Neighbor

---

Thank you, Tom. This is Kip Wellington

at Springfield Penitentiary,

where notorious inmate Shawn Gracey

is still on the loose.

Gracey was apprehended three years ago

by the police for the murders

of over 35 people

in a small suburban town.

Police and authorities

are still working around the clock

to capture this notorious criminal.

We will be following the story,

and I will be checking in as it-

No. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Come on, Betsy! Betsy, please! Oh, no!

Betsy. Betsy, wake up.

Please...

You f***ing a**hole!

You just let her die?

Impressive wine cellar.

I was so surprised

you made your own.

I've always wondered if this worked.

No.

No!

Please no. No. Stop.

You know, they say the doctor says

a glass of wine-

it's good for the heart.

Hold still.

Could've aged it better.

Well, what do you think, Betsy?

Be honest.

Speak.

Yeah. Yeah, kind of.

I did the rest of

the 'shrooms last night.

Gave me messed-up dreams.

Because I was bored, and I had them.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

See you there.

There you go.

Thank you, dear.

No problem.

My little granddaughter's

gonna love these.

I don't know why my son put them

up so high in the first place.

Doesn't matter now anyway, does it?

You're right.

Are you okay?

These days, not so much.

What's wrong?

It's nothing to worry about.

I think my doctor

has to adjust one of my pills.

Mrs. Spool, about your medicine...

What would I do without you?

I've been switching it out

for quite a while now.

All of it.

What?

- Yeah.

- Why?

I just wanted to see how long it would take.

Call 911.

Diabetes, high blood pressure,

congestive heart failure.

You know, you hung in there

a lot longer than I thought.

Please...

Please...

Tell me, does it hurt?

Yes.

Well, that's a bummer.

I always get the same thing.

- It doesn't hurt to look.

- That's what she said.

- That doesn't even apply.

- It always applies.

I would like to apply

your face to the bar.

You're so rough, Donna.

So how does the band sound

on the new equipment?

F***ing fantastic.

Although I need you to come on over

and help me with the wiring.

What's wrong with the wires?

It's gonna be my last hurrah.

Shut up, dude. You're not quitting.

Being in a band

in high school was cool,

but it's different now.

Old man Mike.

That's who you are now.

You have responsibilities

to the band.

I'm not being old, Sam.

I'm just telling- I'm being realistic.

What do you think, penis?

- Don!

- You serious?

My Christ,

will you just go talk to her?

Soon enough.

You've been staring at that girl

for three freaking years, Don,

and in that time, you've said what?

I don't know. 17 words to her.

And you're just pissed off

because I still got options.

You're the one that's getting hitched.

That's something

I don't want to talk about.

Shut up.

Besides, he's trying

to get back together with Liz.

- No, I am not.

- You totally are.

Okay. A little.

You're both nuts.

Only in my dreams.

Stop obsessing, Debbie Gibson.

Yeah. Snagged.

Jenn, give me the hot wings, please.

I'll take the usual.

I'm gonna empty the tank.

Can I get another orange juice?

- Sure.

- Thanks.

Aw, man.

Yeah, I'll have a burger.

Say, Jenn,

D*ckhead Don

is having a party this weekend.

You son of a b*tch.

Why don't you and Janet stop by?

We might be able to fit that

into our schedules.

Awesome.

You're a f***ing genius.

- What?

- Nothing.

Everything come out okay?

Well, I'd love to stay

for the happy ending,

- but I gotta get back to frigging work.

- I hear that.

I told Elizabeth

I'd help her out at the store.

- See you.

- That's who you're tied to, pal.

I'll see you, Mike.

You're a pinky-finger marionette.

You're a loser.

Don't forget to come over tonight

and help me out with the wiring, okay?

You got it.

Good day, Lizzie.

Nice of you to show up, bud.

Queen Elizabeth

couldn't start without me?

It just wouldn't have been any fun.

Besides, you were the one

that offered to help.

I didn't think you'd actually

take me up on it.

Creep.

So you're really gonna move?

I really am.

You're gonna miss me

and the guys.

Don, you knew I was planning

to move to Santa Monica

before Mom's heart attack.

She's feeling better.

Yeah. We can just buy the place

and let them retire in Florida.

Stop being such a goon.

I know.

I'm just saying.

We always fight.

You always start them.

Don't you realize

how perfect things could be

if, you know,

you just kind of did what I said?

Lived at my beck and call.

You are such a creep.

And besides, everybody knows

you love Janet.

Come on.

You know that's a goof.

No. You are.

Speaking of mature...

Oh, God.

Knock it off.

What are you doing?

I want that one.

Just one second.

Yeah. Speak.

Yes.

No. You're supposed

to click out of that.

My mom just got a new Mac.

No, Mom, you're not supposed to be

in System Preferences.

Just don't click on that.

I can't believe this.

Go help her.

Mom- Mom- Mom-

Mom, okay, look, I will come over

to the house to help.

Just don't touch anything.

Okay.

They never listen.

Go and help your mom, Don.

We can finish this stuff

in the morning.

You sure?

Unless there's any more literature

you'd like to swipe from me today.

No, actually, you can take this back.

Hey, you still having

that thing on Friday?

Yeah, of course.

You should come.

I'll see you in the morning.

I promise.

Do you gotta chew like that?

I mean, do you have to chew like that?

It doesn't ring, dick slap.

It just flashes a light.

By the way,

how'd you guys get in here?

Back door was open.

Okay, I gotta head to Doc's.

So where is the old coot anyway?

Didn't ask.

What is that smell?

Sorry. I farted.

No, not that one. The other one.

Doc Bates- he's semiretired.

He's got sort of

a dental office set up downstairs.

He has nitrous.

Don't even think about going

close to that entrance.

Party pooper.

Let's go, guys.

You think S. W.A. T.

was a better show than The A-Team?

Cute doggy.

Thank you.

She really loves that dog?

Yeah, she does.

She'd love one of her own,

but I just don't have the time.

That's not yours?

No. It's Laurie's. We're neighbors.

We bring them here together

so they can tire

each other out, you know?

Isn't that cute?

You live around here?

No. I was just going for a walk,

and the bench looked comfortable.

You really should get her

a dog of her own.

Excuse me?

Yeah.

Kids need something to take care of.

It makes them better mommies.

Tina,

let's go.

Yeah, you agree. That's what I said.

Laurie, we'll see you later.

- Bye.

- Hi.

I know. He has the best house.

So they were like, "We'll

see you next Wednesday,"

and that was that.

I'm sorry.

Mrs. Muggles,

you really should leave people alone.

So obviously, party this weekend?

I know. Right?

I think he's bringing lots of beer.

You could've hired

somebody to do that.

Might be time to throw out the butter.

These wires look like a rat's nest.

I told you not to touch them

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