

Why? I'm texting you

this picture right now,

and I want you to send

it to Mo right away.

- What?

- Will you send them to Mo right away?

- Yeah... - You are right.

There are a lot of babies here.

Yeah, I know, right?

It's like every white mother

has a black baby.

- I know.

- You're gonna be a part of...

- I'll be trendy.

- Yeah. You're gonna be...

- We're gonna be in fashion.

- Yeah.

- It's great inspiration for...

- A, B, C...

Why do they do that?

Is that what you're doing?

No, I'm doing better.

Do try. It's really hard.

- I'm sure it's hard.

- Do one. Do her.

Yeah. Do that.

- You're f***ing good.

- Was it good?

- Yes. You're good.

- Thanks.

- Want to be part of the video?

- I thought it's just you.

I don't know. I think I'm gonna,

like, change it a little.

- You're gonna have more people?

- I think so. Yeah.

- I'll do it.

- Yeah, I can change it.

- Yeah, I'll totally... Yeah.

- Yeah, would you?

- For a few seconds.

- I got your text.

I'm not gonna be naked, though.

Hey!

Mo!

- What?

- You got a text message.

- What?

- You got a text message.

I think it's important.

That's kind of cute, man.

F***ing morons.

What the f***.

Yeah, that's

hilarious. He's with Polly.

Uh...

- Come on.

- I don't know.

That's his... That's

what he wrote back?

I don't know.

Eight episodes, I guess.

Dude, I saw Nick Cavett, like...

Dick Cavett.

- Oh, Dick Cavett.

- Nick Cavett.

I always call him Nick Cavett.

I got a sale, yo.

I got a sale. I got a sale.

- Hey, man. What you got here?

- Got a sale.

- Wow.

- - How much is this pot here?

- Five dollars.

- Five?

- One dollar.

- - One dollar. Okay.

What's your name?

Uh, Polly.

- They call me The Bishop.

- - The Bishop?

- Bishop, what's up, man?

- Ah...

Everything is a dollar.

- Everything is a dollar.

- She's gonna get the lamp.

- All right. That's a dollar.

- You want this lamp, right?

- That's great. Thank you.

- - Very pretty.

- Yeah, it's pretty cool...

- Not as pretty as you.

- Oh... Thank you.

- Uh-huh.

- Oh, you're gonna get the pot.

- I'm gonna get the pot.

- Okay. That's...

- Here. Two dollars.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- - Thank you.

Thank you, Polly.

Thank you, Bishop.

- Did I tell you my name was...

- Bishop. Yes, you did.

- See you around, man.

- Alrighty.

- Thank you very much. Bye.

- Goodbye, Polly.

- Dude, there's, like, bed bugs.

- Goodbye, Polly!

Bye! Bye. Thank you.

I think I have a new boyfriend.

- Do you like him?

- I should ask him for his sperm.

- I'm just kidding.

- It's better than mine, I'm sure.

- Hello, Freddy.

- Hey.

- How are you, Richard?

- I'm okay.

And you're encouraging

bad behavior, both of you.

- I'm encouraging what?

- Bad behavior.

- What do you mean?

- Buying things from...

from that man.

It encourages him.

- Why? Big deal.

- - Yes. Okay.

Do you like leaf blowers

in the morning?

- Is he the leaf blower guy?

- He's the leaf blower guy.

Uh, dude, he's my enemy.

- For real, like...

- - I know.

So take it back,

and get your money back.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes