Neighbor Page #2

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until I got back.

So, dude, I have a confession.

Don't do it, douche!

Do what?

Do what?

Ah, f***!

Honey, look what I did. I'm sorry.

Let me see if I've got

something to fix you up.

What do you got in here?

Really.

Oh, my God. I've always wanted

to see if this works.

Shocked myself good.

That's what you get.

Too bad it didn't kill you.

Oh, yeah? Hey, do me a favor.

Don't use these externals

until I get a chance to fix them.

Now, I knew that wasn't gonna work.

I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna be really, really nice.

I'm gonna put you out of your misery.

Seriously, I don't get how you dong bags

thought that inviting Janet

would be funny.

Oh, come on. Everybody knows

you're getting back together with Liz.

You're gonna work it all out

and end up like this a**hole.

Liz was busting my chops

about her today.

I'm free. I could take Janet.

You're a douche.

Whatever.

I just wish you two

would get hit by a bus.

Hey, so, if I ever

get locked out or whatever...

And, actually,

you can do something for me.

I got a shitload to do on Friday

since it's gonna take me

a little while to get back,

so can you guys set up for me?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I can.

Oh, and you should know

- that I gave the key to that girl.

- Who?

The girl from Craig's List.

The one that I found.

You know, the intern, the helper...

Whatever. I thought

I told you about her.

You didn't say it would be a girl.

Well, she's into music production,

and it's gonna look good

on her rsum.

Such a Samaritan.

Do you even know what that means?

Yes, I do.

Can we go upstairs

and watch the movie now?

I told Nancy I wouldn't be too late.

What?

F*** you guys.

...where notorious inmate

Shawn Gracey

is still on the loose.

- Any cute boys at school?

- Gracey was apprehended three years ago

by the police for the murders

of over 35 people

in a small suburban town.

Police and authorities

- are still working around the clock-

- She's sleeping.

...to capture this notorious criminal.

We will be following the story,

and I will be checking in as it breaks.

Back to you, Tom.

I can't believe it.

That movie was bad.

That movie was just plain bad.

Young man,

there's no need to feel down.

Nice coat.

Okay, guys. Hey.

I gotta get up early

to help out Elizabeth.

Wow. Well, be careful you don't burn up

in the morning sun like a vampire.

- Vampire!

- I'll burn your face.

- Wow.

- My rapier wit.

Oh, sh*t. I forgot my trash.

Sellout.

- Both of you.

- Was that for you?

And now that you've littered yourself.

Dude, call me tomorrow.

How's it going, Karen?

How are you?

Who's the best?

You are.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

So guess who just

paid me a visit at my car.

Who?

- Tony D.

- Tony D?

- That guy's out of control.

- I know.

He got me last week.

He just wants your money.

You didn't give him any money, did you?

Of course I gave him money.

It's your fault.

You didn't give him any money?

No.

I gave him a banana.

I had a banana in my bag,

so I gave it to him.

Because you were concerned

about his potassium levels.

Right?

Well, you know,

I want him to be healthy.

- Thank you, Tom. This is Kip Wellington-

- Hey, look.

...standing outside Springfield

Penitentiary-

They still haven't caught that killer.

...where notorious inmate Shawn Gracey

is still on the loose.

- Gracey was apprehended-

- Scary.

...three years ago by the police

for the murders of over 35 people.

Who the hell's there?

What the-

What the f*** is going on?

Hope you don't mind.

I borrowed some clothes.

They smelled kind of clean.

What the f***?

Who the hell are you?

What is this?

Okay, okay, okay.

All right. This is some kind of joke, right?

You're some kind of stripper

or something, right?

Yeah. That's very funny, guys.

It's hysterical.

Okay, here we go.

Thanks, guys.

This is great.

You can come out now.

God damn.

- What-

- I am not a stripper.

What the f***?

Don't speak.

F***!

Do you like this now?

I swear to God,

when I get out of here, I'm gonna-

Come on.

Knock it the f*** off.

You will not move from this seat.

Oh, God! That's-

Oh, God!

F***! F***!

F***!

You will not sleep.

You want to see something

really scary?

Its natural environment is a hole.

Time to go home now, buddy.

Son of a b*tch!

Son of a b*tch worm!

Why don't you just go home?

That is your home now! Go home!

That is your home now!

Disgusting!

I have to wash this sh*t off of me,

thank you very much.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

All right.

Oh, sh*t.

Look at what I did.

Eat a bowl of d*cks.

Well, you've got a dirty mouth.

We should clean that up.

Let me the f*** go.

Is it safe?

Un-f***ing-tie me,

and I won't rip out your larynx.

Is it safe?

Is what safe?

No!

You look like a marlin.

Get it the f*** out!

Wait. Hold still.

Sorry. Tricked you.

What do you care anyway? It's out.

Here. Chew on this for a bit.

You're getting blood

all over the place.

I feel like I'm forgetting something.

The coffee.

Hey, I really like these mugs.

Where'd you get them?

Hot.

Why?

"Why"?

Why you can afford to live

in a place like this.

That's what I want to know.

It's just you. No housemates.

Go to hell.

You have no idea

where I've been, brother.

What happened here?

Go f*** yourself.

I don't want you to pass out.

What?

You'll see.

You got a lot of fun stuff here.

Hey, it's all yours.

Just get the hell out of here.

I don't want your junk, pal.

Oh, f***!

F***!

Oh, f***!

Go-

Gnarly. A fake kneecap.

You must've had all kinds

of rehab for this.

"Are you coming by later?"

Sorry.

All tied up with work.

Stop by later.

Smiley face.

Oh, f***!

Hey, a**hole,

I brought some, uh, T-shirts.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

So you're her.

"Her"?

Craig's List.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm Jenn.

That's funny. We know a Jenn.

Yeah. Who doesn't?

Seriously.

Yeah, so, I'm just doing

some work for him downstairs.

Really?

It's probably my band-

The Low Budgets.

I like it.

Well, we're having a show

this Saturday at the Rusty Nail.

You should come by

and bring some friends.

I totally will.

And I patched the external wiring.

You did? Really?

I've got a broad education.

I see that.

So the mix will be done

by the party for sure.

Sweet.

I'll probably see you Saturday?

I can let myself out.

You must be thirsty.

There you go.

It's good for you. Little more.

Little more.

Come on.

Sam's outside.

What?

Sam?

Sam, help me!

Don? Yo. Donny.

Don. Donny.

Did you pick up those...

What happened to your face?

What the-

You are not an intern.

Okay?

Don, I'm sorry about this.

Sam...

Get up, Sam!

You okay, man?

Kill that f***ing b*tch!

Sam...

Don, you're okay.

You're okay, hon. You're okay.

Jesus.

I wish the doctor could just give me

a pill to forget about this whole thing.

I know you do, sweetie.

Come up to bed.

Okay.

Okay. Be right there.

I'm never gonna

get used to that thing.

That's the point.

- Don't forget to-

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