Natural Born Lovers

Hello? Anybody in there?

Say something if you're there!

If no one's there, who would answer?

Anybody in there?

Why are you using Japanese?

No one answered in Cantonese

Maybe he would if I used Japanese

What's with the cursing?

Then what do we do now? The groom is missing!

This is really bad!

Then we won't get to eat any abalone?

Eat, eat, eat... I'll tell you what to eat!

Just keep looking!

Hurry up, move!

Hello

In the toilet, taking a piss, and by myself.

I feel like watching a movie.

Right now?

Why? Are you so busy right now?

I... I'm in the middle of a meeting

That is all. Bye-bye.

Er...

Hello?

Boss! We can't find you, where did you go?

I... The signal isn't very good here.

Call you back when I'm in a better spot. Bye.

"One year ago"

Hey granny, do you know where the toilet is?

Are you blind, kid?

Just from a glance, you shouldn't guess

that I'm no more than 25.

Especially with Angelina Jolie's good looks,

Jessica Alba's tight body,

And Sharon Stone's sharp wits.

Why Sharon Stone?

And your point is?

Oh, forget it!

Oh...

You really look like...

Like what? What?

- Does it hurt?

- Yes!

- Does it hurt?

- Yes!

Pinch me! Pinch me!

- Does it hurt?

- Ouch!

- Does it hurt?

- It freaking hurts!

Exactly!

You really are my idol!

What idol? You're mistaken.

No way!

Don't think I can't recognize you now

that you've grown up.

I've waited a long time for this day.

Here. Help me hold my bag.

You see?

You are Little Tayler!

Don't think I can't recognize you now

that you're grown up.

Look just the same! Can't deny it now, right?

Hey granny, what kind of weirdo

walks around carrying old gossip mags?

Idol, don't think I'm an idiot.

I borrowed these from your fans

so that I could take them into the toilet

And reminisce while taking a dump!

My fans?

Today is our International

Little Tayler Fan Club meeting.

We gather once a month to watch your films!

People still watch films like this?

This is the one where your cat has kidney failure,

and you donate your own to save him.

How can you put a human kidney in a cat?

And that's why you die! It's so tragic!

Girls! Look who's here!

Our idol!

Save some for me, girls!

Fai, I love you so much!

What was that about...

I really love you! Don't leave me!

I really love you!

- Don't you know that?

- Let go of me.

I really love you!

- Don't leave me!

- Just let me go, okay?

Let me move on already.

I'm begging you!

If it's because of her,

How come it's all blurred?

I love you, Fai!

Go to hell, b*tch! Dammit!

You've messed up my hair!

Oh!

"This is the first time they met"

"Three months later"

Hey! Bro! This way.

If your sister happens to ask,

tell her I went fishing with you last night.

Using me for another alibi?

We were classmates in primary,

you wouldn't sell me out, right?

She'd probably kill me if she found out.

I was sneaking some on the side.

So, it's settled, then! I gotta go.

Bro!

If you have something, say it.

It's freezing out here.

When your sister asks where I went with you,

Remember:
say we played Mahjong all night.

But I don't know how to play.

Actually, last night was

my girl's mother's birthday.

We had dinner in Shenzhen... game meats.

Do you have to involve me every single time, man?

Bro!

We were classmates in high school,

You won't just let me burn

without helping out, will you?!

Here, have a smoke.

No, really. You know how crazy she gets.

If she finds out about this, she'll kill me

and then go and kill herself!

I promise you. Just one more time!

Hey... Bro...

You don't have to say it.

What do you need me to say?

Bro, you must be a big fan of "Lie to Me", eh?

Just remember to tell her that

we were at a wake all last night.

Who died?

Actually, just my girl's dog.

So I spent the whole night

on her bed consoling her.

Isn't an all-night wake a bit implausible?

- Got anything better?

- There's no time!

Look, we were classmates in college,

don't tell me you're not helping me on this.

You know how violent she is.

If she ever found out,

she'd kill me first, then you, and then herself.

I get the chills just thinking about it.

I'll take this as a yes, then.

I'll head up first.

Fishing, mahjong, funeral...

You lost! Lucky, you get to drink!

Hi! Hey!

Hey, brother-in-law!

- Hey, brother!

- You're so late!

You guys are so on time. Order anything, yet?

Of course not! We're waiting for you!

Come on... have a drink first!

Later, later...

Let's order first.

Don't bother. Let her do it.

Hey, bro!

Tell us if you did anything

interesting last night!

Well, yesterday, this guy here...

Hey, I know where you went!

How do you know where I went?

What, your apprentice told me

you were baking cakes all night,

and you didn't even have dinner.

You f***er!

You said you went fishing with my brother.

Well, I... bro!

I really did go fishing with him!

Come on... How about you clear this up.

Look, here's what happened.

He called me yesterday while I was baking,

said he was at Kowloon City Pier

and the fish were jumping and snapping.

Well, you know how I like it that way.

So eventually... I agreed to go snag some,

Dropped what I was doing,

and caught a cab to join you.

Then where are the fish?

Why didn't I see you bring a damned one home?

He just likes the action,

It's got nothing to do with the fish.

And since you're always swearing,

To offset your Karma, we let them go free.

He helped out, too!

Bastard! Didn't you say you guys

played mahjong all night?

They went fishing!

No, honey, I really did play mahjong all night.

Hey, bro! Damn you!

You're spitting it out in pieces.

You'd better straighten this out!

Actually, what happened was this:

As the two of us were sitting there fishing...

This guy called up and wanted to play mahjong,

so since we'd been at it a good while

and wanted a break, we told him to bring

the tiles over to the pier and played four rounds.

Man, that place was really lucky, eh?

I won hand after hand.

Pures, Three Great Dragons,

Four Great Blessings...

They said I was practically a Mahjong God!

You're so great? Then who lost the most?

Old Wong from that store one street over!

Wong?

Didn't you say he died

and you'd be at his wake all night?

How could he possibly lose?

Bro, how about you try

and answer these suspicions.

Me again?

Just do what you can.

What finally happened was this:

So the three of us

were playing mahjong at the pier

and we thought we'd call Old Wong to join.

But when we called,

it turned out he was already dead.

Since last night was his wake,

why not just bring the tiles to the funeral home?

You played at a funeral parlour?

Well, there's no commission and

the AC is really good.

Most importantly, no complaints

for playing a few more rounds.

Now that we're all clear

on last night's whereabouts,

We'd really best order some food, okay?

Hold on!

Now what?

Not everyone's here.

Who else is missing?

Mom found a girl from Canada and

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